~8-3-04~ Well....

i don't know what is up with my fish. he has several HUGE lumps on him. i looked and looked over the damn internet and couldn't come up with anything.

he seems to still be eating well, so hopefully i still have time. i'm hoping to get to the pet store tomorrow to see what they suggest. sigh! f-ing fish!!!! i think they are more trouble than other pets!!!! it just sucks, cause it is probably my own fault that they are sick, so then i get myself all upset and depressed. then i go and get more?! what the hell is wrong with me?! i really am getting no more after all these disappear! i'm the only one who takes care of them, and i don't even do that good of a job, so i'm done with it all. one of my guppies just had about 30 babies the other day. but out of those usually only about 2 survive, and then don't make it past a few months anyways. snails, now those are a different story! i've had an aquarium that has been unhooked, and empty of fish for months, and months now, and those bastards are still alive in there!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i keep yelling at bob to go dump them at the park in one of the ponds....will it ever happen?! you know i can't kill them!!!!!!!! so one day i'll be here with 4 empty aquariums, but they will still be up cause they are filled with snails and nothing else! UGH!

for those of you still curious about the insurance thing.........i just laid down the other day after putting clay down, and thought, those fuckers at the insurance place must not be planning on calling me even after i wrote them that "awesome letter. not even a minute after i thought that, the phone rang, and it was them. he said they wanted an itemized estimate from the contractor, blah, blah, blah.......... so i talked to my cousin, and i don't know what he is going to do. he was supposed to call me today after talking to them, but i didn't hear from him. he keeps saying that the $900 is no big deal we can work it out. yeah, that is great, but now it is just the idea that they should be paying what i need. especially after all the damn money i pay them every freaking year for the damn insurance!!!!! oh well. hopefully it will all be over soon. i just want my house done. i can't wait til it is all pretty!!

clay has his 2 year appointment tomorrow. so i'll get to see how tall he is and what he weighs. my baby is getting soooo big! i'm sort of afraid though. i don't know if it was the last time, or what, but one time we took him there, afterwards he got sick!!! so now i am all terrified to go in that damn place all festering with germs!!!!!!!!!!!! so fingers crossed, that we will be ok. and thank heavens he is done with all of his shots til he is 4. those killed me!!! i know it hurt me worse than it hurt him!

i pulled a gray hair out of my head last night!!!!!!!!! A GRAY HAIR!!!!

i seen it all shimmering in the mirror, and i was like what the hell. at first i just thought it was just a stray blond highlight, but seeing how almost all of my blonde is gone now, and this was all the way to the root, i looked closer. it sure was a gray hair!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! that scares the shit out of me. my family (mom's side) gets gray very early. i mean i don't even remember any of them without gray hair. my uncle isn't even 50 yet, and like i said as long as i can remember he has had gray hair!!!!!!! my dad on the other had, i don't even think he had any gray hairs, and if he did it was very few. so hopefully i will get that from him, and not be prematurely gray. hopefully my one was just a fluke. i did search for more, but didn't find any.......yet.

well i am done rambling.........night!