~1-18-05~ Do you believe?

i will just start by saying that my pyschic reading tonight was incredible!!

if you don't believe or are skeptical, i'm sorry for you. tonight was a real eye opener to me. bob sort of pissed me off, didn't believe, and just totally brought me down.

but i will share the story with you all anyways. this was my first ever reading.

first she started by asking me if i did some sort of healing work or taking care of people. i told her, just as a mom. she said that she "Saw" the big heart i had and the capacity of love and caring that i had. i got a little weepy. i do believe that. i don't know if you noticed it lately, but i have been really becoming motivated to get out and do something. i so badly want to help people, and help those less fortunate. bob says, well everyone does, so that could be anyone not just me.....

then out of nowhere she said that someone came to her. a man. a grandfather type figure. i just shook my head, cause my grandfather is still here, and my other grandfather, i never really knew, so i didn't know why he would want me to know he was there. then the words that came out of her mouth next, burst my heart, and then the tears DID flow.

i'll give you a little back story. back in 1996, the 2 most important things in my life were my father and my dog, harley. well after my father died, as it wasn't bad enough, harley started acting VERY weird. it broke my heart watching here day by day sitting at the door waiting for my dad to come home for work. well not long after my father died, she became ill. she already had a few back surgeries, and she needed another one. of course her doctor was on vacation, so i got some quack, who made us wait a few days to see if steroids helped her (her doctor did surgery RIGHT away so the pressure on her spine would not cause permanent damage) well we waited and needless to say this asshole caused her to have spinal cord damage and she had to be put to sleep. so i lost the 2 most important things in my life in a matter of months of each other. the only comfort i got was the fact that i knew they would now both be together.

so now tonight, she tells me, that this man has a dog with him!!!! WHAT?!?! i'm crying now again, just thinking about it. why would she say that. i mean what relevance would that be to anyone except to me?!?!?! so i asked her if it could be my father and she said yes. i really wished i could have expanded on that more. but i was at a loss and a little taken a back. it is funny, well may sound stupid to you, but all day i kept asking him to please come if he could. and i really think he did!! i think he let me know that they were both together and he is with me, and does hear me when i talk to him. but anyways, bob made that into, well everyone has dogs. but how relevant is that to everyone, especially when those are the 2 most relevant things to me?!?!

she then moved on and asked me if i had 2 children. i said no. she said she seen, 2, no 3, no 2, she kept going back and forth. she said she sees 2 and maybe the other one is a possibility. i told her WOW, bob wants one. i did not say that bob wants one more boy and that is it, but i want a girl. a while later in between something else, she said she sees 2 boys around me. so i am figuring it means i am going to have a boy, then try and talk bob into one more to see if i can get a girl. she then said that if i have a 3rd it will be a girl.

she said she sees a new truck or something like that. i don't know what that is cause i don't need or want a new vehicle.

a thing that did worry me is she said something is going to come up with my mother. WORDS I WAS DREADING HEARING!!!!! but she said to be assured that everything was going to be alright. i should assure myself and assure her. so i am scared to death about that one. and you all know how i worry about stuff like that. so now i will probably develop an ulcer! and do i tell my mother?!?!?!? once agin i wish i would have asked her more about that, but i was dumnfounded and scared shitless!!!!

she then asked if i was into any creative arts, like drawing or anything...god i almost typed drawling (funny when you read what is next)!!!! she said that she sees me being involved in writing, and being gifted that way. she said i have a true gift and should try and persue it. that she could see me writing and selling novels!! what is sooooooo odd is that i used to love writing. i used to write poetry all the time, i kept diaries forever, and i used to dream of writing a novel. what is funny from above, is that you would never guess that i used to be into writing with all my wonderful grammar and spelling, huh?! honestly, i used to be a journalism major while at mount union. like i said that only did last one semester. i didn't even get to take any writing courses. so that was about the gist of it.

OH, i forgot she asked my husbands name, and i told her. she then was like WHOA! she kind of put her hands together to try and give me a visual of what she "SEES" and said usually when she does the spouse, it usually moves a little toward each other, but bobs went right up against mine, and mine didn't back away any. she said that is a sign of true soul connection, a very deep love. then she reitterated how much she saw that he loved me. she also made some comment about our relationship, that made me respond, yes we were on and off for almost 10 years before we finally got married.....so to me again, she was DEAD ON!! bob should have been happy about that part, instead of trying to dismiss it all as nonsense!!!!

when it was time for me to ask questions, she already hit on a lot, but i asked her about my house. were we going to be able to sell it and will we be able to get a new one. she said that when she asked the question, she saw a for sale sign being laid down on the ground. the ground had new grass coming up, but had a light dusting of snow. she thought it would sell around the beginning of spring, definitely before may!!!!! she said it would sell fast and we wouldn't have a problem. oh, she also asked about the painting in my house, she asked if it was differnt of crazy, i couldn't remember what...i was like, well i have all my trim painted gold in the living room, some may think it is odd....and she said about how well i have it decorated, which if i do say so myself i tent to agree with her.

the other thing i was skeptical about was she said that the new house she saw, had a lot of land, which i do want that, but she said it was a 1 1/2 story or a split level. that is soooooooo NOT me. i want a nice old 2 or 3 story house. but i guess if i find something i really love, it won't matter. so i guess we will see.

i mean this whole thing took only about 15 minutes. i think we may have went over a bit. but it was just so incredible!!!!!! maybe it is because i want to believe it, but to me there is just too much there to say it is all hooey!!

i was thinking of taking my mom there within the next few weeks to see if she says anything like she told me, but i don't know if my mom would tell me, cause i know she would not want to worry me! this is just going to bother the shit out of me now. like i don't sleep enough! i know she said everything is going to be ok, but i just don't want my mom to have to go through anything! she is such a nice, caring, loving person. she had to battle breast cancer YEARS ago, at a very early age. she should not have to go through something else again, especially when all she has done with her life is good things for other people!!!! damn it i am stupid!!! how could i have not asked her more questions about that!!!! stupid, stupid, stupid!!! maybe i should go back. is there some kind of waiting period between psychic readings?!?!


as for tv shows. i'm mad those two tattoo people got kicked of fear factor. especially after that one goof was talking shit about them. i hate that!!! for some reason these episodes seem like they are taking forever! i don't remember it being like that on the last couple's series.

as for the bachelorette, i didn't do to well on my predictions this week. she dropped stu, i really liked him! everyone thought he was creepy, but i would love to have a guy that into me, he seemed to genuinly care for her!! i don't know why she kept that french guy, he gets on my LAST nerve!! but since she kept him, i am glad she kept josh. my fave is still jerry, even though he still hasn't SAID anything to really get me, he is just damn hot!!!!! my favorite so far, from hearing him talk and what he says to her is wendell. that keith actually won me over tonight, i was very surprised.

that new nanny show, once again made me terrified to to have more children! god i hope my children don't turn out like those on these shows!!!!

and as for my soaps, they pissed me off like usual!

well that is it for me. i am wiped! i didn't get a good nap, since clay did not want to take a nap AGAIN. i swear he was in his crib pissing around for almost 2 hours! i put him up there before 1, and i fell asleep after 2 and i know he was still awake! i was in there like 3 times! when i woke at 3 he was finally out.

so i am off to sleep now, so i can think about all the psychic said to me and get NO sleep like usual! night!