~11-30-04~ Computers!!!

well, sorry that i again haven't been posting. my computer (laptop) had been goofy the past few days, then that little thing that pops up at the bottom saying you have window updates kept flashing at me. i had been ignoring it forever. well one of the errors said that the service pack 2 should resolve the issues.......well i did the update thing and now i cannot get on my laptop!!!!!!!!!

it will boot up, then a blue error screen flashes for a milisecond then it shuts down, then reboots, over and over and over........and i can't even read the error screen to see what the problem is!!! i put in the disc that came with the computer, thinking it is a restore, well i can't even get that to run. i then put in the windows xp disc i got with my gateway and attempted a fix, and it keeps asking for a damn administrative password. well what the hell is that?!?! i tried using the administrative password that i have on the computer but it doesn't work!!!

FUCKER!!!! so i called best buy today to see how much they charge to look at it and see what the problem is. $60 fucking bucks!!!!!! tomorrow i am going to look in the yellow pages and see what i can find out. then only bad thing about that is i did that once before and got some guy who didn't know what he was doing....and even though he was the cheapest i could find at the time, $45 and hour, it took him over 4 hours to fix the damn problem!!!!!!!!!!!!

so that is about it. i do have a lot to say about my shows and all, but i can't stand sitting in this chair at my desk computer. GOD i miss my laptop!!!!!!!!! and if you actually think i have been getting to sleep earlier since i don't have my bedmate (laptop) keeping me up........ WRONG!!! now i am catching up reading my magazines that have been neglected lately. sigh!!!!

well i am off now, hopefully to sleep........catch ya'll later.

i hope you all had a wonderful thanksgiving!! take care.

~11-25-04~ Happy Thanksgiving

sorry i have been MIA lately. like i previously posted, bob was off all week, so i didn't really have any time to get on here.

i kept trying to remember stuff i wanted to post. probably nothing important to all of ya'll, but is anything i write?! hehe!! ****this is a LONG entry****

the main thing that sticks out in my mind from this past week is that i think i am NOT meant to get a new front door WITH sidelites!!!!!!!!! i can't even tell you how many times i have been to lowe's this past week. (actually longer). speaking of the door from hell, it kept blowing open tonight, scaring the shit out of me every time!! thankfully i put that chain lock on there, but it would still open a good 4 inches. so i had to pile stuff in front of it to keep it closed.

anyways, over the past few weeks i have went to lowes to get prices for the sidelites. everytime i get someone who doesn;t know what the fuck they are talking about. i even went to 2 different lowes!!!! we went to the massillon one on saturday, you don't even want to know how much i spent there!!! about $400!!!! i did do good though, most of it was for the house, and the improvements, so i didn't feel all that guilty. i ended up calling the lowes at the strip on sunday, they guy got back to me, and yes, didn't know what he was talking about. he did give me a price, but he told me that i couldn't get them seperately, they had to be already put together, which i don't want. so anyways, i went back there on monday, hoping to talk to someone that knew what they were talking about. NO! plus their computers were down, so i couldn't get any prices. he took my info and was going to fax everything to whoever knows and get back to me. mind you people this was actually in the AM!! before clay's nap. we were up and out of the house by like 10AM. i even went to home depot and their prices were WAY outrageous, plus there too, i don't think the guy knew what he was talking about. so we went home, actually we went to the villiage discount outlet, which is a used clothes store. we got 3 HUGE bags of clothes for $35!!! i love that place, sort of.........i hate that the clothes aren't sorted by size. it is a pain in my ass to go through all those damn clothes, getting pissed at all the cute ones that aren't my size, i also hate that they don't have a dressing room and the clothes are NOT returnable...they keep saying that there are measuring sticks at the end of the isles, what the hell is that going to do for me?!...lastly i hate that they don't take checks. so we went home.......all night NO CALL FROM LOWES!!

but monday night, mom came over to watch clay so bob and i could run to walmart, tricia you don't even want to know how much i spent there!!!!! granted i haven't been in a few weeks, so i had to stock up. also, it wouldn't have been bad, but i bought a TON of christmas decorations, so that was all extra that i wouldn't have normally spent. we wheeled our 2 carts up got one 1/2 empty and came to a dead halt! i don't know what the fuck happened in front of us (stupid cashier) but this other cashier had to come and re-ring their whole entire purchase!!!!!! and they had a lot of stuff too. i was getting pissed cause it was almost 8, and i have shows on damn it!!!!!!!!!! so we finally get going and it is 8PM, so i had to call my mother and talk her through using the DVR so she could tape at least 1 of our shows. so we taped fear factor. back to stupid cashier, she did fairly well with my order, she briefly screwed up the deal where if there is something advertised at another store, cheaper you get that price, but she got through it and i got my milk for $1.88 a gallon, anyways, i get to the $100 gift card i was purchasing, and i swear that took 10 minutes!!!! i know the growing line of people behind us were getting pissed!!! not my fault!!!! we finally got home i'm sure after 8:30, i don't even know since i had to put away all the groceries that we got, plus had to send bob back out for supper. we had to rush home cause it was clay's bedtime and i had to do that. since my mom stayed to entertain clay while i put everything away, she stayed to watch her shows, i totally forgot that the swan was on at 9, so i forgot to tape that!!!!

on to tuesday. we went to the mall so i could FINALLY get my nails done!! or course she wanted me to get a new set, since it had been so long, but NO, it was already 11:30AM, and we had to be home or clays nap. so i just ot my fill. *********OOOOHHHHHH!!! get this!!!! bob comes in the nail place and says he was just chasing miriam around the mall. i was like WHAT?!?! who the hell is that?!?!? here it was miriam from amish in the city !!! no way right!!! for those of you who don't know, she is from amish country that is about a 1/2 hour from here. he said he wasn't even sure if it was her at first, but there happened to be some other amish there shopping and she stopped and talked to them, so then he knew it was her. he was going to go up and talk to her, but he had clay in this car stroller, she was going fast, and he didn't want to run down the mall chasing some broad from tv. i wanted to go check out the mall to see if she was still there, i soooooo want to know if any of the others went back amish, but it was way late and we had to et clay home, but how cool was that?!?

so we head BACK out to lowes after clay's nap, since i still got NO call back(by the way i placed an order online at lowes for christmas lights the night prior, so i was going to pick those up while we were there). i go to the customer service, they can't find my order and have no record of my order!!!!!! ok lowes, what the fuck!!! i spend enough money in your store why are you fucking me?!?!?! so we head back to the doors.....the guy recognizes me, and says he doesn't have the info yet, the computers are still down and noone has got back to him about the info he faxed them!!!! a week or so prior when i started inquiring about doors, i was told there was a 21 day order time!!!! my door is to be done when they do the siding........i am hoping the siding is going to be done SOONER than 21 days!!!! so i really need to getthis freakin door ordered!!!!! bob was about to blow his top, so we left.....had to rush him to cici's pizza before he lew a gasket, nothing thattheir cinnamin rolls can't cure!

i actually set the timer on the DVR just in case we had another long night, but we didn't need to. clay was in a mood so we had to keep pausing the biggest loser, and we had that billionair show taped. so after we finally got through the loser, i HATE that dave guy!!! i'm so glad he is gone!!!!!! we watched to billionaire show. how flippin scary would that be to have to stay by YOURSELF in the middle of the jungle in africa!!!! hearing god knows what all around you?!?!?! i don't even know how dude fell asleep, i would have been terrified!!!! anyways, after that we watched scrubs that we taped, and i thought something else. then i made bob watch the amazing race from the previous week, so he would be caught up this week. after that it dawned on me that the amazing race is on on tuesdays......THIS IS TUESDAY!!!!!! GOD DAMN IT!!!!!!!!!!!!! i fucking missed the amazing race!!!!!!! GOD!! you all know how i am about my shows, so you can imagine how pissed i was. thankfully at the website, they give a very good and detailed account of the show. so i know what happened basically. i am STILL mad though! i also forgot that dog the bounty hunter was on, luckily they replay that at 2AM, so i got to tape that.

finally this morning some time, the guy from lowes called. i was tired, i got up with clay this morning, so i didn't answer the phone. i didn't even listen to what he said yet. i'm seeing my cousin, who is doing the work on my house, tomorrow, so i may just see if he can order the damn door, so i can be done with it. speaking of him, i also got some bad news from him. the color siding that i picked out doesn't come in the dutch lap style siding that we were originally going to go with only some 4 fold something. i can't really find any good pictuers so you can really see a difference, but the dutch lap looks so much better! so that pisses me off, and i am NOT changing my color!!

