ok...i'm having a mommy moment....i'm catching up on my shows from last week, and somehow happened to tape dateline or something. this lady had a son, when he was about 1 she had twin boys. after some odd behavior from the oldest, it was finally confirmed that he was autistic. then not too long afterwards, it was also diagnosed that the twins also were autistic!! my heart just broke for this woman, especially when she said that she never gets to hear them say i love you.....then my tears start!!!!!

clay is just my world. i mean, there are times, more than not, that i don't leave the house for days. and i am not the least bit upset about it. i get to spend all of my time with him. this may not be normal or healthy, but i honestly wouldn't want it any other way. i can just sit and stare at him, watching him play or anything, and i just have the strongest feelings of love flow through me. i know those of you who are parents know what i mean! it is just so amazing what children can bring into your life. even if you think you know, until you actually experience it....it is just incredible. i know i have said it before, but i cannot imagine my life without clay. i think about what i would be or could be doing and i just have an empty, hollow feeling. clay was definitely not planned. but there was not one second that i thought he was a mistake or was upset about the whole thing. he is the best thing that has ever, ever happened to me. i am sort of a selfish person. i want what i want, when i want it. but for clay, i am here for him. i would give up anything for him!! of course, most parents feel this way and share this thinking. i am just so blessed to have him in my life! it just breaks my heart to see babies and children that are neglected or abused. i, for the life of my, just cannot fathom how in the world anyone could do that to such a precious, precious child?! then these poor kids who have these terrible diseases and illnesses. i wish i knew why such things happen. it tears my heart out, to see any of them suffering.

anyways.......these people must be here in ohio, cause they were talking about the cleveland clinic. they have a new program there for autistic children. of course, these poor parents insurance doesn't cover the type of treatment their children needed, so they transformed their basement into a type of clinic, and they hired 12 different , and therapists to work with their children. to make things worse, they father lost his job! so to keep everything up to help their kids, they had to use all their savings. the treatment the are receiving is ABA, applied behavior analysis. sadly it is said that only 30% of kids show improvement after the therapy. their boys seem to be doing a bit better and are learning new tasks. it just constant teaching, repeating, and just diligent never ending persistence. every day, every hour, they have to constantly reinforce what they are learning or what they are trying to teach. if there is ever a break, they begin to regress. now they are out of money and there is no or not much public help, be it schools or programs to help autistic children. my heart really goes out to these parents. they are so strong and have so much hope and faith. god bless them!!!