i like bill mahr! he is on leno right now and he is making a lot of sense with what he is saying. i also like him cause he tells it like he sees it and he doesn't care what anyone else thinks....."politically correct" or not! i liked that show by the way.

all marriages are same-sex marriages, cause after you get married it is the same sex every night! haha!!

he also said the bush should fire rice and hire amarosa cause that is one bitch who could handle terrorists.

ok, on to clay........he is just so dam cute!! he actually said something that sounded like da-da today! usually da-da is ma-ma. kitty cat is the only thing that sounds like da-da. it's just getting frustrated that he is almost 20 mths and has almost no words yet! (at 15 mths they are "supposed" to have something like 10 words) i am so anxious to hear his voice!!! the one word he does say is NO. he sure knows that word, doesn't listen to it, but knows it. he has been saying that for quite sometime. he does use ma-ma for me, mostly just MA, when he actually means me. even his bo-boo, was something like ma-ma the other day. i really do think he is smart though (ok, what parent doesn't?!) but i usually only have to tell him something once and he knows what it is. like his boo-boo. as soon as he got it, i pointed and said boo-boo. a little while later i asked him where his boo-boo was and he lifted up his pants to point to it. he also got a nerf type football recently. i showed it to him and told him what it was, then asked him later to bring me the football, and he went and got it. maybe it is all "normal" but everyday i am just so amazed at how they process things. any little new discovery he has or new milestone he reaches i am just in awe. it is just so special to see them learning and doing new things, and the feeling you get from knowing that you are the one who is nurturing them and teaching them, and directing them......it is all so breath taking (and a bit scary!)

we were all outside the other day. clay was running around being cute.....as usual. bob and i were watching, smiling, and i said to him, can you even imagine life without him now? the concept of an existence without him is just unthinkable. i honestly don't know what i would do without him. he is so my life. everyday i wake up to see him, to hold him, to love him!! there are times that i miss being single, and not being a mom....just in the aspect of being able to just wake up, or not wake up or being able to go anywhere on a whim, or hanging out getting crazy with friends..etc. but then i start to think and i honestly wouldn't change or give up my life now for anything. being a mom is all i ever wanted to be. i never had big career goals or adventurous life plans, i just always dreamed of getting married and having children. now the children part may have changed a bit. i'm still not sure about having #2. which i don't have a lot of time to still be toying with the idea. well the idea of it is great, i am just afraid of the reality. 1 is hard, i can just imagine 2. then on the same hand i see the pleasure i get from 1, so with another it would all be doubled!!! so i don't know. our tentative plan is for august. it was actually last august, so i guess we will see.......

i need to get off of here....i would say to go to bed, but the past few nights, i actually have been in bed earlier than i have been, but then i am also MORE tired, and don't want to get up. what is with that?! i had maybe 3 hours sunday, and i was up at 8 when clay got up, no problem. the other night i got at least 5, clay was up about 9 and i him-hawed not wanting to get up til 10, then dead tired at 8PM!!!! maybe i'm a weird sort, who needs either 12 hours or like 2-3 hours!? i'd really like to opt for the 12, but i'm sure that won't happen for about another 18-20 years!! oh well, gotta love it! :) take care everyone!