we didn't do anything today. i caught up on a few of my soaps before nap time. bob went and played cards, he is still there, so mom came over for a bit. oh by the way, the reason lowes couldn't find my order the other day is cause my computer battery died before the order actually placed. so now it is there, and i can pick it up whenever. another good thing is that i have a few things to take back, so the $50 i spent on christmas lights, will pretty much be covered by that. yes i spent $50 on lights!! you should have seen my original order! it was $200! i had a bunch of lights and decorations for outside. since i don't even know if my house will be done before christmas, there is no sense for me to spend money i don't have on decorations for it. BUT i am going to go a little nuts inside. just on the tree. i'm so excited for this christmas. since this is going to be the first christmas clay will actually be able to somewhat understand and enjoy. i had to get new stuff for the tree, since i can't have my pretty tree anymore. i have a picture somewhere, i'll have to find it to show you all. my tree used to be soooooo pretty. it was all done in burgandy, green and gold, to match my living room. with all white lights. sigh, so pretty. anyways, there is NO WAY IN HELL i'm using glass bulbs, i know they would not last 2 seconds with my child!!!! so i got a ton of pretty nice looking plastic ones. and i ordered a TON of MULTI-colored lights. i don't like them, but i am sure clay will get a kick out of them! i even got a few different sizes, i hope it looks nice. i can't wait to see his face when he wakes up christmas day (christmas eve day) and sees the tree. the look on his face is going to be priceless!!!!!!!!!!! that is going to be one day when i actually won't mind being up at the crack of dawn!! i'm so excited!!

back to tonight, which happened to be ALL bachelor night. all i can say is WOW!! and YEA!!!!!! i love mary!!! she is the one i wanted him with. i actually didn't cry for tonya being rejected, which i did feel awful for her, but i started bawling, cause i was sooooo excited for mary, and i knew she was going to be so happy!

again all i can say is WOW!!! what a proposal!!!!!!!!!!! i was in tears, how she wasn't i have NO CLUE!!!!!! that was just incredible!!!!! if bob's and my circumstance was different i know he would have done somethig spectacular just like that!!!!!!!!! well the old bob, this one i am dealing with now, i don't know. he actually did do something really romantic the 1st time he asked me to marry him. yes i said 1st. he proposed like 8 0r 9 years ago (my god has it been that long?!?!) we went to niagara falls, and somehow i was inside at the skylan tower, he was outside. i went outside and he had some guy holding our camcorder and i was like what the hell....i went out and he bent down and proposed!!!! it was so romantic, and the ring was soooo beautiful. i cried for like ever, and felt stupid cause i was on tape, people watching!!!!!!!!! and i did say yes. but at the time we weren't getting along, and i was NO where near ready to be married. but i had to say yes, all those people were watching, how could i say no and embarrass him like that?!?! so the ride home was pretty ackward. i think he knew the situation. plus even way back then i was a cheap ass, so i made him take the ring back cause he spent WAY too much money!!!!!! i didn't have full control of the money then, that is how he managed to spend that much. it just wasn't our time. but i always knew, imagined what he would do if there were a next time. clay came along unexpectedly, so there was no real time to get all fancy or romantic. we wanted to be married before he got here, so after i told him i was pregnant, he disappeard for a few minutes, came back and asked me to marry him. here he went and called my mom to ask her permission. that was still kind of romantic and sweet, i thought. that was janurary, we were married in march. it was BEAUTIFUL though!! people who spend months and months planning and tons of money.......NUTS!!!!!! mine was just as beautiful nd special, minus the church, as though, but with less stress and MUCH less money. you can see some pictures at my website link to the left or click HERE. the only regret i have is that i didn't get any better pictures from the reception. i bought a ton of those disosable camers for each table, but my family and friends must suck at taking pictures, cause most of them sucked!!! and bob's friend's (best man) girlfriend was supposed to be taking pictures. she did reat at the ceremony, but when i got the disc from the wedding, all the reception pictures were of their friends!!! none of bob and i or anything wedding related!!!!

how in the world did i get into all of that?!?! for not muh happening this week, it sure types out to be alot! wow!!

we are going to my aunts tomorrow for turkey day. thankfully bob's mom is going to virginia to be with her dad, so we don't have to go there. not as mean as that sounds, i don't mind going there, it is just such a long day, and with clay getting no nap it is too hectic going to 2 different places. i just want to start having the holidays here!!!!! i'm supposed to have christmas eve, but i just found out that she is going for christmas too. so i may have them over the week before, then my family on christmas eve. i'm hoping my family sees that it isn't too bad here, and i can suggest starting to have holidays, or at least some of them, it would be a lot easier on my aunt!!!! espcially if/WHEN we get a new house. that is my plan. especially if we have more kids. i can't see schelping more that 1 kid all over town, it is bad enough with 1. i see my cousin with 3, and they have like 4-5 places to go each holiday....no way in hell!!!!!!!!!!

then bob had this big idea and asked if he could take clay with him and his mom to virginia for thanksgiving. at first i thought he was joking.........how did he think that was even going to fly?!?!?! hell fucking no!!!!!!!!!!

i felt bad telling him that he couldn't take his child to go visit his grandfather.......but hello, it is a holiday, i want to spend it with my child! he isn't even close with his grandfather. not that it should matter, but i don't think we even got a phone call or card when we were married (he was invited, all them down there were), and we didn't get any kind of card or call when clay was born!!!! i said he should come up here if he wants to meet us, he goes on about how old he is. ok, but the man goes out hunting! if he can trounce around outside hunting animals, he can make a simple visit up to ohio to see his family. maybe i am just being mean and inconsiderate. but i am sorry. i don't want to be away from my child, and it would just be too much hassle taking clay somewhere new. we can barely keep him in his crib to sleep, where would he sleep down there?! he tried to con me, by saying, just think you can sleep in every day. yeah, that would be great....but i'd rather be up at 7am, and be tired going on only 4 hours of sleep, than be away from my child for any extended period of time. i hate being away from him for a few hours, i couldn't even imagine days!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

well it is after 2am, i better get off of here and go to bed, before i get upset that he isn't home yet. he forgets he has a home when he goes out....then wonders why i get pissed. as long as his ass is up tomorrow, so we don't have to be rushed, like every other holiday! he forgot to go get what i needed for my corn casserole, so at least i don't have to cook in the morning. but just getting clay ready and myself ready takes the whole damn day! and we have to be there at 1. hopefully we will be home by 5 or 6. my shows are on! :) well not ER cause of some damn seinfeld thing. i don't like seinfeld. i just always thought they did dumb shit for grown people. yes, some of it was funny, but mostly they just got on my nerves, and if i had friends like that, i don't think they would be my friends for very long. maybe i never really paid attention or got into it....i don't know, but now there are messing with my shows, so that really crosses the line!

oh well......i hope you all have a GREAT thanksgiving!!! be safe, have fun, eat tons of good food and mostly be thankful for all your friends and family!!!! that is what i am most thankful for this year! even tho some of them are gone, i am thankful that they were a part of my life and i am partly who i am today, because of their love and guidance. take care and god bless!!

~11-19-04~ I'm peed out!

i guess thankfully not on...........

but as excited about the whole pee thing yesterday, clay peeing in the potty, it sure wasn't happening today!!

he did sucessfully pee on the carpet by the banister, on the banister, through the banister..onto the steps, carpet and railing below this morning. then while i was fixing dinner he ran in telling me "pee, pee, pee", then he proceeded to show me where he peed all over the carpet by the phone, then tonight he peed all over himself and the rocking chair while he was playing with my mom.

NOT ONE DROP IN OR ANYWHERE NEAR THE POTTY!! {SIGH}

oh well, i'm gonna try one more day of naked butt and see how it goes. if it still isn't happening, we will just go back to the diapers and occasional sit on the potty for now. like i said, i'm not rushing or pushing anything.

i got the last of my packages today. so now i have all of my items, even the one that were backordered (except the garland). i'm not really happy with the wreath i ordered, it is very small and looks very cheap, definitely not worth $20, i will be sending it back!! and also the snow globe stocking holder i got for clay, looks sort of scratched-just kind of fucked up. i may send it back as well. i don't know much about shipping charges, i believe shipping on the item was free, but i will have to pay to ship it back and i doubt they will reimbuse me that, and i don't know if they will charge to ship it back to me. i will be calling to find all that out.

i sooooooooooooooo need my nails done. i think i have been telling you all that for a month now. it is VERY true. today i finally got around to calling the salon up the road from me. i found out that a fill is $14!!!!!!!!!! how the fuck long has that been going on?!?!?! i was happy as hell when i found the girl down the road who did them for $16. unfortunately her pregnancy handicap, and her screwed up mother ended that. anyways, i was elated to hear that!!! then i go to make an appointment and she is all booked up. so i ask about for tuesday, and the broad is only there on thrusday, friday and saturday. what the hell is that?!?!?! i need my nails done before the holiday!!! she could have got me in today at 2, i called at 1:45, my husband was working and my child sleeping. how was that supposed to work. so i am now on the waiting list, praying for a cancellation tomorrow after 4, or anytime saturday. i don't see it happening though. i'm sure everyone wants their nails done before the holiday. so hell!!! i'm going to have to drive across town to go to the oriental place. which i truly LOVE.....any of them. i have not had one bad job with any of them. they are just too expensive and too damn busy. i will never sit and wait more that 5 or 10 minutes to get my nails done. you definitely can't go to those people on he weekend or when school lets out. all the teeny-boppers are there getting ready for their wild, crazy, fun-filled, single weekend. which means i will have to wait til tuesday....mondays are bad too since everyone is in there getting their nails fixed from breaking them having all the fun that single young people have on the weekends. anyways, i'll have to wait til tuesday, and i don't know if my nails can wait!

