~7-21-05~ My day so far......

i am going I-N-S-A-N-FUCKING-E!!!!!

it all started about 4:30 AM, when my child wakes up and comes in my room. i get up, barely, and take him back in his room. 4:50 he is back!!!!!! i take him back. then next thing i know my cat is fucking with something in my room, making a ton of noise!!!! i may or may not have fallen asleep, but next thing i know bob's alarm is going off at fucking 6am! of course he turns it off and goes back to sleep, meanwhile my cat is still at it and i have to get up to move the damn box he is playing with! next thing i know bob is getting up, about 7. i sigh, and say to myself finally i can get back to sleep. then MOM!!! nope, no sleep!!!!!!!!!! so i get up cause bob is getting ready to leave, just as i plop on the couch he tells me clay has a poopy butt. yeah so?!?! he changes it, then says "your welcome!". i'm welcome....i'm supposed to thank him for changing his sons dirty diaper?!?!?! whatever.

so again i am trying to chill on the couch, but of course that means in clay speak to get into everything possible that i am not supposed to do. which i should know better. the first time i got up and checked on him he had strawberry syurp all over the kitchen counter as he was telling me "chocolate milk". so that got cleaned up and the milk was made. back to the couch i went. i check on him again in about 5 minutes, now there is WD-40 all over the window and he is yelling "paper towel"!

why me?!!? now i am listening to him yelling mommy! i have been trying to put him down for a nap since 12:45, it is now 1:45!!!! i even laid with him for 1/2 hour, which worked yesterday!!!!!!!!!!!!

yes, i know, some kids this age don't need naps anymore, but MOMMY DOES!!!!! no, but if he doesn't nap around 5pm, he starts dozing and i have to do everything in my power to keep him up. i mean picking him up, bothering him, while he is screaming and crying "night-night"!!!!!!! that just breaks my heart! but i CANNOT let him go to sleep at 5pm. hell he goes to sleep at 10pm now and is still up at 6am, if not earlier. god only knows when he would be up if i put him to sleep at 5!!!!!!!

when the hell is this "phase" going to end?! i am about to my wits end. how am i supposed to deal with this when i am pregnant and REALLY tired and worn out?!?!? and bob wonders why i am stalling on getting knocked up again?!?!? hhhmmmmmm......i wonder!!!!


did i mention that my child doesn't eat either?! so where the hell is all this energy coming from that he has?!?!?! i don't think the child eats a whole meal combined the whole day! and now all he basically eats is those lunchable things. that is all he wants. occasionally he will eat a nugget or 2. and maybe a bite or 2 of other things, but that is it. all he wants is junk. which is weird cause he really doesn't get stuff like that. somedays i am ready to sit him down with a bag of chips just so he will EAT SOMETHING!!!!!

well one more cigarette and then i have to go get him, cause him there yelling is driving me just as insane!!!!! plus i am sure if i give him anymore time he will surely figure out how to climb over the gate. then the threats of that will be void. even though they don't work in the first place!

have a wonderful day everyone!!