~5-21-04~ I may finally be able to SEE!

my mother just got an inheritance from my great uncle that passed away after christmas and she told me she was going to pay for my lasik surgery. i think that is so nice of her, but i feel bad. i just wish she would use that money to pay off her car and all of the bills she can. i told her if she really wanted to do this, then just pay for like 1/2 and i could just pick up the rest. it is about $2600. she said no, she was going to get it for me. so i called today and made my pre-op appointment. well it just dawned on me that it is the same damn day i am supposed to get my root canal. i'll just change the root canal. i've been living with my tooth aching for so long now, what is another week. yes, you can also say i have been living without being able to see for about 16 years now, but that i don't want to live with a day longer than i have to!! i was supposed to get it done last october, but since we were having money issues, i decided to sacrifice being able to see for the well being of our family. (yet bob got a car?!) then i was going to reschedule, but then i had the whole tubal pregnancy/emergency surgery deal and you have to wait like so many months after that.......so then i was like forget it. i already have too many bills and without the windows, there was no $$. so mom stepped up and wants to do this for me. so now officially she has done the most precious things in life for me, along with giving me life, getting through the death of my father, helping me when i moved out on my own, helping me and teaching me to be a good mom, and now giving me the gift of sight! she is just an amazing person. i know that is what mothers are for, but i think sometimes we just take them for granted and don't really appreciate the things they do. but i REALLY do!!!! so if i write bad stuff about her, venting, just know that i love her with all my heart, she just drives me nuts sometimes.

in case you are all not into the whole lasik thing and think it is dumb, well for me, without my glasses i am legally blind! if i did not know that that was a big ass E at the top of the eye chart i would not know, because i can't see it!! i am like 20/1000 or something outrageous. that means that what you normal sighted people can see from 1000 feet away, i have to be 20 feet from it to see it. i remember the first time i heard of lasik, well that wasn't what it was then, but the procedure years ago. i was so excited, i wanted it so bad. back then when it first came out it was like $5000 and eye, or something that normal people couldn't afford, and of course insurance doesn't cover. luckily i found this wonderful place up near cleveland, and it is only $1299 and eye and that is with a lifetime guarantee. if in my lifetime my eyesight ever changes i get to go in for a free adjustments. yes, i know there are risks......and how my luck goes that should scare me. just like oh with this shot to dissolve your tubal pregnancy there is a 100000000000000000000000 in 1 chance that it will actually make it explode, not dissolve (mind you the shot usually works for most people one time, i of course, had to have 2 shots and the fucking thing still exploded and i had to be rushed to surgery!!!) so i am aware of the risks and i am a bit apprehensive, but i have to try it. to be able to see will just be a miracle! you see those people on those tv shows that get it done and they cry. you may laugh and not understand. well i TOTALLY understand how emotional that is for someone! i am also sure that i will be one of the ones crying! aside from the birth of my son, that will probably be one of the most amazing events of my life.

well here i am telling you nothing has been going on here, and then i write a whole book. i think i may break this up into a few different posts. give your eyes a break.