i cracked the hsit out of one tonight getting clay's bed ready. just the acrylic cracked, not my whole nail, so the mesh of clay's tent was caught between my cracked nail.......for ONCE (and only once) thank god was upstairs playing his damn poker cause i had to call him in to come help me. i just glued her up, so hopefullyshe will hold on. i'm glad bob is off next week, cause i can FOR SURE go get them done.

as a continuation form the last post i HATE, HATE, HATE those fucking women on survivor!!!!!!!!! i'm really mad a twila and i think she sealed her fate tonight!! i think it will either be her or scout (the only 2 i somewhat like) voted off next week.

on the apprentice i was glad that broad was booted. she sure was pretty, damn she got on my nerves!!!!!! i don't really like anyone there either, i don't have a favorite or anyone i am rooting for.

i cried at ER, but that is no surprise!

do you know who i think is extremely ugly? that sarah jessica parker!!!! she is so hideously foul!! i don't understand how everyone loves her. UGH!!! then again, i don't find most of the "beautiful" people out there in hollywood attractive. so maybe i don't know what i am talking about.

the 2 hottest are brad pitt, and catherine zetta jones. i remember first seeing her in zorro. anyone sitting behind me our around me must have thought i was a big lesbo, cause i just kept going on and on to my mom about how beautiful she was!!! SHE IS!!!!!!!! and brad, well just look at him!!! even bob admitted that he would do him!! haha!! that is about the only person we agree on. he is one of the ones with bad taste. hehe! except for brad and i, that is.

well i am all done with my drink and i don't want to open another pop, just to take a few sips before i head to bed, and i am too lazy and it is too late to go make koolaid, so i need to get off of here.....i keep reaching over for something to drink and there is nothing there! guess that is one way to get me to go to sleep.

P.S. my roof is done!!!!! they came back today to do a few last things, but they were gone by about noon! all is great except all my spouting is now laying in the backyard by my fence, which just adds to the white trash-ness of all the unraked leaves and a deflated, empty swimming pool covering the rest of it. to add insult to injury i think i will take a picture of it just to show you all i am NOT exaggerating....for those of you who don't know me, who think i may be. i am not! maybe posting a picture will emabarass hubby enough to finally do it. then again, he sure isn't embarrassed by all the thousands of cars that drive by every day and see it, so i don't know why some internet people would bother him. well he is off this weekend, and next week, so things better be getting done!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! especially if he thinks he is going and playing real poker next wednesday.

~11-19-04~ I'm peed out!

i guess thankfully not on...........

but as excited about the whole pee thing yesterday, clay peeing in the potty, it sure wasn't happening today!!

he did sucessfully pee on the carpet by the banister, on the banister, through the banister..onto the steps, carpet and railing below this morning. then while i was fixing dinner he ran in telling me "pee, pee, pee", then he proceeded to show me where he peed all over the carpet by the phone, then tonight he peed all over himself and the rocking chair while he was playing with my mom.

NOT ONE DROP IN OR ANYWHERE NEAR THE POTTY!! {SIGH}

oh well, i'm gonna try one more day of naked butt and see how it goes. if it still isn't happening, we will just go back to the diapers and occasional sit on the potty for now. like i said, i'm not rushing or pushing anything.

i got the last of my packages today. so now i have all of my items, even the one that were backordered (except the garland). i'm not really happy with the wreath i ordered, it is very small and looks very cheap, definitely not worth $20, i will be sending it back!! and also the snow globe stocking holder i got for clay, looks sort of scratched-just kind of fucked up. i may send it back as well. i don't know much about shipping charges, i believe shipping on the item was free, but i will have to pay to ship it back and i doubt they will reimbuse me that, and i don't know if they will charge to ship it back to me. i will be calling to find all that out.

i sooooooooooooooo need my nails done. i think i have been telling you all that for a month now. it is VERY true. today i finally got around to calling the salon up the road from me. i found out that a fill is $14!!!!!!!!!! how the fuck long has that been going on?!?!?! i was happy as hell when i found the girl down the road who did them for $16. unfortunately her pregnancy handicap, and her screwed up mother ended that. anyways, i was elated to hear that!!! then i go to make an appointment and she is all booked up. so i ask about for tuesday, and the broad is only there on thrusday, friday and saturday. what the hell is that?!?!?! i need my nails done before the holiday!!! she could have got me in today at 2, i called at 1:45, my husband was working and my child sleeping. how was that supposed to work. so i am now on the waiting list, praying for a cancellation tomorrow after 4, or anytime saturday. i don't see it happening though. i'm sure everyone wants their nails done before the holiday. so hell!!! i'm going to have to drive across town to go to the oriental place. which i truly LOVE.....any of them. i have not had one bad job with any of them. they are just too expensive and too damn busy. i will never sit and wait more that 5 or 10 minutes to get my nails done. you definitely can't go to those people on he weekend or when school lets out. all the teeny-boppers are there getting ready for their wild, crazy, fun-filled, single weekend. which means i will have to wait til tuesday....mondays are bad too since everyone is in there getting their nails fixed from breaking them having all the fun that single young people have on the weekends. anyways, i'll have to wait til tuesday, and i don't know if my nails can wait!

i cracked the hsit out of one tonight getting clay's bed ready. just the acrylic cracked, not my whole nail,

~11-18-04~ OH MY GOD!

i forgot to tell you all the most important thing...........

clay peed in his ptty tonight all by himself!!!!

the past few days at about 7-7:30 i let him run around with his diaper off, etting him to sit on the ptty again. we did the same tonight. he kept grabbing himself and i kept telling him to go pee in the potty. he'd go sit, nothing.......over and over.

we were watching tv nd he went over tohis potty and sat down, he got up and started clapping!! i jumped up and went over to the potty and there was pee in it!!!!!!!!!!!!! also all over the potty and ll over the carpet, but who cares HE PEED IN THE POTTY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! and there was actually alot in the potty!!! before when i got him to go, it would only be a couple of drips, but he had a full fledge pee!!!!!! WOO-HOO!!!! so we went on and on with the clapping and the praising, and i even gave him a piece of candy, which i shouldn't start that. we were all happy!! if you are a mommy or a daddy, i'm sure you know the feeling.

i must admit that i am not really all that anxious to get him out of diapers. that is because i am lazy!!!!! i hear what my friend molly is going through. everytime they go somewhere, grocery store, out to eat, like every 5 minutes marisa says she has to pee. and you have to take her!!! so i bet that is loads of fun!!!

then during the night, she would no longer pee in her diaper, so she would yell for molly so molly would have to get up every few hours to take her to the potty. sure don't look forward to that one!!!!!!

plus it means he is growing up, which is kind of sad. some days it seems like it was just yesterday that he came into my life......other days it seems to have been longer than 2 years. i just love him soooooooooo much!!!

ok, that was my main news! i don't know how in the world i forgot to mention it right off!!

i think i am going to try and let him go without a diaper all day tomorrow, see how it works out. i'm not pushing anything though, he is a smart cookie, he will get i when he is ready.

talk about smart cookie, one more quick story about how smart he is. he seen that i had a can of pop with my dinner, so he came and wanted a drink. he drinks all hoopy from a can, and i knew he didn't get anything. so he runs in the kitchen, then comes back in crying, wanting me to get up and go with him. bob ended up going, and i knew exactly what he was going to come back with. know what it was????? a straw so he could drink the pop!!! as a matter of fact, bob didn't even know where the straws were clay showed him!! i really don't know why clay knows where they are, we don't really use them. but how cute is that and how smart is he!!!!

ok, enough mommy bragging now! hehe :)

onto things i am hating about tv this week:

my soap, one life to live, is pissing me off. yeah at first i wanted christian and natalie together, but he died, i want her with john now, how are they going to bring christian back now!!!!!!!

dog the bounty hunter, why can i not watch an episode without crying?!?!

amazing race 6....i hate, hate, hate that wrestler broad, and i hate, hate, hate that michael guy! like usual i like the underdogs, i was crying when the older couple were climbing up the ice wall, i like them! and i also like the father and daughter, but i am almost certain they will be the next 2 teams eliminated.

survivor from last week. women are so god damned dumb!!!! i can't stand any of them on this freakin show except twila! i liked all the guys left, i was mad that sarge got booted. i was so pissed and disgusted and those 2 broads coming back with the chicken wings for the girls, and didn't tell the guys.....just let them think they brought back bones. i was so fucking hot, i was totally yelling at the tv, that was just down right bullshit, and uncalled for! i used to like that leann broad too, not anymore! they can all be gone, hopefully ami is first cause i really hate her!!!!

