~10-15-04~ AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!

i've never in my time as a mommy been at a total loss. i am there NOW!!!!!

my child just demonstrated that he can climb out of his crib!!!!! he wil NOT stay in ther and he will NOT go to sleep!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

i even justtrie laying him in my bed with me, and he will NOT go for it!!!!

i just took him in his room laid a balnket and pillow on the floor, put his crib bars down and told him night-night amd left the room. i latched the door so he can't open it and he is now in there having a holly hell coniption fit!!!!!!!!

it is RIPPING MY HEART OUT LISTENING TO HIM IN THEIR CRYING LIKE THAT!!!! i keep telling myself whatthe doctor said a while back, a child has never cried themselves to death, but it may be possible to cry ME to death!!!!!

I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!!!!! he has to be tired!!!! why will he not go to sleep?! i have already been kicked in the nose 3 times, while he was in here with me, and he will NOT stay on the freaking bed! don't i have to take control of the situation so he knows it is bed time, he has to lay down, and go to sleep?!?!?!

or am i just supposed to let him go and run around all night til he falls over?!?!?!

i wish you all could tell me what to do!!!!!

i'm going to have to go get him in a minute, this is driving me insane!

i thought of getting a toddler bed, but it will be like now, he will NOT stay in it! so then i thought about one of those net things, but i know he will not like that either, he likes to lift the shade and look out the window. so i'm thinking of some sort of rig we can attach to the side rail to add about a foot on so he can't get out. i have some rough drafts in my head, but it is also pounding now with a vicious headache. tonight and tomorrow are going to be lovely!!!!

pray for me!!!!