~8-23-04~Slacking off

sorry i've been slacking off, and not posting for a few days. that is not like me. i'm just being extra lazy i guess.

nothing real exciting or new going on here. went to the butt doctor, oh the fun that was!!!! NOT!!!!! why did i think the guy was just going to LOOK with his eyes to see the problem?! oh no, there was more involved and it was not fun at all!!!!

so he gave me a few options. but i am a baby, so i don't know if i am going to go through with it or not. now when hemorrohoids aren't a problem, i can say, "oh well, i'll just deal with them." but the next time they come back, i know i will be crying wishing i had done something about them.

i have 2 options. one is this staple something. i'm not quite sure, they go up there and staple something that i guess cuts off the blood flow to them or, i don't know! i haven't given the options too much thought yet. what i do know about this option is that it is the least painful, that is a BIG plus. on the down side, you have to be put to sleep, which i don't care for, and you also have to do a whole cleansing thing down there, which i don't know if i really want to do.

the other option is to have them cut out all together. this is supposedly the easiest, but it is PAINFUL! he usually recomends 2 weeks off work, i don't work, so that isn't a problem, but if someone has to take off 2 weeks cause of the pain, that is a lot of damn pain! the plus to that, is they only use a local to numb ya, and you only have to do an enema, not that that is a good thing, but i can only imagine the whole cleansing procedure for the other is much worse!

so i don't know what to do. and what makes it even more confusing for some reason these people can't tell me how much these will cost. they looked at me all dumb founded when i asked the question. they said my insurance will cover it. well ok, but if my insurance only covers 80%, i'd like to know the total, so i know what i am going to be paying for my 20%. but they don't know. what the hell is up with that?!?!?!?! what if i didn't have insurance?

so now that i'm sure i have you all grossed out by that whole mess (try living it, it's worse than reading about it) let's move on to a more desirable topic.

hhhmmmmmmmmm. i don't know. my tooth is still hurting me. which i assume means that i am just going to have to have the fucker ripped out, which i really was hoping to avoid. why do i have all these problems?!

i got an estimate for my house work, had to send it to the insurance company. hopefully they will agree to it and give me the extra $900 to get everything done. i sooooooo want to start this process now! i'm excited for my house to be all pretty! heck i may even decorate for christmas since it will look nice!

clay went to his first birthday party saturday. well he was at her party last year too, but he was pretty oblivious to it. he somewhat played with the other kids. more than i actually thought he would. like usual he was off by himself, doing his own thing. i think he had a good time though. and also like usual, he of course, found the things to get into trouble. he knows how to open the latches on fences. so of course he almost made an escape a few times. thank goodness others were watching him as well as me!! then there were the neighbors dogs. they were at the fence barking most of the party. all the kids knew to stay away, except for my child that is. he was the one always running over to the fence to harrass the dogs! i don't think they would have hurt him, but who knows about animals! it was a good time though.

next week, well this saturday, is his party. it won't be near as big as that party though. i'm excited. i like having people over, and i love having my family together. it's nice not to wait for holidays. they all get a kick out of clay, and i am sure he does of them as well. hopefully there will be a few kids there for him to ignore! haha! now i just have to get my butt moving on cleaning my house. or should i say, throwing everything into my spare room! the only major ordeal we are tackling is scrubbing the carpets. if we get one of clay's presents on time, we will set IT up. which would entail rearranging a whole room, and doing god knows what with the stuff in it. so, i don't know if i actually want to get it before the party or not. i'd like to have it for the kids in case it happens to rain. so we will see!

last night (saturday) i don't know what was up with my child! he was up crying at 5AM!!!!! i woke bob up and was all like "what should i do?!" i've never had to deal with this since he was an infant, and then it was just give him a bottle and he was back to sleep. so i was in total not knowing what to do mode. i went and got him and brought him back in our bed. i was hoping he would just lay down and go back to sleep. yeah right! we so bad want that! i know you parents that can't get your kid/s out of your bed think i am crazy, but i would love to be able to sleep with him for once. bob too. i would love to be able to lay there and look at his precious sleeping face, just having him close. i miss that the most from my breast feeding days. that is about the only thing i miss about that whole thing!

anyways. that did not work. he kept wanting to stand up and piss around with everything on the side tables. so after about a half hour, i put him back in his crib. he cried for about 2-3 minutes off and on, but was finally back to sleep around 6. whew!!!!

then at 6:30 bob's fucking alarm started going off. what the hell is that all about?! he said he wanted to get up and go do the windows that he had to do. i huffed, and he was like "what?!" me, "well i just got back to sleep like a half hour ago!!!!" he had the nerve to go. "me too!" yeah right! you were snoring about 2 seconds after i brought clay in our room!! so i get back to sleep to then be awakened by scraping and pounding!!! our neighbor is getting his house re-sided as well. they started it saturday morning, and sure enough at 8am, the were finishing the damn job!!!!! i don't know when i finally fell back to sleep, and i don't know when bob finally got up and left, i just know that clay was up at his normal time between 8:30-9:00. and me being the good mother that i am, fell asleep and didn't wake up til the phone rang at almost 10. my mom said she would come over and play with him. so i got up and got his breakfast ready. i tried to go back to sleep, but what is the point, i am already up!!!!!!!

so we did our normal routine. then i laid him down for his nap around 1:45. and i went directly to bed my own self! that little shit was NOT going to sleep!!!!!! i don't know what time he finally fell asleep, but once again my good mommy self, was in bed, and was not getting up and then fell asleep. it had to be after 3 when he finally fell asleep. bob woke me up around 5, and i had to go "wake" clay up. i hate waking him. so i opened his door, and kept trying to make subtle noises. finally i just went in his room and rocked on his rocking chair for a bit. i saw his eyes flickering so i knew he was getting up.

then tonight, it took his little butt forever to finally fall asleep. i put him in bed at almost 10, and i know he didn't quit farting around in bed til about 11. sigh!!!! hopefully we will not have a repeat tonight! i am taking my butt to bed here shortly. don't laugh, i am!!!!!! bob is on days this week, so i am not laying in bed with the laptop all comfy, so i definitely won't be on here long. plus when he is on days, i will be awakened at 6:30 with that god awful alarm....and then probably snooze every freaking 7 minutes til 7!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! god i hate days!!!!! so then when clay gets up i will be in a fog, since i won't get back to sleep til after 7 and he will be up 8:30-9 (hopefully....he seems to get up earlier when bob is on day--which is just lovely!!!!) if i get less than 2 hours of sleep in a stretch, either i won't get up at all, or will and fall back to sleep oblivious to everything. if i absolutely have to get up with less than 2 at a time, like if he is crying (i will get up then people! i'm not that bad of a mommy!!!!) then i will just be super tired all day.

i cannot even imagine what it will be like with more than one child!!!! that is half the reason i don't even want to. especially the baby part. that was the hardest part! i dread that! they are cute and precious and all. but my internal clock is just not set for early morning and less than 12 hours of sleep. i am already lagging with one interrupting my clock, it will totally be thrown out with another one!!

enough of my whinning! that was all the latest exciting stuff going on here in the ewell house hold!!! i'd tell you about all the money we spent at walmart tonight, but trish would just get mad, and i wouldn't want to bore the rest of you to tears, so i will just end it here. we are damn exciting people aren't we!! hehe!!