25 million dollar hoax- what the fuck!! the previews for next weeks finale, showed you exactly what is going to happen!!! what the hell is the point of watching?!?! what the hell were they thinking. how hilarious is that show though!! that is another one i just couldn't do. i mean yeah in the end it is all for good, but i would never be able to put my family through all of that!! plus i think she should at least get a million dollars!! what the hell is up with $400,000 in prizes?!

that fake boss show is ok. it just seems so outrageous, i don't see how these people don't see that!! i'm making a total guess here, but wouldn't it be funny if the "mystery boss" is amarosa! HAHA!!!

how about that billionaire show!! i love it, i love the stunts they do, but i think it is totally retarded on how he chooses to send home. i mean what is the point of them having to do a stunt?! whoever wins the stunt isn't guraranteed to stay, so what's the point, it's bullshit. they do do some very, very cool shit!!!!

from the bachelor---krysta, i hate her!!!! hate, hate, hate!! it was soooo awesome that byron totally dogger her out!!! that was GREAT!!!!

the swan- i thought it was pretty shitty to have both sisters go up against each other!!

lost- where the hell are the monsters???? they haven't been on in ages!

i hate that all moring kid shows are repeats!!!!!!!! and if i happen to miss the show and only catch the last few minutes of it, it is always one that i haven't seen!!!!!!!!! what the hell?!?!?

sesame street! i've been waiting and waiting for the new season of dr. phil to start. i haven't seen one whole episode since it has!!! WHY? cause PBS fucked me and now put sesame street on at 5:30 instead of 6!!!

then game show network screwed me by taking off the whole family feud-match game block they had going. so from 6:30-7, sucks!!! unless i want to watch barney.

jeopardy- i miss ken!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! when are these college tounaments going to be over??????

enough?? ok! and it is only wednesday.....and i still have stuff on the dvr to watch!

~11-18-04~ My pretty roof

well i haven't really been out to see it all yet, but i did look out clay's door, and it looks soooo nice!

i am a LIAR! clay and i BOTH took naps today!!!!! right after i put him down, they quieted down and were eating lunch........for about 10 minutes. so i figured i myself, would lay down, and like i said, 10 minutes later i am startled from almost sleep, to scrape, scrape right outside my window, and my window was open. i was like, fuck! i will never be able to sleep through this, plus it is weird to know that someone is right outside your window! it wouldn't have been half bad if i could be nosey and evesdrop on what they were saying, but like i said, they don't speak english! so i tried to wait til it sounded like he wasn't right in front of the window, and i reached around the curtain and closed the window. shortly after i was asleep. mind you the whole time i was asleep i dreamt that i was having my roof done. it was kind of weird cause, they kept coming in through the bedroom window! and why the hell were they in my house anyways?!?! weird dream! but at least we slept!!

they are pretty much all done. they still have to clean up and finish up some small things, but those guys jammed!!!! i woke up about 3:45 and they were just leaving. so from 8-3:45, they rock!!

i actually paked up some of clay's toys to store. not as many as i should have i'm sure! i also rearangd his playroom. i had to et rid of some toys to make room. i'm sure i'm going to have to do it all over again after christmas. at least then this wicer furniture i have in there will be gone, so that will give us some space.

i'm beat.....i'm off to sleep (hopefully!) night.

~11-17-04~ Sigh

well, it is almost nap time and i don't think it is going to happen.

OF COURSE right now they are banging away on the garage roof, which is right beside and practically connected to clay's room. he has a little door in his room that leads out to a little stoop on the garage roof. and also, the air compressor for the nail gun is right underneath his window!!!!!!!!

i was going to ask them if they were going to be taking a lunch, and at what time, but guess what?! none of them speak english!!!!!!!!!!!!! well the main guy does, but he isn't here.

i turned the fan in clay's room on high to block out some noise, but i don't know if it is going to work. i'll give it a shot though. what i do know is that i sure won't be able to sleep with all this racket!!

bob called earlier to see if they started on the roof. then he started talking like nothing at all happened last night. i hate, hate, HATE when guys do this!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

then he had the nerve to say he loved me before he hung up. um, ok, yet last night you said if it wasn't for clay he would have no problem in me leaving.......and i think he even did say that he didn't love me at some point. a lot of our arguments i tune him out before i start blurting out stuff i don't mean....or stuff i kind of mean, but know will hurt his feelings.

i'm thinking of ditching the whole cookie exchage idea, even though i really, really want to do it. there is just so much that needs to be done around here, and i just can't rely on him to help me. i need to decide though, if i am i really need to get the invitations out by the end of the week.

another note, this shit with bob always happens at this time of year. and around christmas!!! i don't get it!!

~11-17-04~ Up on the rooftop reindeer's paws....

well these reindeer's must weigh about 200+ pounds!!!!!!!!!!!

actually they have started my roof. yea!!!! you know i want to go out and watch, but i know clay will just be trying to get into everything, and i don't need him stepping on a nail or getting hit by falling debris. maybe after they get it all tore off we will go out.

well, probably not, cause i will just get pissed. myyard looks like white trash hell!!! then to top it all off, i told bob to move clay's toys from out on the patio, so they wouldn't get roof shit all over them. did he?!?!?! i'm sure you can all guess.......... NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO. well surprise, surprise!!!! sure doesn't fucking surprise me!!! since he is a worthless fool!!!!

yes, we aren't getting along. truthfully i don't even see us getting along anymore. he will probably read this and get even more pissed, but ya know what, i don't really care!!!! apparently it doesn't work when i try to talk to him, so maybe reading everything will work.......doubt it!!!

the thing that sucks is that he is such a great person........or he used to be. i really can't see myself being happy with anyone else, but i'm NOT happy now!!! if it were just me in the situation i could maybe deal with it, but it is CLAY and i, and CLAY is the most important.

we got into it last night and he is yelling at the top of his lungs. mind you my child's room is right across the hall, and he is a light sleeper. i told him a dozen times to be quite so you don't wake up clay!!! but he is a selfish bastard so he keeps yelling. which he was yelling cause i told him that he doesn't do as much with and for clay that he could. so he yells.........which totally proved my point!!!!!!!!!!!!!! why scream and chance waking your poor innocent child up from his sleep?!?!?!? think of someone else other than yourself and your fucking poker game, ok?!?!?!

which is another point. all he does, if he isn't working is play fucking poker online. which is fine. i'm on here alot..........but not for hours straight!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! the other night, he never went to sleep, he was up playing, yet i had to get up to get clay when he woke up. um, excuse me, but if he was already up, and he is clay's father, why didn't he get up and get him?!?!?!?!

and if he is not going to get clay, and he is up, go fucking do something around this house that needs done, like fucking leaves, of the fucking pool!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

the other day, he was great........he got up with clay and let me sleep in for a bit. he came up around 10 to get me up, got upset that i wasn't straight up and out of bed (unlike the 20 times it takes when i try to get him up out of bed). so i get up, do my thing and go down. he goes up to bed. about an hour and half later i come upstairs..........he is on the fucking computer, playing the fucking poker!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! so WHY was it so important that i get up?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?

or he will say that he is going up to smoke a cigarette. he won't come down for an hour! i have to scream at him to get downstairs so i can go up and get clay's bed ready to sleep. the other day he went up, and when he finally came back down he asked if dinner was ready. i told him it was ready before he went up!!!! then he asked if i already ate. well hell yes!!!! i wasn't about to wait an hour or god knows how long to eat. i'm glad it was cold, and i didn't even offer to heat it up! WTF!!!!! how about spending some time with your family!!! i'm not even concerned with me anymore, but spend some time with your son!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! you are home, you aren't working, you aren't doing any "man" job around the house, so play with your son!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! is that so wrong to me to ask or want?!?!?!? and then you get pissed when i say that you don't do as much as you could with and for him?!?!?!

how is he going to learn to be a good man, a good husband, and a good father if he has bob as example?!?! that is the point i am trying to get through to him!!!!!!!!!!!!! but for some reason he ain't getting it!!! YES he works, and he gets as much overtime as he can and that is wonderful, some men don't even do that, but THAT IS ALL HE DOES!!!!!!!!!!! and, granted he didn't really have a father growing up (his real dad died when he was 5), but i know what a good person he is. i know the kind of love he has in him..........so what the hell?!?!?!?

and if it were up to him, we would already have another?!?!?!? we had sex the other day, and if i am pregnant, i'm going to kill him, cause i cannot do this anymore!!!!!

ok, i think people are about to fall through the ceiling onto me!!!!!!! god!!!!!!!!!! something just fell off my bookshelf!!!!!!!!!! and my windows are rattling like crazy!!!

i think they are almost done ripping it off. especially since they are over me right now, and they started on the far side. they have been up there for about an hour now. i wanted to have some before and after pictures, but of course i am lazy, so it didn't happen. the big difference will be with the siding and new windows. i will DEFINITELY have pictures of that!

well since i don't have hours to spend on the computer i'll get off here and go take care of my child, like a normal loving, caring, responsible adult!!!

