My exciting Life...yeah right! HaHa!!

is anyone thereeeeeeeeeeeeeee???????

2008-11-18T22:36:00.004-05:00

yeah, i haven't been around much huh?!

my last post was in november of 2007. actually for all of 2007 i had 5 posts! haha!

well it has been a year.....guess i will update you all, briefly.

well we bought a house, love it! not the bills that come with it, but love the house and area.

in june 2007, we finally went to see a fertility specialist. i really don't know why we waited so long!!!!!! i got pregnant on my own in june, but found out found out it was another tubal!!!! so i had to do that whole shot thing again, which scared me to death, i was terrified that the same thing was going to happen like back in 2003.

but thankfully everything went as it should, so then i had to have a laproscopy, to chek and make sure there was no damage to my only tube! i was TERRIFIED to be put to sleep!!! and they wouldn't let bob back there with me while i was waiting to go into surgery, so that sucked more!! at least the other time i was put to sleep, i really didn't know what was happeneing and i really didn't have a choice since it was have surgery or die! so i was queer, i wrote letters to all my family and friends, in case something were to happen to me.............i could have just had another HSG, but that was almost the most awful thing i have been through. my biggest fear was the "pain" i was going to feel when they put the thing into my uterus, but nooooooooooooooooo it was when they shot the dye in there!! talk about cramps and pain from hell!!!!!!!! then they expected me to roll onto my side!!!!!!!!!!!!! thank heavens when they finally drained all the stuff, but then when i sat up, i thought i was going to pass out! i have only felt like that one other time and it was the most crappy feeling. it sucked!!!! so i did NOT want to do that again!! plus with the laproscope thing, if there was any damage or scar tissue he could remove that while in there, so there was a chance i would have to have it anyways, so i just opted for that from the get go........

turned out there was some scar tissue that was pulling on my good tube, don't know if it made a difference or not. i did not get pregnant that next cycle. so then he started me on clomid, to help produce more eggs. that worked great, i had a few eggs developing on both side, so then we just decided to get IUI instead of waiting. so poor bob had to do his thing in a cup 2 more times.....i got my HCG shot on saturday, that makes you ovulate and 1 IUI procedure on sunday and one on monday($250 a pop!!). waiting the week+ to see if the test comes up positive was terrible!!! i think i took one of the early tests and woohoo, i was pregnant!!! now we just had to make sure the booger was where it was supposed to be, IN MY UTERUS already!!!!!!!!!!!!! and it made it there just fine!!!

and on July 24, 2008 we got this:

Cole Joseph Ewell
July 24, 2008 3:34 PM
8 lbs. 8 oz
19 1/2 inches

can i just bitch for a minute and say that whoever decided that the beds at the aultman maternity ward should be labor and delivery beds the WHOLE length of your stay should be strapped to one of those and then tortured, apparently it was a man!!! those are the most god awful things ever invented!!!! i would rather give birth then have to be moved to another bed, instead of being stuck on that thing for 2+ days!! i was sooooooooooooooooooooo miserable!!!! i even tried to sleep on the god awful pull out sofas they have there and those were almost as bad! i am sure bob liked that better than sleeping on the "recliner" and floor like he did when clay came, but come on!!!!!!!!!!! i am sure that hospital makes enough to give the mother and father some damn comfort, hell i am paying them enough for it!!!!!

so i will tell you all about the "nurse" in the ER who i was about to hill that day, another time. i have to get up to watch my shows........cole was up at 6am today, if not before, and i need to get to bed!

just wanted to check back in and say hopefully i will be here more often..........

take care!!

