~8-14-04~ Ah, hell!!

know what sucks?! finding out you are wrong about something and having to apologize!

my whole fury yesterday, happened to be ill informed. it was actually over a fight we already had.

hubby was doing his stupid shit of taking money out of the account again and not telling me. so we had a big blow out yesterday. then he proceeds to present me with the most beautiful bracelett i've ever seen. he then tells me that he had it in layawy for a while and it was time to get out so he had to come up with the money so he wouldn't lose it. ok, now who feels like shit?!?!

"but why," i ask. his response, "cause i never gett o get you anything nice...i ws going to give it to you the morning of clay's birthday." now who even feels like more shit?!?!?!

so in my feeling like shit period i am still pissed off about them money and being overdrawn in our account!! so i give him a check to deposit and tell him to only get out $20 cause the rest has to cover the overdraft charges. so last night i check my account online and it shows a pending withdraw of $120. so i call him and flip out. well here, it was some previous transaction, which i don't know why it wasn't processed yet, cause what i just gave him earlier that day was already processed. so in fact everything was fine with the account.

so now here is another dilemma. although the bracelet is breath-takingly beautiful. i don't go anywhere to wear an expensive diamond tennis bracelet! i was already thinking of going back and putting a ring i like in layaway at walmart for christmas. and hell for the cost of that bracelet i could probably get at least 2 rings!!!!! HERE is my problem. i have this "problem" of always making him take back the gifts that he gets me. i mean they are great gifs, but usually at the time we need the money more, i just will not get the use out of it to justify spending the money. so i feel very awkward about telling him i'd like to take the bracelet back and maybe get a ring. what do you all think??? my friend said to just shut up and keep the bracelet, its the thought that counts. which i can see, but i will never wear it! maybe on a holiday, if i happen to dress for a black tie event!!!! i know we could start going to nice places, but hello!!! even if we do that i would only wear the thing a couple times a year! a ring i would wear everyday!!!!

i don't know! it is BEAUTIFUL!!!! i must have stared at it for a half hour last night. i'll go take a picture of it in a second for you all to see. it's so pretty!

i just don't want to hurt his feelings. most of the time he has such great intentions, and i feel as if i constantly ruin it with "reality" or "practicality". so guys, PLEASE, let me know what you all think. thanks!!