~11-21-06~ HUH????

well i finally talked to my friend, where bob was the other night, and got the whole story of what went on and i am just dumb founded. well, not really.........

bob became close with her boyfriend. they watch football together on the weekends, and are actally a lot a like in some bad ways, another entry, another day....

anyways, he went over there to watch the ohio state game. at some point somehow amy and her guy, started to get into it. you'd really have to know her to know how escilated arguments can get, again another entry, another time, when i have much time. if she is right or if she is wrong.

so he was drunk, and mistook something she said, and all hell broke loose from there. they were going at it, she hit him, it was a big ole mess, and bob was sticking around trying to keep peace.

that is LONG story very short!!

that is all fine and well. that is one of the things i love about him. he will try to help people out when they need it.

my whole thing is WHY DID YOU NOT CALL HOME AND TELL ME ANY OF THIS???????????????

instead just let my mind go and wonder if you were dead or in jail or something?!?!

then i didn't even get this story from him!!!!!! i haven't even spoken to him until tonight.

when i asked him why he didn't say anything to me, he said that he was emabarrassed and disgusted with himself.

the reason he didn't tell me his reason or excuse is because he had none. there was no reason for what transpired that night.

i guess i got it, but it still seems a bit odd. unless he is taking to heart a lot of stuff that i have said to him recently. i told him sorry was no longer acceptable. he has used it too much so now it has no meaning. so he was being especially nice and attentive tonight, so i don't know........

i am just tired, and the whole thing was just fucking stupid! especially since the people we are talking about are all in our 30's!! what the hell??

yes, i may get bored with my life sometimes, but i do not want any kind of drama like that. thank you god for the boredom!!!!

**an update on the dogs. you would not believe how long it took them to finally go outside!!! they wanted none of it! it was too funny. i doubt that it taught them a lesson, cause 1, they are dogs and 2, they are male, sorry for you guys that that don't apply too, just talking in general here.........

anyways, they did not go out until about 10-11 this evening!

and to mike to answer your question from myspace. the reason i gave them money is cause i think it is WONDERFUL what they do. if i had the space and means i would definitely open a rescue shelter. i cannot even stomach the humane (NOT) society or the pound. i just don't see how they can just get a dog for a week, then his time is up and down it goes. breaks my heart!!! i love that these people go to those awful places and rescue the "death row" pup and kitties.

and to comment to someone from people magazine that wrote(in response to rescue shelters) "instead of providing housing, the shelters should put their energy into spaying and neutering", that is exactly what rescue shelters do! all the ones i have looked into, they will not adopt out a dog or cat unless they have been fixed first!! no exceptions! the non-humane society give you some voucher or credit, but really, i don't half the people follow through, so there is no guarantee they they are getting them fixed.

i got bernie through a rescue shelter. i drove almost an hour away to get him. and it did cost more, to cover expenses that they incur, but i didn't mind. when i was looking for him, it broke my heart to see all the HUNDREDS AND HUNDREDS of animals that needed homes on petfinder.com. and that was just in my little area!!! very sad!! then again i am a softie!


well it is a school day tomorrow, so i need to get to bed. 7am comes WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY toooooooooooooooo early for me!!!!

take care!

~11-20-06~ Lost and found

blogger was down for a bit, so i updated my blog over at myspace.

i hope this link works. http://blog.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=blog.view&friendID=72901847&blogID=195561360&Mytoken=2984B36D-AC10-4585-8CE56807D6BB29B820543807

~11-19-06~ Watch what you bitch about.........

well after all my bitching my dogs are GONE!!!!!!!!! if i bitch about my husband will he be gone too?? i'll try it, one can hope!!!!!!!!!!!

the stupid fucking white one got out, like usual. he was across the street, so i called for him, he actually comes when called, but just as he got to the porch, my cat darted out, then bernie darted out too. once bernie is out he is gone, so the white one just followed!

and i was stuck!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! why you ask???????? because my husband was NOT home. he did NOT come home last night!! real nice, no call, no nothing.......lovely.

i couldn't chase after them, for one i was in my pajamas, and for 2 i had clay, who was also in his pajamas.

so i had to call my mom to come and get clay. then finally at almost noon, bob decides to call...........