~11-16-04~ WHY can i NOT sleep?!?!?!

this is getting ridiculous!!!!

once again i fell asleep for a wee bit before coming up to bed. but i did good last night. i didn't get on the computer or anything! i went straight to bed!! i swear i was in bed before 1:30am!!!! AND COULDN'T SLEEP!!!!

so i got up various times smoked, surfed the net. i still didn't get to sleep til probably around 6am!!!! and i DIDN'T even nap yesterday!!!!!!!!!! so apparently that isn't the problem.

the main deal last night, was that i got it in my head to have a christmas cookie exchange. i don't know why i come up with this stuff last minute. so i was going over all the details, and guest lists in my head. then i was going over cleaning each room, then decorating each room, then outside....this is how my brain works....goies from one thing to the next.............and going, and going, and going, and going.

so i got up, AGAIN, and i made the guest list, made the appetizer menu, sort of figured how many cookies everyone should bring.........still didn't work. i was still up tossing and brain turning afterwards.

it may be due to, on top of the exchange, i think i wasnt to have a christmas eve thing here at my house this year. so i was thinking about the menu for that, who was going to be invited, WHERE would i sit everyone......and on, and on, and on.............so i even got up and wrote all that down. thinking that way it would clear my mind of everything since it all looked good on paper. NOPE!

AGH!!!!!! and as you can probably see from my little weather pixie on the right, it is RAINING. you know what that means.............no men running around on my roof today! which i guess is all for the best since i didn't sleep, so we BOTH will be taking a nap today. except that is i am really comminted to this cookie exchange, i need to get the invites out NOW.

i was originally going to have it on the 18th, which still gave me a tad bit of time, but then i thought that the weekend before christmas probably wouldn't be too good of an idea, really any weekend--unless i hurry and get the invites out. so, i opted for the 11th. i just don't know about having my house presentable by then. i thought of inviting some family who has never been here.......what if they want to see ALL of my house?! the rooms upstairs in my house, aside from clay's is in NO WAY appropriate for anyone, not even myself. i know i can't really count on bob to help get anything done (remember leaves still in yard, pool still visible). so i just don't know if i can pull it off. and i also would like to have the house nice and christmas-y.

which leads to another idea i had. originally i was going to put up our tree and what-not the day after thanksgiving. well then i got it in my head, that it would be a cool surprise for clay to come down on christmas morning with a nice bright tree with presents under. how cool would that be to a kid who has never seen one?! yes, i haven't had one in a few years!!!!! but then i thought if we have company on christmas eve, i would like it up then. then i figured we could surprise him with it christmas eve morning!! so i am thinking that will be the plan. plus that way i don't have to fight with him for a whole month to NOT TOUCH THE TREE! or the inevitable, GET AWAY FROM THE TREE!!!! so i think christmas eve morning it is!

well i should get off of here and do something productive, like get my cookie invites printed...of course i am running low on ink, so i probably won't get that accomplished today either!

UGH!!! the things i get myself into, i'll tell ya!!

~11-15-04~ More christmas stuff

i have decided to get my mother and myself THIS spa package for christmas.

for myself though, since i have to be difficult, i want to skip the massage, i don't like being rubbed on, and skip the manicure, since i have fake nails, and pay a little extra and get the 1 hr. pedicure and a haircut.

i may also for-go the make-up. if i'm getting facial and my skin is all nice and pretty and clean, i don't want to glob it up with makeup!! except since my hair will be getting cut and styled by a professional, hopefully, for a change, i may want to look good with the makeup as well. decisions, decisions!

i'm sooooooooo excited!!!!! i think it is my favorite gift and i am buying it for myself!!

as you can see i skipped my nap today. i'm thinking that may be a reason i can't sleep at night. i got like NO sleep last night. it may also be a mistake. they may begin on my roof tomorrow, which means with all the pounding, i don't know if i will be able to get clay down for his nap, and if i have to deal with a sleepy child, i may need to get all the rest i can now! hopefully he will take a nap tomorrow though. fingers crossed, and fingers crossed that they actually do start the roof tomorrow!! i want my house done damn it!!!

we asked about the siding, which originally was supposed to be done the 2nd or 3rd week of november, now he said it will be done before christmas! WHAT?!?! so now i am NOT going to go all out and spend money on decorations for the outside, cause my luck it will not be done by christmas and it will be a waste. i'm not planning on being here next christmas, so i'm just going to skip getting any decorations yet. i can't wait to see my pretty house!

it is going to be so nice to live in a pretty house for a change. one that actually looks like it is new and taken care of. except for all the leaves that are blanketing my yard, STILL........and the swimming pool that is strewn across my backyard, STILL!!!!!!! don't even get me started on all of that.

'm getting sleepy now. maybe i will rest my eyes for a bit til clay wakes up. see ya!

~11-15-04~ Weekend movies

mom and i watched connie and carla. it was ok, a few laughs.

then bob and i watched shrek 2. are him and i the only ones disappointed with that movie?!!!!? with all the hoopla about it, i was expecting a 100 times better movie than the first. hell, not even close!!!!!!

i love, love, love the first shrek. i bought the dvd, i have seen it many, many, many times, and i'd love to see it again. this 2nd one, i don't care if i do see it again and definitely won't be buying it. don't get me wrong the animation/effects were INCREDIBLE, but i didn't find the story very funny, amusing or entertaining. we had a few laughs here and there, but they were sort of more smiles, than actual belly laughs (which 1 is filled with!)

so i guess both movies i am going to give 3 out of 5 stars. very disappointed with both!!!

~11-11-04~ Now i am really pissed!!

so i go downstairs today, you know, to get clay his breakfast and wait for the cable guy, and what do i see?!?!?!

my other fucking silver dollar floating upside down in the tank!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! and YES, he IS STILL ALIVE for the moment!!! what the fuck?!?!?!?! so now i don't think it was the whole water change thing, i think it is the medicine that i have been putting in for another fish, a medicine that is supposed to be safe for all fish!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! bob said he is "disposing" of this one before he goes to work, this time.

so now i am very, very, very pissed off. so pissed off in fact, that i may have to go to petsmart and start some shit and demand some money for my fish, also for mental distress!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

i wish i could also sue the cable company for that as well!!! i just had to give up my broken dvr, with ALL MY SHOWS on it!!! well i hope this one works, for longer than a few weeks!!!!

~11-10-04~ Update on the updates

well, the dvr still isn't cooperating. after totally unplugging it, then restarting it, it will work for a while, before totally freezing up again. pain in my ass!!! thank god those people are coming tomorrow! but now i have to go fight with it and try to watch everything i have on it before 10-2 tomorrow!!!!

secondly, that damn fish is still alive!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i am afraid i will have to take action when bob gets home. it is breaking my heart to see it suffering. i checked in on it, and now in the other tank, it is laying on the bottom being eaten ALIVE by snails!!!! after getting the snails off and trying to right him, i checked on him again to find him again on the bottom, this time with the algea eater sneaking up on him. so i shooed him away and again tried to get him upright against the wall and the plants. i don't know if it has worked, it pains me to go in there and see him!!! my mom said i was being selfish and letting him suffer, i should just flush him!!! AGH!!! i don't even know if he would fit down the toilet it is a pretty big fish! if he is still alive when bob gets home, i may have to do the freezer thing, or should i say he will have to do the freezer thing. god this is awful!!!

quit laughing at me!!!!!!!!!!

heck, i need to get off here and go fight with my cable box, i have MUCH stuff to get watched!!!

~11-10-04~ Updates

i unplugged my dvr during our nap, it works now, but i am leary of it, so i will still be taping everything i can on the vcr as well as the dvr. i am still going tohave them come out tomorrow, and give me a new box.

as for the fish, it is still alive!! so as i was watching my soap from yesterday i see the other fish attacking it!!!!!!!!!! so i call bob freaking out, like what is he going to do, he is at work!! so then i had to go get it out myself and put it in another tank! sigh!!!! i hate this shit!!!!

i got the packages i was expecting. some stuff for me :) i really want the damn basket for the bathroom, i am tired of magazines being all over the floor.

i forgot to tell you in the last post, that they are supposed to start my roof. hopefully friday. he said should only take a day or a day and a half. i'm excited, except for the fact that clay probablywon't take a nap that day.

i also forgot to bitch the other day that bob got called for jury duty. maybe i did bitch, who knows. he has to call friday to see if he has to go monday. his number is like 230 something. hopefully he won't have to go, but i do think he still gets paid through work, i have to look it up in his handbook. if not, i sure hope he doesn't go, especially if he gets picked for a trial. it is bad enough he is going to be off all thanksgiving week, i don't need another week without a full pay!! he is supposed to work over friday, and they are workig saturday, so that will be some extra money, that is good. thank goodness, i need some good news! :)

that is all for now, have to go check on my child. mom is coming over for dinner, i made bean soup yesterday as well. YUMMMMM!!!!!!!

