what the hell blogger???????

well trish, i signed in to leave you a comment and just went to my profile from there, and then it let me on here to post.......

i don't know why i can't just sign in like normal?!

well hell..........i don't even know where i left off with any of you.......

i don't even know if you all know what is going on with me.......if you do you can skip down, if you don't read on, and if you don't care then, well, just don't read it then i guess..........

so we have been trying to get pregnant again forever! 3 years to be exact. it was probably about 4 years ago that i had an ectopic and lost my left tube.........

then august of 2006 i had a miscarriage....i started to see a fertility specialiast in june of this year, then in july i found out i was pregnant.......IN MY DAMN TUBE AGAIN!!!! so i had the shot that disolves it, then in august i had to have a surgery to check my right tube to make sure there was no damage from the ectopic. while there he removed scar tissue from the emergency surgery i had to have from my original ectopic, so i thought all was well.

i was very hopefully when i found out i was going to ovulate on my right in september. but NOT pregnant!!

so now i was started on clomid pills. they stimulate ovulation. so i went today for ANOTHER ultrasound and it looks as if i am going to ovulate on my right, but it is not time yet. i have to go back in 2 days......well my dr isn't down here all the time, they also have an office in akron. so of course all this is happening on the days they aren't down here.........and of course the days they aren't down here they only have morning apts!!

well i have a child in school!!!!! and damn it i don't like driving on the flippin high way, especially all the way to akron, yes, i know it is not far, but i don't care!!!

so i had to make the apt for saturday, in akron................I HAVE TO BE THERE AT 8AM!!!!!!!!!!!!

HELLO.............saturday is the day i get to sleep for my precious hearts content!!!! i soooooooooooo look forward to saturdays!!!!!!! i love bob even more BECAUSE of saturdays!!!!!!!!!!!! those of you who know me will understand all that.......

so i guess i am just here to bitch!!!! this whole trying to have a baby is wearing me down!!! to make it worse it is not like i even have the time to take a break, or take our time!!!!

i am going to be 35 this year!! and worse clay is already 5!!! i did NOT want 5 years between my kids!! i want them to be able to play together and grow up close......and i am afraid that time has already passed!!!

but bob wants another, and clay drew a picture the other day, with daddy, mommy, me (clay, and baby brother!! he want a sibling!!!

part of me wants another one for them, and part of me doesn't. i am an only child. i know the pros of that...............i also know the cons of that.

oh and also on this clomid..........you are supposed to try it like 3 or 4 times before going on to the next "treatment/procedure" which would be artificial insemination. which my insurance doesn't cover by the way.................i just want to do that damn it!!!! i don't want to have to wait 3 or 4 more times, cause for me that is like 6-8 or more tries, cause who know when i am going to ovulate on my right (you normally switch left-right-left-right). i am not a very patient person....i used to be, but i guess having kids and a husband took that away from me!!

so there........i bitched......got it all out!!!

still don't feel better!!!!

hope you all are having a better time of it than me right now!!! take care!!