~10-11-05~ Here I am!

yes, i suck at this whole updating thing lately!!

but i am just beat!!!!!! mentally and physically! well mostly mentally, which is worse!

i am glad to say that clay's sleeping has somewhat regulated, so that is not the problem anymore. he is usually asleep by 9 pm and stays that way til about 7:30am, which sucks, but it is better than 6am!!! i will just have to deal.

the mental stuff comes from trying to sell this damn house!! we FINALLY got a new realtor, and along with her came a LIST of things to do! WHAT?!?! i was prepared to do this shit back in march! but our then realtor said not to worry. so now we are rushing trying to get shit done, and everything that has re-cluttered the place in the last six month we are trying to get it organized and packed away. plus on top of that i have KIDS here every damn day which is really, REALLY earing on my nerves!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! more on that later.

so this past weekend, well 2 weekends we have been doing some painting inside. it looks really nice, but i just hate not being able to FINISH a project, to COMPLETION!!!! i hate this half done shit! drives me batty! we almost have the "sunroom" done. we painted, and now have to hang the blinds we got for the slider. the living room is somewhat done, we are debating on painting the ceiling since we painted the walls. the biggest thing is the foyer/upstairs hallway. we are thinking of putting up chair rail and painting. we were just going to paint below the chair rail, but the more i think about it the top needs done more, so now we may do both of that. then i also have it in the back part of my mind to paint this computer room as well. and when i think about it those are all really the least unattractive part to the house.

the ceiling in the garage looks like crap cause it used to leak. they had some partical board or something hung up there, and pieces are falling down that had got wet. so now we are debating on just tearing the whole thing down, or just trying to fix the parts that are falling and painting it. the major thing is the one wall in the garage that is basically falling in. i got most of the water to stop coming in, but it looks like total shit and there is nothing that can be done to the big ass hole there.

in the basement there is just a bunch of clutter. bob took some more to the little storage space we have left, the rest we just have to organize and have it not look so bad. my mom brought up the idea to paint the floor to make it look a bit nicer, and i do agree, but what the hell to do with all the shit that is down there?!?! and the ceiling that we hung in the laundry room looks like hell! it is falling in. so we need to come up with some idea for that, which REALLY sucks!!!!

then i had a termite inspection, cause you need one to sell your house. i knew we had really bad damage when we bought the place....well, the guy found some tubes, but he can't say if they are old, from before we bought the house, or if they are new, but it couldn't pass inspection, which means it has to be treated.....$1300!! the good thing is that they can take it out of the closing, but i just don't see why someone would buy a house with termites, even if it is going to be treated! i mean they could be like me and be in LOVE with the house, i guess i am just worried. the termite guy said it is no big deal, that more than 1 out of every 8 houses in canton has termites. so whatever.....that is my next dilema......treat it now so i can say i have NO termites, or just wait and see if someone will buy it and just take it out of the closing....either way i am out $1300!!

so there you have it.........see why i haven't been writing! oh no, wait, the kids......lord! i don't even know what i have already written or where i left off on that matter, so excuse me if i am repeating myself.

i will start by saying that KIDS ARE MEAN LITTLE FUCKERS!!! BRUTAL!!!! i swear i don't remember that from my childhood! i don't! i wasn't mean to anyone and i don't remember anyone being mean to me! the one little girl "S", she is 10, she is a little bitch! you would never know it either, and really 99% of the time i don't think she really means it, but then WHY SAY OR DO IT THEN!!!!!!!!! YOU ARE ALL KIDS FOR CHRIST'S SAKE, CAN'T YOU JUST PLAY AND GET THE F ALONG!!!!!