~11-10-04~ Technology sucks, except for turkey.

well i don't know if ground turkey could actually be considered technology, but i love me some ground turkey!!!! i'm really diggin' it lately. last night i made turkey burgers, plus a meatloaf, or should i say turkey loaf. loved it!!!

anyways, on to my hatin'........my dvr box crapped out last night! it says something is wrong with the hard drive. i haven't even had the thing a month yet, have i?!?!?! and now everything, EVERYTHING i had saved to watch is probably gone!!!!! i am sooooooo pissed off. i had a ton of stuff on there to watch!!! extreme makeover from sunday, and the biggest loser from last night, not to mention my soaps, and what not. god, i am so pissed off!!!!

then for some reason i cannot send or receive pictures on my cell phone! i just found this out on electionnight when i was trying to send bob updates from the tv. i finally called last night and after a bunch of trying shit, she siad there were techinical problems in my area for almost 2 weeks now, they should be resolved soon. WTF?!?! so she gave me 50 extra minutes. 50 extra minutes?!?! i don't even go over my minutes!!!! it was late and my mind was a bit fried from previously paying bills, so i didn't say, screw the minutes credit my account for the $2.99 x 2 phones that i'm being charged for the month!! i may call later and say that.

BULLSHIT!! it is all bullshit! all this technology crap stinks!!!!

to make my day even better, one of my fish is dying!! and we just cleaned the tank the other day! what is it so used to living in disgusting water, that as soon as it gets nice fresh, clean water, it dies?! i don't even know why i have animals! and then my fish just don't die. they hang on and on and on and on, and i have to sit and watch it suffer, and i get all stressed out!!! NO i can't just flush the poor thing!!!!!!! once when i lived by myself i had a little cat fish thing and he was just a mess. he would just lay cockeyed on the bottom of the tank, breathing all heavy, then he got some slime build up all covering him. it was so awful. i finally called the pet store to see what i could do, and she gave me the option of flushing and all that, and i couldn't! so she then said i could put him in a cup or something of water and put him in the freezer. this way as his temerature dropped he would basically just fall asleep, then freeze and die. well, that was just awful!! after a big long cry session with my mother, and her yelling at me about even having any kind of animals, knowing how i get, i got up the nerve to do it. and it was awful. i was a blubbering mess!!!!!!!!!!! add that as another thing good about having a boyfriend/husband. they get to do the dirty work like that.

so anyways, i was hoping this fish would die before bob leaves for work today. but he is just floating there, still alive. so he will probably be dead when i get up from my nap, after bob is gone, and i will have to sit there and see him floating the whole night!!!!

let's move on to nice thoughts and pleasant things.....i'm supposed to be getting packages today!! yay!!!!! hopefully i won't need to sign for them, since it is almost nap time, so i sure won't be up to hear the door. that is the only bad thing about the cigarette shipment, an adult has to sign for them to be left. and ups takes forever to deliver shit to me. i must be the final and last stop on their route. the last shipment i got, it left ups at like 4am, out for delivery, and of course came while i was asleep. the only good thing about rescheduled delivery, is that they leave an actual time frame as to when it will be delivered....they should do that in the first place and would save a second trip! but i guess that would be too easy.

another bitch, that track and confirm shit through the post office is a bunch of crap. i had a few things delivered with that, and the tracking is shit. it doesn't even tell you anything. and according to that my package was god knows where still, yet i got it that day. why even nother, if it isn't going to tell you squat?!

i'm in a mood can you tell? i'm poor from paying bills, my cable box is fucked, which means my shows are gone, my fish is dying!!!!!!!!!!! AHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!

it's a good thing clay is so darn cute! just looking at him, can make all my troubles and anger go away! thank god for my little guy!!!!!

~11-8-04~ Clay's Christmas Pictures

they wouldn't let us buy the other pics at coupon price. fuckers!!! they said they would be $12.99. i wish i were there so i could have told them a thing or 2, but i wasn't so anyways........

here they are:

i don't know how this one will turn out, i tried to scan the 8x10, but i can't get that to open, it says i need more memory.....so i scanned the locket picture, i'm still working on the other. 

my favorite 

chair 

clay & grandma 

santa 

snowflake 

~11-8-04~ Get ready!!!

we get clay's christmas picture's today!!! i can't wait, they looked so cute!!!!!!

so get ready for some pictures!!

~11-8-04~ AWAKE!!!

well as you can see, i can't sleep! like i don't have enough trouble, i fell asleep during bob's game, so i slept for at leat 2 hours and woke up about midnight!!!

i tossed and turned for the last hour and a half, so i got up to smoke a cigarette. which reminded me i needed to order cigarettes, so i did that as well. i still have at least a carton left from our last order, but bob is out. and as usual, he didn't tell me, so we had to buy some atthe store today which pissed me off. i love the deal i get online, and i even found out you can have automatic shipments!!! so now i don't have to remember, i scheduled them to be delivered the same time every month! the thing that sucks is that we spend almost $200 a month on cigarettes!! yes i know that should be incentive enough to quit, but alass, they are the only things keeping me sane right now, so not yet! maybe next year if we do decide to have another baby.

i hope you all had a nice weekend. i had a nice saturday. i slept like ALL day! ohhhhhhhhhhhhh, it was so nice!!!!!! bob took clay to go visit his mom, she just got out of the hospital. so i got up when they returned, so i could put him down for his nap, then i went right back to bed myself! how i miss the days i could spend all day in bed if i wanted!!!!

today i spent way too much money!! we went to bj's for diapers and stuff, and spent damn near $200!!!! then went to giant eagle and spent another $100!!!!!!! whatthe hell?!?!? i no longer thing bj's is all its cracked up tp be. i just know i can go to walmart and spend $200 and hav almost 2 carts FULL!!!!! not at bj's or giant eagle (i did have a full cart at GE, but it was one of those small car carts). it wouldn't have been bad, but i had to use the credit card, which killed me!! but bob's check was rather pee-pee, he only worked 3 days one week of it. not to mention i was getting really used to his 12 day pay checks, plus a bunch of overtime.....hasn't happened lately! sigh! then he will be off the week of thanksgiving, so there is a whole week of NO pay, just holiday pay. SUCKS!!! just when i get a good jump on bills, this shit happens!! thank god i have already done the major part of christmas shopping!

speaking of which, most of the stuff i orderd from one of my catalogs is all on back order!!!!!!! i'm pissed!!! i thought i was all done with everything, but now i don't know!!! i may just cancell that stuff and go with something different. i'm real pissed cause one of it is the garland i ordered for christmas decoration. i was hoping to decorate the day after thanksgiving (if my house is done by then!!), but it isn't even supposed to be in til the 5th of december. hells, bells!!

well i am done smoking, i need to get some sleep!!!

be back later!

~11-5-04~ Finally some good things.

i'm not going to bitch like i want to, trust me, i will be upset for the next 4 years!! so on to good things.....

WOO-HOOO!!!!!!! my new pots and pans (is there another name for these??) are supposed to be here tomorrow!!!!! first it was the 10th, then 8th, and i just checked the ups tracking and it said the 5th. i am sooooooooooooooo excited!!!!!!

i also finally got molly's present last weekend, i'm supposed to sit for marisa, so i will get to give it to her then, so i can finlly post it. the picture is below, it didn't turn out to well, so HERE is a link to it in the catalog.

in case you are nosey, i'll run through my christmas list . i need a hard copy anyways.......so here it goes:

my mom: pillow (from clay), nothing to link to yet. i'm going to get us a say at the spa. i'm sure she will get a kick out of it. i link to that in a bit, i have to go over their packages. HERE and HERE and HERE are a few other things i may consider as well.

grandpa: golf keychain and massager.

aunt jane: massager and table runner (twilight cottage).

aunt con: some ivy kitchen accents and ivy mirror.

raeann: pillow and probably a gift certificate to something

samatha: purse (i got these to use as gift bags), bracelet/necklace and $20 gift cert. to toys r us.

dominic: $40 girft cert. to best buy.

marisa: she needs a new diaper bag, so i got this bag (pastel carry all). i get some good filler for it somewhere.

Bob's mom: throw and bird plates.

Bob's dad: pillow and clock.

Bob's sister: doll.

Bob's neice, samatha: purse, bracelet, and something from bath and body for filler.

Bob's neice, Stephanie: purse, bracelet/necklace, and something from bath and body.