how is it his fault, blah, blah, if it was monday and they got out i'd be at work, blah, blah, blah.........well the FACT is, is that it is NOT monday and you are NOT at work, which means you should be at HOME doing your job being a husband and father. but you are NOT!!!!!!!!!!

so i went out driving around, and when he got home he did too. then we just went otu walking and calling. nothing!!!!!!!!!

where the fuck can these dogs be?!?!?!?!?!?

and NO they didn't have collars on and NO they don't have tags.........yes even better no?????????

the cat did come back in, he aparently is smarter than the rest, it is damn cold and raining out!!!!!!!!

where are my dogs?????????????

they may not want to come back, cause if and when they do, kozar's ass is going to be TIED the fuck up from now on and hate it!!! sorry for him. which really not his fault, he is a dog, and he is doing dog things, but christ!!!!

i am sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo sick of taking care of everybody and everything, but not getting the same in return!!!!!!!

a little consideration and respect would be nice!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! from at least one human/animal in this damn house!!!!!!!!!!!!

i am fed the fuck up with all of it!!!!!!!!!!!!

i'll let you know how it goes.........wish me luck!!!!!!!!!

~11-17-06~ Borrowed, not stolen

i stole this from tracey, from myspace

10 firsts.
First real boyfriend/girlfriend: John Burlingame
First plane ride: I was 5, family trip to hawaii
First concert: michael jackson, actually it was the jackson's victory tour
First car: ford exp
First best friend: that i can really remember, molly
First make out kiss: John Burlingame
First big crush: Scot Decker
First music: ?
First stuffed animal: that i remember, an orange dog i named rusty
First Halloween costume: ?

9 last.
Last alcoholic beverage: been a while, probably an alabama slammer
Last kiss: today, a married kiss..those that are married, knows whatthat is
Last phone call: mom
Last cd played: ?? i don't listen much
Last bubble bath: 1999, really!
Last time you cried: a few days ago
Last relationship: still going


8 have you evers.
Have you ever dated one of your best friends: no, but he became my best friend
Have you ever skinny dipped: no
Have you ever kissed somebody and regretted it: yes
Have you ever fallen in love: a few times
Have you ever lost someone you loved: yes
Have you ever been depressed: yes
Have you ever mooned someone: no


7 states you've been to
1. hawaii
2. virginia
3. pennsylvania
4. north carolina
5. maryland
6. ohio of course...stuck here!
7.


6 things you've done today.
1. yelled
2. lost my temper
3. cooked
4. ebay'd
5. blogged
6. went to walmart

5 favorite things (in no order).
1. my son
2. my husband
3. my family
4. sleeping past noon
5. eating

4 people you can tell anything to (in no order).
1. bob
2. molly
3. amy
4. dawna

3 wishes.
1. I wish I could have my dad back
2.I wish I could have my grandma back
3.I wish I could win the lotto

2 things you want to do before you die.
1. be debt free
2. have a happy family

1 thing you regret.
1. i regret not having more "grown up" conversations with my dad. just a lot of stuff i never really thought to talk about at the time, now he is gone and the opportunity is gone.

~11-7-06~ Been a long time.........

hello.....yes it has been quite some time.

it has been busy here. not really, but with a crazy 4 year old boy running around, it sure feels busy!!!! i do not know how my cousin handled 4, only years apart from each other!! boys are nuts!!!!

but things here are going well, for the most part. the update on the stitches. they were only in for about 5 days, and we had to get them removed. that was just as awful as getting them in!!! of course my poor child was terrified, which i don't blame him!!!!!!!!!

but how awful is it that people are telling you you have to put your child down and you have to let go of him, when he is crying, and screaming for you and NOOOOOOOOOO. it was bad, and again, i had many, many tears shed that day!!! but it really was painless. he was just scared from his previous experience, again, totally understandable!!!

we got his school pictures back, and if i may say he is just as handsome as can be!!! and he even smiled!!! god, i wish he would do that in the pictures that i try and take of him!!!



