i'm so exhausted!!!!! my darling son was up early today (yes, 8 am is early for me!!) but i wanted up ...backstory.......i am not a morning person. i'm sure staying up til 4 or 5 am, may have something to do with it, but whatever....so what wakes me up in the morning is clay crying. telling me he is up and ready to get out of his crib. well being the great mommy that i am, if he doesn't cry i don't wake up, so the other day apparently he didn't cry, and fell back to sleep. all i know is that i wake up and it is noon!!!!! so i jump up, freaking out that my poor kid has been trapped in bed all day, well he was sleeping. the worst thing is, is that he always goes #2 sometime at night. i don't know when, but now the poor child has been in it til noon, needless to say he had a horrendous diaper rash! it is bad. so i try to change him and he is screaming, more like shrieking.....i'm almost in tears, since it is all my fault!!! so it was horrible! the next morning i was up, and he usually goes again after breakfast. so i changed him, we did our thing, and i put him down for his nap. well he gets up and we play for a bit then i go and change him, he pooped again!!!!!!!! ok, so now how long was he in it?!?!?! i'm just an awful mother!!! so now, i am checking his little but like every 1/2 hour. bob is on midnights this week, so i told him to get clay and bring him in to me when he gets home, so i am sure to get up. so i got up today. his butt is looking a bit better, but of course he went to the bathroom like 4 times today. why is it that when his butt is sore, it seems like he is always pooping?! well anyways, we were up at like 8am....do you think my child took a nap today???? HELL NO!!!! i sat there with him for an hour! i was the one dozing off, not him. then i was just going to go stick him in his crib, since he really should learn to start taking his nap in his crib, and not being rocked to sleep, but by the time i thought about it it was too late. i'm sure he would throw a fit forever if i were to take him up there, then there would be no time for him to sleep. he has to be up around 3 to get him to sleep by 8-9 at night. so of course around 4 pm he turned into a terror. of course it all started when i was on the phone with the lady at the bank trying to sort out the previous post. so he is screaming and she is telling me all of that. that is probably why i didn't go off to her at the time. so then i had to try and cook dinner with him spazzing. it never fails that when i am trying to cook, he wants me to hold him.....AHHHHHH!!!! that is why i am exhausted. well it is understandable then, that i fell asleep during my shows!!!

so i missed everything tonight. why bob didn't try to wake me up i have no clue?!?!?! he was on here, he is, for some reason addicted to this damn beer thing......beer advocate?! so now that we have no money, he is into going and getting all these different kinds of beer, traveling all over the damn state to find shit, and buying shit he doesn't need. like stupid shit he keeps bidding on through ebay on my fricking account!!!!!! why in the hell would you spend over $20 on a damn bottle of beer????? if you had the money i may be able to see, but knowing that we don't?!?!?!?!? i was thinking of canceling my bid on dr. phil's relationship rescue book, but that was only $5! and that is something to actually help us!!!!! i won by the way, so i'm excited to get it and start it, don't know if it will work, but guess we will see.....