Bob's nephew: clock and belt buckle.

of course i got some stuff for myself in there too: garland and wreath. i got this sink liner, bathroom basket, sink shelf and also a smokeless ashtray.

for clay i got: fish measuring tape and stocking holder (santa).

but i did good, and didn't go nuts! some stuff are decorations for christmas, and some things are for clay. so not really FOR me.

i forgot i also got this frame, one for me (my dad) and one for my grandpa (for my grandma). now that i think about it though, i think it may upset him, so i may not give it to him. i may just give it to my mom.

i also got this frame for my mom. now i just have to get a good picture of my mother and me.

i talked to bob and told him about us just getting each other stuff for like $20-$30. and we will just go ahead and get the new garage door, so that will be our big gift this year. he agreed.

i also want to send out some love to my hubby. he has got up with clay almost all week. well, not got up, he gets home about the same time clay wakes up. he has been getting him up and feeding him breakfast. gives me an extra hour of so of sleep. it is much needed and MUCH appreciated!!! love ya hunny bunny!!

well, this post took forever with all the posts!!! so i will end for now.

from catalog 

molly's gift 

~11-4-04~ Not much...

to say today. still pretty upset about the events of yesterday.

i'm not even going to go into it all. i just hope that my husband has a job for the next 4 years!

as you can see, it is late. i have been doing my christmas shopping. yes i do about 90% of it online. i have since 1999. i'm usally done about now, so i got on it tonight. so now i am about all done. i didn't do bob yet. i usually get him some cool shit, i forget what last year was. how funny i can't remember!!!! ok, now that is going to drive me insane!!!!!

the year before we got the big screen tv. what in the world could we have got last year. this year i was thinking of doing the same and getting us something big for the house. i am still thinking about the washer and dryer i wrote about before. i just have to see if i can get any bills paid down (notice not off) before then. especially since i just did all my xmas shopping and put it all on credit cards.

hell i just remembered the $1000 that i am going to have to put in the house in the next few weeks when they finally start the work on it. maybe i'll get us the garage door we have been wanting. i feel better about spending the money when it is something that we actually need.

oh well, my head hurts from so much shopping, and my eyes are killing me! speaking of which, they have been really bad lately!! i don't know if it is from the surgery or what! they have felt really, REALLY dry and tired. i thought it may be with the furnace running all the time now and the air being dry. i still have the starburst/halo effect at night time when i look at bright lights. i tried to find a pic to illistrate it, but all i found were MUCH worse that what i experience. that last time i was there, a few months ago, he said that it should go away with time. i was supposed to go back a few weeks ago, but i didn't make it. maybe this month. even if it doesn't get better, i don't know if i want to go through the whole thing again to fix it if it can. i may just deal with it. who knows.

ok, i'm outta here!!

~11-3-04~ Last update.

my eyes are killig me! i'm gong to sleep! larry king, i can tell, also wants to get home since nothing is going to be final tonight.....hell probably for another 2 weeks! provisional counting in ohio can't even start for 11 days, so who knows how long it will take. a lot of states are WAY close, so i'm sure there are going to be few recounts.

this is the final update.

as per CNN.....bush stands at 249, kerry at 242

those left are
nevada-5 (currently for bush by 16,000)
wisconsin-10 (currently for kerry by 19,000)
new mexico-5 (currently for bush by 30,000)
iowa-7 (currently for bush by 12,000*but their final count won't be til tomorrow)
of course ohio-20 (currently bush by 139,000)

yahoo has already gave nevada to bush, and i'm sure new mexico is to follow. as with kerry, i'm sure he is going to take wisconsin.

so i am assuming in the morning the count will be bush, 259....kerry, 252. (**what if kerry took iowa and it ended up 259-259; waiting for ohio! i hope ohio doesn't fuck all of us!!!!!)

now it is up to iowa and ohio.

keep your fingers crossed and say many, many prayers!!!!!!!!!!!!!

~11-3-04~ More waiting!!!!!!!

well now i don't think we are going to find anything out for at least 10 days.

my grand ole state, is too close to call. as of now 98% of the votes in there is only about 100,000 diference in votes. the secretary of state said there could be as many as 250,000 provisional (what are these???) and military votes out.

so CNN actually even called it too close to call. so i don't think they are officially going to call it tonight. so things are still a maybe for kerry.

even if they don't call ohio tonight, bush still can't get the votes he needs to go over 270. at least not as right now.

the only states left are:
michigan-17 (currently kerry)
wisconsin-10(currently kerry)
iowa-7(currently bush)
nevada-5(currently kerry)
new mexico-5(currently bush)
hawaii-4(currently kerry)

so without ohio, if the above stays true, it ends up bush:261 kerry:257

****breaking news**** iowa has some some problems and they are not going to be able to continue counting and reporting votes.

so it does look like we are still not going to know who our president is for a few days now.

god i hate waiting!!!!!!! well if it means kerry can still win, i guess i will wait as long as it takes!!!!!

~11-3-04~ Me again

i forgot new hampshire. i didn't see their little ass up there.

so as of now, if we get NH, MI, WI, MN, IA, NV, and OR(which we are ahead in right now) we will have 259 to bush's 257 (if he takes ohio)

that only leaves CO with 9 votes 9(bush ahead)
NM with 5 votes (bush ahead)
Maine with 1 vote
HI with 4 votes
AK with 3 votes

well hell, they just gave the 9 CO votes to bush. so let me re-work this and get back to ya........

ok, so now bush has 266 (if he takes ohio) to kerry's 259 (if he takes all above)

so those left are:

maine-1
new mexico-5
hawaii-4
alaska-3

oh this sucks!!!!! all bush needs is new mexico and he is already ahead there.

if i am wrong someone PLEASE tell me. PLEASE tell me i am wrong!!!!

~11-3-04~ Not giving up hope

well, my numbers aren't looking too good!!!!!!!

hopefully these damn states will step up!!!!

come on ohio!!! come on MI, WI, MN, IA, NV, OR, HI, AK,.....hell even CO and NM!!!!!!

if we do not get ohio, we definitely need ALL those mentioned above!!!!

as a matter of fact, and hoping my math is wrong, even if we get all the above, we STILL need to have ohio, or it still doesn't put us ahead!!!!!!

~11-2-04~ CRAZY!!!

is anyone else going crazy?!?! i hate this anticipation! i also hate that every damn channel has a different electoral vote number!!!!

i am sooooooooo boycotting abc news, they have bush 237, kerry 188. that is the highest i have seen so far, but no other station has that. rght now fox news channel has bush 210, kerry 144.

my favorite is yahoo, they have bush 210, kerry 199. that is my favorite so far!

COME ON OHIO!!!!! WHAT THE FUCK IS YOUR PROBLEM?!?!?!?! how in the hell can all these ohioans vote for bush?!?!?!

so i am stressed right now. don't even get me started on the freakin issue 1!!!!!!!!

be back in a bit.

~11-2-04~ GO VOTE!!

i'm off in a few minutes to go vote. like everything else i was going to "do it later", but i was afraid that everything else i want to "do it later" never gets done, and this is VERY important!!

so i got up and dressed, bob is getting clay dressed and we are off to the polls.

my lovely child slept til 8, and i was in bed, lights off by 2:15. now if bob's damn alarm didn't go off at 5:45am, it would have been great! you should have seen me fighting with a god damned clock!! first i couldn't find it, then i couldn't figure how to shut it off. finally i unplugged the fucker...or so i thought about 5 min later it was at it again. i almost threw the thing out of the window after i finally DID unplug it! it is always something that screws up my sleep!!! damn him!!!!

well my PSA for the day, go out and vote! don't put stuff off like i do, or it won't get done....then our whole country (world) could be in trouble. get up, and get out.... go vote!!!!!!

~11-2-04~ Tired!

god i am tired!!!

i SWEAR that i am going to sleep shortly! if this 7am-ish shit is going to continue, i really need to get some sleep. so i AM going to be in bed, lights and tv off by 2!!!!!

i was actually going to try and start doing some sort of exercise today, but clay's waking time and his following torture made that a no go. actually dvr'd some stuff off of fit tv channel. i thought i would check it out and i could do that during the day. i taped a few half hour programs that sounded ok, and one hour of some cardio show. i haven't watched any of them, so i don't even know if it is something i can do or not, but i am planning on it. i have to do something!!!! i really need to get this extra weight off, it is driving me insane when i am trying to find something cute to put on and nothing looks cute!!!!!

maybe it will also give me some energy or motivation. i need to clean the hell out of this house. it is getting more disgusting by the minute. i don't think i can bear it much longer!! i may be forced to just burn the whole thing down!!!! i definitely want the inside to be perfect by the time the outside is done. i won't hold my breath, but that is the plan.

i can't believe it is november already!!! that is just crazy!

did you all watch fear factor tonight? i finally seen a stunt that i don't think i could do. i always said i would go for the bugs crawling on me and stuff instead of eating something nasty, but the whole head in the box of spiders well that just freaked my shit out! now if they were just the big ole trantula's it wouldn't be that bad, but they were the skiny, fast, house looking spiders, and i don't think i could deal with them crawling on my face!! so that gave me the willies! i'm just glad those brothers didn't win. they got on my last nerve!

the swan wasn't as fasinating as last week. i don't think the deaf girl should have beatthe other one. i sill don't think she looked pretty. i think she looked freaky!!! i hated her hair!!! i hated her nose! and i hated her teeth! i think she looked awful. the other one i thought looked GREAT! she looked 20 years younger!! and pretty!!!

it SUCKS that NOTHING is on tomorrow. i hate tuesday tv anyways, so guess it is no big deal. hopefully something is on cable.

and to nswer a prevous question in one of my posts.........NBC cancelled last comic standing when there was only one show left!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! what the fuck?!?!?!?!?! i searched the net and i found out the did air a half hour finale on the comedy channel. and alfonzo won. dave, who i wanted to win, came in second. well that sucked!!

well i am outta here....gotta do some things before i go to sleep!! night!