ok, so i am being nice, aka stupid, and am watching them when the get home from school til their parents get home. originally i said they didn't have to pay me, then it was just bring snacks, well i thought we agreed on $30 and the mom was going to send down snacks........haven't seen any snacks and school started going on 2 months ago!!!!!!!!!! so I have been getting some snacks for them. which isn't THAT bad, i watch the 8 year old and the 10 year old, so why do the older sisters come down and eat the shit?!?!?!?!? the 14 year old will call down for the younger ones to bring her something. HELLO!!! she is at home in her own house, eat your own damn food!!!!!!!!!!!!! then it gets hard, cause some other little girls sometimes come down too, so if the girls are eating, i have to give the others some too!!!!! so needless to say, the shit i buy is gone in less than a damn week, but why should i have to buy these kids food???????????????????????????????? oh and did i mention that the mother, yes, the MOTHER sent one of the girls down a while back at like 9:30 to get something to eat!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! at first i thought it was just a scam for the 14 year old to get something, but no! i talked to the mom a few days later and she apologized, but said it was that time of the month and she needed something sweet. HUH????????????????? aren't you 44 years old???????

as for the "other neighbor" situation, social services has been called, 2 times i am told, well i was witness to one, but i don't believe anything has been done about it!! the little 4 year old was dropped off today from head start, and NOONE was there to get her so the bus driver made her get back on the bus. and that has not been the first time that has happened! all i can say is that thank god their phone has been finally turned back on, so i haven't seen them for about a week now.


i need to move!!!!!!!! to save my sanity!!!!! but then what, i truly think clay will miss them! even though they aren't playing as well as the used to. he and the girls' neice, she is 18 months, used to get along great, but she started day care, and she is turning into a little brat, so now her and clay are always "at" each other. which most of it is clay, "teasing", but this girl screeches (at the top of her lungs i might add) at everything and it drives me insane! then clay is always on the 8 year old, i think it is cute as all get out, but it tends to driver her nuts sometimes, which in a way i can understand, but how can she just not love it!!! clay is so damned cute!!!!!!!!!!!! so i always have to hear, jennifer, can you tell clay to leave me alone. and i feel bad telling him to leave her alone! a lot of times it is cause they are sitting watching tv or something and i think he wants to play! so now it is getting to the point that i know as soon as they get here my child turns psycho and i have to yell at him every 3 seconds, and that is getting real OLD!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i just soooooooooooooooooo regret 2:45pm nowdays! and man do i need to be out of here by the time school is out. what then?!?!?!?! who is going to watch the kids all day?!?!?! right now the oldest sister 21, doesn't leave for work til about 1pm, but she is planning on moving out, then what?!?!?!?!?!?! i am getting a headache just thinking about it!!!!!!!!!


oh more house stuff.........then the load lady kind of pissed me off, well she didn't, but told me news i didn't like. i guess that FHA will only finance $172,000! well the house i want is going for $194,900 right now!!!!!!!!!!!!! then she went on to say something about debt to income ratio, blah, blah, blah.........so i am trying to look at cheaper houses that only have about 80% of what i want in a house when the one i want is about 99% of what i want!!!!!!!! again we aren't really trying to get "into" a house yet, we don't want to get our hearts broken like we did with that house in canton south. hopfully we can have an open house the 23rd with the new realtor. she seems to be on the ball, plus she drives a nice lexus, so she must be doing something right! hopefully she can get us out of here.

i go to the girlie doctor next week, then we are going to be trying for baby #2. i really want to be out of here by then, but we are running out of time! i planned on already being moved and pregnant by now!!!!! damn it!!!!


it is just really hectic here. by the time clay is fianlly out and i get downstairs it is after 9pm, so then we try to watch all our shows so bob can be to bed by 11pm. then i watch my soaps and what not and try to be done with that by 12:30am, and i would like to be in bed by then (look at the time now!!) so by the time i actually get in bed it is about 1:30am. who knows what time i actually fall asleep, i am starting to have THOSE THOUGHTS again, and can't get to sleep. that soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo sucks!!!! bob's alarm usually goes off around 6am, and i swear he doesn't get out of bed til 6:30-7am!!!!!! i haven't really been awake for that alot lately thank god!! i doubt i am getting more than 5 hours of sleep a night! so then when i finally drag myself out of bed in the morning, that is only cause i can just imagine what clay is into, and i usually am right, i am dead tired and just lay on the couch dozing off and on all day. i don't usually "wake" up til about noon. then i am busy racing around trying to figure out what to make for supper and clean up the house just in time for the kids to get there and mess it all up again!

well i better end it now, it is almost 1:30am!!

geeze, aren't you glad i finally updated! haha!!! watch what you wish for!