~6-27-05~ Why me????????

well i have hand herpes again, and i am miserable!!!!!!!!


i looked for a previous post on the topic and it must have been before my blog. so here is a short version.



i got these itchy, painful tiny little blisters all on my finger. it sort of fraked me out and i didn't know what was up and didn't want to "give anything" to clay so i went to statcare. this doctor looked at my finger for about 2 seconds and tolpd me i had shingles. i don't remember what he gave me or what i did. no biggie. later i told my regular doctor about it and she said it probably wasn't shingles, but something-somthing doctor talk. but she didn't get to see it thought, it was already healed.


well this past tues. or wednesdasy i got that itchy feeling again, but this time it was the other hand and it was the insides of my 1st and 2nd finger. i was like great, here we go. but no blisters. they sort of felt a bit swollen, and it was aggitating my ring finger (wedding ring), so i took that off, which HURT LIKE HELL!!!! i didn't think it was coming off! then friday the blilsters came, and saturday even worse, sunday horrendous. my fingers were VERY swollen, i can't bend them, and it is spreading to my other fingers and palm.

so i was surely going to call the doctor today. well clay is NOT going to sleep well STILL, and he woke up 2 times last night around 1 and 1:30. then his ass was up at 5am AGAIN TODAY!!!!!!!!!!! my hand was numb, tingling, and just plain hurt!!! so i just took my ass to the emergency room. i wanted something for it NOW!!!

the er was actually NOT busy i was very pleased and surprised, especially since i wanted to try and be home for bob to get to work on time.

i think i saw a dead guy. i don't know for sure, but he sure looked it!!! i don't know if the ambulance just brought him in or what, or WHY the curtain was open. i just looked away and tried to think happy thoughts, which i can't do there!! that is where my dad passed away, and going back to the actual er beds, you pass the "family consultation room". which is the worst place i have ever been in my life!!! that hospital has changed a bazzillion times, with all new additions and what not. i wish they would just tear that fucking room down!! i hate it!!!!!


anyways......it didn't take long for a nurse to come and "not" listen to me. then a few after that the FIRST doctor came in looked asked questions the nurse already asked, then said he didn't think it was shingles. he said it could be but he doubted it. so a few more later the next doctor came in, asked the SAME questions i had already answered TWICE, then he said YES it was shingles!!!!!

why can noone give me a straight answer?!?!?! and i KNOW there is a test that can be done!!!! i looked it up here on the internet!! of course i didn't say anything, i just wanted my drugs and i wanted to go home.

THANK GOD FOR WALMART AND THEIR 24 HOUR PHARMACY!!!! that is a few blocks from the hospital so i zoomed over there, got my pills and made it home by 7:30am! quickest trip ever for going to the ER. i swear it must be a world record!!!!


so i have a zillion pills to take. i have some steroid type thing that is just confusing. i have to take 3 a day for 3 days, then 2 a day for 3 days, then 1 a day for 3 days, then i think 1/2 for 4 days!!!!! WHAT?!?!?! i'm sure i will remember that! actually i wrote it on the calendar with times i should take it, so that way i will.

then i got some vicodin, which i think blows! i don't know how people get addicted. they don't make me high, and so far when i have taken them, they didn't even get rid of my pain! oh well i got 10 of those in case it gets worse, like he said it was going to, GREAT!!!!!

then i got some valtrex. the herpe medicine. well the other 2 came to about $3 a piece. that damn valtrex came to almost $36!!! i said WOW, did my insurance NOT cover that?? he said my insurance DID cover over HALF of it. it is usually like $80!!!!! for big ass blue horse pills i have to take 3 TIMES A DAY!!!!! i hate taking pills. not so much hate it, but my throat does not like swallowing them, so it is a mess!

so hopefully i will be getting better soon!!! this is just awful. if i knew it was going to be like this i would have went to the doctor RIGHT away!!!!

and i am all freaked out about giving clay chicken pox!!! i really don't want to deal with that right now! so i bought a damn box of latex gloves! fingers crossed. well yours, i can't even bend mine. you should see how fun it is typing right now! ha! i guess the good thing is that it is on my left hand, i would really be screwed if it were on the right.


so boo-hoo for me. that was my pity party.


had people come and look at the house today. i think they took some of my vicodin!!!! bob said he only took 3, but i am missing 5. we all know how bob is though, so i don't know. hell i'll give the people a whole bottle of it if they buy my damn house!!!!!


this flippin disease is also costing a lot of money!!! i don't feel like cooking since i can't move my hand, so we have been eating out. bob and i are pigs, so it costs about $20 a night! i think we are going on night 5 tonight! that is ridiculous!!!! also running out of places to go! for take out that is. i think he is going to subway tonight, blah, i don't much care for it since they changed their bread. but i am really not that hungry anyways.


i did finally start to watch some new shows. i am very pissed that i missed the first episode of the new average joe. and that hilton thing, i don't really care about that, but at least it is something to watch!!!! so i caught up on the scholar, it is ok. and the cut, it is ok too, but there is just something about tommy hilfiger that gets to me. i don't like looking at him!!!! don't know if i mentioned beauty and the geek, i think that is funny. and dancing with the stars, don't much care for that. i'd rather watch REAL ballroom dancing. still haven't started with hell's kitchen, and i think i missed a few episodes.

not long and big brother will be starting! woo-hoo!! lord, am i pathetic! but how that show saved my life. well not really saved, but the first season was on when bob and i broke up, and i moved out on my own. GOD i was sooooooooo BORED and LONELY!!! and i DIDN'T have cable!!!!!!!!!!!!!! big brother was shown 24 hours a day on live feed on realplayer. i would sit there all night just watching these people. feeling like "one of them". now THAT is really pathetic!!!!! but i don't know what i would have done without it. probably have went insane!!!! so i have a soft spot in my heart for big brother. even thought they screwed it up!!!! the first season, the public called in and voted people out of the house. now it is all survivor-ish. and people are voted out by the others in the house.


well i can't type anymore. my hand is throbbing. so i will just post some pictures of my cutie!!

take care!!