~11-1-04~ Wonderful day... NOT!

i don't know what is up with my child!! he was up before 7:30, fucking time change!!!! that isn't the bad part.

he is being sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo bad!!!!! of course i got like no sleep, so i ant to veg out on the couch, well, that is probably why, but he is into everything!!!!! everything he isn't supposed to be into. then he is throwing everything, dumping everything, slamming everything. it is taking everything i have not to pick him up and shake him!!!!!

i actually yelled so hard it hurt my throat! idon't know why i bother though, it doesn't faze him, he just thinks it is funny, or gets mad and does more what he just got in trouble for. AGH!!!!!

i just sat his butt down for lunch, he is about to be in bed early for his nap, cause i cannot take anymore!

then i was thinking he wasn't feeling good. he has pooped like 3 times already today!!! it doesn't look bad or anything, but it sure doesn't smell good, not that it ever does. but he never poops that much!!

maybe i will just chalk it up to that. he never acts like this!!

well he is down there whinning, which probably means he threw his tray off his high chair and now i have to pick pears and graham crackers up off the floor.....sigh!

nap time here i come!!!!!!

~11-1-04~ HAHAHAHAHAHAHA

so i was flipping thru blogger, came upon this site, then to THIS!!! how freakin funny, yeah gross too, but hilarious!! i don't know if it is really true, but i sure had a good visual and was laughing my ass off, no pun intended!!! hahahahahahahaha!!!!!

this would be great to let guys read, especially those who are trying to request the above!!!!

~11-1-04~ Fall back.

like usual, this time change is kicking my ass!!!!! at first my ass was all happy thinking i could put clay to be now t 8 instead of 9! YEAH!!!!! then i got to thinking, well since he usually gets up about 8:30, well now that means he will be up at 7:30 WHAT THE FUCK!!!!!! that sucks!!!!!

of ourse it could all be remidied by me going to bed at a normal time, yeah, whatever..........

anyways, friday we finally went and checked out the new walmart. we even got a front row parking spot. which sucks!!!!! after we load up the car, we usually stand out and have a cigarette. well picture us trying to pack up all our groceries REALLY SLOW, cause some dmn woman was sitting there waiting for our spot thesecond we got to the car!! so bob is piddle pissing around, i am trying desperately to look as if i am actaully doing something, finally i tell bob to fuck it and just put the groceries away, cause i felt stupid. i know i would have been pissed if i was that person, but then again, i sure as hell wouldn't have sat there for that whole time to get a damn parking space!!!!! i am not one of those people, like my mother, who drives around 850 times trying to find a close spot, then rush to where people are headed, then sit there and wait. maybe if it was like 0 degrees out, but then again, i don't go outside when it is that cold, so i still wouldn't be doing that! so screw it, no more close spots for us.

the store wasn't bad. i thought it would be swamped with people, but it wasn't bad at all. except the cashier lady who didn't know what the fuck she was doing, but i won't go there. so i was all happy shopping, and once again, it finally hit me.....why do i shop anywhere else?!?!? the prices there are soooooooo good!!!! except on whole milk. they sure make up for all the other milk being $1.99, since whole milk is like $2.99!!!! which really isn't that bad either, at giant eagle i think milk starts at like $3.29!!!! gas was a super great price too, $1.81, compared to the $1.89 everywhere else. but we forgot about getting it. i'm not used to walmart having a gas station.

i didn't do too bad, barely over $100, which is good for me!!! especially since i had almost 2 carts going.

that night bob went to get some movies since we only had jersey girl left to watch, like usual we forgot to send our netflix back, so he had to go rent some. and what the hell does he come back with?!?!?!?! jasper, texas and the passion!!! what the hell?!?!?!?!? he knew, KNEW i did not want to see the passion. i can't bear to watch stuff like that. and jasper, texas, it is about that man who was dragged to death a few years back, once again, he knows i don't like watching true life stuff like that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

so i left it up to him what we were going to watch first. we watched the texas one. it wasn't a bad movie, i just cannot for the life of me understand how people can treat other human beings like that!!! especially if they didn't even do anything to deserve it!!!!! i give it 3 out of 5 stars.

then we watched jersey girl. it was cute. i liked the dvd extras best. i didn't know that silent bob was the director, producer, whatever he was. he is too funny! he was in and also directed/produced(?) one of my favorite movies, dogma. funny, funny. it gets 4 out of 5 stars, cause of the extras.

saturday i scrapped the pumpkin patch idea. my cousin went and it sounded kind of expensive. i also wanted clay to get some use out of his costume, and be with other people/kids, so i decided to go to that party that bob was invited to. i also used it so HE could experience FIRST HAND why i want him to be with me at parties or what not, and not have to "deal" with clay by myself. he sure found out!!!!!!! the people's house where the party was was a huge farm type place. so there was MUCH, MUCH space for clay to be off and running to, and that he was!!!!! we only almost got in a fight once, and clay only threw a fit a few times, so it really wasn't that bad of a night. i was just jealous of the land. i want land like that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! out in the middle of nowhere! no sirens!!! no traffic!!! no loud neighbors!!!! and a pond! i would love a pond! i would rather have a pond than a pool! i love me some fishing! who wants swimming, when you can have fishing!!!! i didn't even get to see the people's house. i am sure it was nice, but i just loved the area, and the land!!!!!

so that night he brought up our remaining movie, the passion. i was really hoping he would forget about it. he didn't! all i can say is what an awful movie!!!! not that it was made bad, or a bad movie. it was just so sad and depressing. i actually don't know if i cried more at any other movie made!!!!!! i was bawling for probably a half hour straight and i wasn't even watching what was happening!!!!! i could not bear to see most of it, which was actually the whole movie. i mean the man, jesus, was getting beat the whole entire movie!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i didn't think it was ever going to end!! in a way i was finally relieved for him once he was up on the cross!!! once again, how in the hell do people treat people that way?!?!?!

i think you would get more out of it, if you actually KNOW your bible stuff. a lot of the time i had no clue who was who, what importance someone was, or why stuff was happening. of course i about got in a fight with my mom discussing it today. there is a lot of stuff i don't believe in (i'm not getting into it), and a ton of questions i have (which you are not supposed to question) so basically the movie just made me mad. it was awful, half the time i am sitting there hoping that something would happen, and then i'd be like duh!!! you know what happens, noone can jump in and save jesus!!! the worst part, that hit me the hardest was when mary had to sit and watch that happening to her son! my heart was being ripped from my chest!! i am crying as i write this!!! when it showed he running to him, as she flashed back to when he was a child and got hurt and her running to him. oh my!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! how incredibliy heart wrenching it would be to see that happening to your child!!!! it was just very sad, sad movie...on so many levels! i guess i have to give it a 5 out of 5 stars, it accomplished what it was meant, and it really did get to you!!! i don't know if bob cried or not, he better have, he cried during jersey girl!!!!! during the part i mentioned about about mary, i was crying, sobbing, out loud....that is how bad it hit me.

wow, that was an emotional entry there!!! whew!!!!

after that was over, most of the stations were all screwed up casue of the time change, but i found the lost boys! and after the heavy and deep movie we just watched, i wanted something light and entertaining! and i just loved the lost boys!!!!!!!! or should i say jason patric!!!!! hot, hot, hot!!!!!

so that brings us to today. once again not much happned. since i didn't go to bed til super late, bob got up, or i think, stayed up, when clay got up, at yes, 7:30!!! he came and got me around 9 cause he was falling asleep. my mom called around 11, she got back from her trip the night before and she wanted to stop over and see us. she came and visited for a bit, til it was nap time. i put him down around 1:30, and of course i laid down my own self. i think we all eneded up getting up around 5, or should i say clay got us up around 5.

BORING........i thought there was something today that was at least a little bit writing worthy....what?!??!

i don't know. extreme make over home, was good like usual. i didn't really cry tonight though. also, like usual, the house turned out very nice! i'm excited about the show on tomorrow, where they show behind the scenes of the show and how they get stuff done. next weeks lookes real interesting! and it is 2 hours long!!

desperate housewives still makes you wonder what the hell is going on with that kid and with that mike guy!

OH.........i finally broke down and ordered my christmas or birthday gift. it is HERE. HSN was having a big ultrex sale, and tonight and tonight only you got the special price plus NO SHIPPING fee!!! they even had it on 4 easy pays, so i couldn't pass it up!! i can't wait to get it! unlike some of my other purchases, this one is actually practical, since i really do cook, and cook alot! so i will definitely get use out of them!!

i guess that is it for now!! later!