CLICK ON IT!!! the big version is just soooooooo much cuter than this little thumbnail!!!!

it didn't scan too well....i don't know why i can't ever get that to work right. but i was very pleased with it!


more on clay. i don't know if you read me alot or not, but i have often mentioned about clay and his talking, or lack there of. well in this last year, the child has improved so much!!! well i got a call from the preschool and they had concerns. well of course i was a bit upset. i mean who wants to think that their child has a "problem". so they set up some testing through the city schools, and it was deemed that he did indeed need some form of speech therapy.

so i just spoke with the lady today about the different options that we have to get him into some therapy. we could take him to the lady who does this and work out some schedule, or he can attend public preschool, and she will just come to his class every week and work with him. im PUBLIC PRESCHOOL????????????? how was i not aware of this?!?!?!?!?!?!!? all the busting of ass i did to try and find a preschool, let alone one we could actually afford, and there is PUBLIC PRESCHOOL?!?!?!?!?!?!?!

so i am thinking of switching his school. there are some MAJOR pluses here!!! firstly, because i am a lazy ass, this is an afternoon class, from 11:30-2:30, which i wanted in the first place!!!! i guess not so much as lazy, but definitely NOT A MORNING PERSON! secondly, since i am a cheap ass, this is FREE!!!!!!!!!!!!!! FREE!!!!!!! now i am paying $105 a month for 2 days a week!!! thirdly, this is for 5 days a week!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! yes, at first i did not want 5 days, i couldn't imagine being away from him for 2 days a week, but seriously, this child is driving me nuts with all the energy he has and no way to burn it except to drive mom up a wall, so i am LOVING the prospect that he gets to get out of the house 5 days a week!!!!

i also think that may actually help him with his talking and his awkwardness with strangers. i mean, we really see NOONE except each other almost 24/7. yes my mom visits and takes him on saturdays for a bit, and my grandpa comes over some times, but really other than that, all he spends his time with is me!!!!!!! yes, bob is here too, but since he works all day, it is just me!!!!!!! so i guess it is to say that he has not had much of a chance to actually develop his social skills.

they other good thing about switching to the public school, is that indeed the lady will come to his class to work with him every week. there will be no, checking her schedule, and our schedule, and trying find time we both have. so that will be great! i am really excited!

we are going there on friday to meet the teacher, the speech lady and to see the class. fingers crossed this will be what is best for him!!!!!!!!!!!

we went to the dentist on monday. to my dentist, can i please say, FUCK YOU very much!!!!! he told me, oh kids don't need to come in til they are 4,5, 6 years old. ok, well all these damn sites i am reading NOW, say that as soon as your child has all his teeth he should see a dentist!!! and guess what????????????? my child has 3 cavities!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! that could have totally been prevented!!!! well, not guaranteed, but they can put a sealer on their teeth to prevent cavities!!!! nice to know now!!!!! i am so pissed!!! and i didn't mention, but the dentist visit went AWFUL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i think he still may be freaked by the whole stitches thing! he didn't much like laying down on his back. then whenever the lady went to clean his teeth.....FREAK OUT!!!!!!!!!!! cry.......scream!!! so we were moved to a private room. she finally got a bit done. then the dentist got to look at his teeth, barely!!!!!!!!!!!! but that was it, we couldn't do xrays, and the whole flouride treatment, i doubt worked, cause he had the stuff in his mouth for about 2.3 seconds before he shot up crying!!!! so, didn't go too well!!!! we are to go back in 6 months. he said the cavities weren't that bad, but to make sure we brush good and do the flouride rinse. so now i feel awful that i gave my child cavities!!! yes, he eats a lot of junk and drinks some pop, but really i don't think he does it excessively! i really do think we just have weak teeth or thin teeth, whatever. i mean there was not a time in my teeth having life that i have ever NOT had a cavitiy!! i am serious! i think it runs in our family and now my poor kid is going to have to suffer!!!! and how the hell is he going to sit for some fillings?!?! a guy bob works with, his neice, she is about 4, just had to have 3 caviites filled and they put her to sleep!!!!!!!!!!! i don't think i would like that. i would be scared to death! but if it comes to that i don't really think there will be a choice. i don't see my child sitting for any of that nonsense!!

