~12-4-04~ Forget the last post...totally!

well now that i just wrote the ode to my husband, i should have known he was going to do something to piss me off and which i never would have written the previous post!!!!!
i just don't see if he loves me why he does shit to upset me!!!!!!!!!!!! i could totally see if there was something mentally wrong with him, but there is NOT!!! as a matter of fact he is pretty darn smart, so why does he do stupid shit?!?!?! yes, i know he is a man, but i am tired of that excuse!!!!!!!

he had my checking account over drawn AGAIN!!!!!!! what is this, like the 20th time.....THIS YEAR!!!!!! IN THE PAST FEW MONTHS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

so last weekend we had to rush to the bank so i could deposit money to get it positive (key charges you like $30 every 3 days that it is overdrawn) so i was relaxed everything was taken care of. so i keep getting the damn things in the mail telling me i am overdrawn. i thought they were sent out before i deposited the money. so i get on the puter thursday night and find out i am still over drawn and got another fucking $30!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i don't know when he did it, but he used the fucking card (it was posted to the account the same day, i don't know when he used it) the same day i deposited the money to cover the overdraft!!!!!!!!! so i was back to being -$almost 80!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! so i gave him the check book yesterday and told him to go put $80 in the account to cover my overage. so i get online last night and it still shows my account -$12!! what the fuck?!? so i asked him today how much he deposited in my account. he doesn't remember. HUH?!?! it was yesterday!!!! then he tells me he wrote the check for $100 and took out $20. well why the hell is it showing me being negative $12?!? of course when i looked last night, they still weren't posted on the account. soooooooo.......

i just checked my account.....he deposited $120 (what happened to $80 like i TOLD him) guess that is my fault for not writing the check out myself.......so, he deposited $120, took out $40 and for some reason the same day took out another $20. WHAT THE FUCK?!?!?!?! DO THE GOD DAMNED MATH!!!! i was -80, you put in 120, which brought me to positive 40, so why the hell would you take out 60 fucking dollars?!?!?!

this is the shit i have to decide if i can live with folks!!!!!!!! after all the nice things i said about him previously does this override them, or do the positive over ride the bad. i don't know cause when he does shit like this i just want to fucking strangle him and get the hell out of here. that is NOT the role model i want for my child. and now i have to think of what is best for my son, not myself.

not to mention he always does shit like this around the holidays. every freaking christmas i shit you not. he does something totally fucking stupid to piss me off to no end every fucking holiday!!!! i'm so sick of waiting and wondering when he is going to do something like this again. i already feel bad that the guy doesn't have his own money or credit cards, but look what he does with what i do give him. how could i just give him free reign with his own. and yes i tried, he got a credit card of his own a while back......right around mothers day. he had the whole thing charged up in less than a month, and there sure wasn't a mothers day gift on there!!!!!!!! it was all stupid shit, mostly beer!!!!!!! so see, i am not being a controlling bitch, i have tried, and i get fucked everytime i try to give him some sort of responsibility with money.

ok i need to quit, i am just too mad, and i am sure you have heard all of this before, cause i live it ALL the time!!

i am so tired of it all.