lovely day that was........followed by him locking my keys and my purse in the car at the post office!!!! lovely, lovely day that was!! good times, good times!! :)


in other news, my dogs are still driving me bat shit!!! they are wonderful with each other, and i know they are thankful for each other, but they are still damn hyper!!!!!!!!!! i cannot, CANNOT stand dogs that jump up on you when you come in a damn door!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! and these 2 sure do!!!!!!!!!! i even when i just let them in from going out to pee, you'd think they haven't seen me in 7 days!!!!! and the new one............chews the fuck out of everything!!!!!!!!!!!!!! EVERYTHING!!!!!!!!!!! that is getting very old!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! if there were a way to remove his teeth, i may actually consider it!!!!! seriously!!!!!!!

this beautiful old house that is sort of beside me, i wrote of it before, where the daughter had to put the mother in a home, was just bought at auction. are you ready to be sick...........................he paid $25,000!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! this house is beautiful and has sooooooooooo much potential!!! it happens i know the guy and he is in construction, so he is totally redoing everything!!! and i do mean everuthing! i wish i would have been taking photos, it is amazing!!!!!!! the sucky part.......well, bob was talking to him tonight and he is going to put it up for about $85,000!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! that is with NEW EVERYTHING!!!!!!!!!!!!

i was hoping he would list in in the 90,000's so then when we list ours again we could still be up in the 80,000's, but fuck, if he is listing at 85,000, what does that mean we are going to have to list ours at?!?!?!? 70,000's????? that won't work!!!!! we NEED more than that!!!!

so he bought it for 25,000, told bob he was going to put about 35,000 into it, so that is 60,000m then sell it for 85,000........so he is making 25,000 right there. just sucks!!!!!! just proves you have to HAVE money to make money!!!!!!!

*****to prove a point, my dog was just eating staples!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

what else is new around here...................had to put about $900 into my car, surprise, surprise! i swear as soon as i get them damn people paid off, something comes up and i have to go back there and charge some more!!!!!

been getting the hang of ebay. my elmo ended up going for like $122!! not bad for only paying $35 for him.

i also sold a few other things. the surprise was that i sold a broken x-box, yes they new it was broken, for like $58! i started it at .99. guess they all know something i don't!! sold some shoes, a crib bedding set, some other video game stuff.....i probably made about $100. i know it doesn't seem like much, but i sure was excited. i still have a TON of my clothes to put up and i am beaking down and putting up clay's too! maybe if i actually sell everything then i will get pregnant!!!!

well, before i go i would like to ask for prayers and well wishes for my cousin:

Baby has brain damage after shaking; mom’s boyfriend jailed
Thursday, November 2, 2006
By Lori Monsewicz REPOSITORY STAFF WRITER

AKRON The baby severely injured last week while in the care of his mother's boyfriend is suffering from brain damage from being shaken, according to his mother.
The extent of the damage is still being determined.

"The family is devastated by this tragic event. Horrible events like this occur often, but no one ever thinks that it could happen to their child," Jennifer Jamerson said in a statement released to the media.

The recovery of 10-month-old Nathaniel Jamerson "will be determined by his strength and the prayers of those who love him," Jamerson said.

The infant has been in critical condition since he was hurt at her home at 1331 Logan Ave. NW on Friday. He was left in the care of her boyfriend while she worked.

Eric Kugelman, 26, who lived with her, remained in the Stark County Jail on Wednesday under $100,000 bond on a felony endangering children charge and $10,000 bond on an unrelated domestic violence charge.

Canton detectives have said Kugelman is charged with having caused Nathaniel Jamerson's injuries.

In her statement, Jamerson said that doctors have told her that the brain damage and other injuries the baby suffered are associated with shaken baby syndrome.

"At this time, Nathan has been removed from the medicine that was keeping him sedated."

Her statement also asks people to pray.

"The family asks that you keep them in your prayers and make yourself more aware of whom you are allowing your children to spend time with. If only you take a step back and see your life as others would see it, you could prevent tragedy from happening to your family."

When the baby was injured, police already had a warrant to arrest Kugelman for a misdemeanor domestic violence charge involving the baby's mother. The charge stemmed from a Sept. 20 argument when he grabbed her by the arm and pushed her into furniture, police reports said.

The charge stemming from the baby's injuries is a second-degree felony. If convicted, Kugelman could get up to eight years in prison.

i don't really know her, and i cannot even imagine what she is going through. it has to be the most awful pain!!!

so please send out some extra thoughts and prayers for her little guy, her, and all of her family!! thank you!!