Sad day!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2007-11-03T00:05:00.001-04:00

i have had a bad day!!!!!!

today we got to tell our son that "his", meaning MY, cat had died. hit by a car. so that was awful!!

he asked where oreo was and i said heaven. so then he wanted to go visit him. SOB!!!!

then he said he was going to have someone take him real high up in the sky so he could see oreo, meaning heaven. SOB!!!!

of course I am the one upset here. even though i got these animals "for" him, they are MINE!!!! i am the one who tends to and cares for them!

i am just bitter because i have a very, very bad track record with animals. do you know in my 34 years of life that the oldest animal i have had was maybe, maybe..........6 or 7. that is a very big if!!!

since being 16 (and there were a few more before this) i have lost 9 animals!!! and in 1996 i lost my father, a month later my dog, and then within that year 3 cats!!!! that was a very bad year.

and yes, i know, they are animals, and some may think i am being very overly dramatic here............but i am the type of person who really loves their animals!! and again, YES, i know there are much worse things happening in the world, and worse things could happen to actual people, but my heart is really broken.

oreo was a wonderful cat!! he put up with so much stuff, squeezing, and grabbing and carrying and so on from clay..........but this cat would NOT run away from him, would NOT bite or scratch him......he would lay there. and this cat even SLEPT with clay!!!!

he is actually the nicest cat i have ever had! most of my cats didn't like people except me, but this was the friendliest cat ever!! he was great!!! even my mom who hates animals, said we should have had some sort of "service" for him, cause he was such a good cat!!

so here is to you oreo........i'll miss you sooooooooo much!!!!

*********for some reason i cannot add photos**********

check out http://blog.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=blog.view&friendID=72901847&blogID=324937727

well seeing all those makes me even more depressed!!!!!!

thanks for listening to my cry!!

jennifer

what the hell blogger???????

2007-10-31T12:45:00.000-04:00

well trish, i signed in to leave you a comment and just went to my profile from there, and then it let me on here to post.......

i don't know why i can't just sign in like normal?!

well hell..........i don't even know where i left off with any of you.......

i don't even know if you all know what is going on with me.......if you do you can skip down, if you don't read on, and if you don't care then, well, just don't read it then i guess..........

so we have been trying to get pregnant again forever! 3 years to be exact. it was probably about 4 years ago that i had an ectopic and lost my left tube.........

then august of 2006 i had a miscarriage....i started to see a fertility specialiast in june of this year, then in july i found out i was pregnant.......IN MY DAMN TUBE AGAIN!!!! so i had the shot that disolves it, then in august i had to have a surgery to check my right tube to make sure there was no damage from the ectopic. while there he removed scar tissue from the emergency surgery i had to have from my original ectopic, so i thought all was well.

i was very hopefully when i found out i was going to ovulate on my right in september. but NOT pregnant!!

so now i was started on clomid pills. they stimulate ovulation. so i went today for ANOTHER ultrasound and it looks as if i am going to ovulate on my right, but it is not time yet. i have to go back in 2 days......well my dr isn't down here all the time, they also have an office in akron. so of course all this is happening on the days they aren't down here.........and of course the days they aren't down here they only have morning apts!!

well i have a child in school!!!!! and damn it i don't like driving on the flippin high way, especially all the way to akron, yes, i know it is not far, but i don't care!!!

so i had to make the apt for saturday, in akron................I HAVE TO BE THERE AT 8AM!!!!!!!!!!!!

HELLO.............saturday is the day i get to sleep for my precious hearts content!!!! i soooooooooooo look forward to saturdays!!!!!!! i love bob even more BECAUSE of saturdays!!!!!!!!!!!! those of you who know me will understand all that.......

so i guess i am just here to bitch!!!! this whole trying to have a baby is wearing me down!!! to make it worse it is not like i even have the time to take a break, or take our time!!!!

i am going to be 35 this year!! and worse clay is already 5!!! i did NOT want 5 years between my kids!! i want them to be able to play together and grow up close......and i am afraid that time has already passed!!!

but bob wants another, and clay drew a picture the other day, with daddy, mommy, me (clay, and baby brother!! he want a sibling!!!

part of me wants another one for them, and part of me doesn't. i am an only child. i know the pros of that...............i also know the cons of that.

oh and also on this clomid..........you are supposed to try it like 3 or 4 times before going on to the next "treatment/procedure" which would be artificial insemination. which my insurance doesn't cover by the way.................i just want to do that damn it!!!! i don't want to have to wait 3 or 4 more times, cause for me that is like 6-8 or more tries, cause who know when i am going to ovulate on my right (you normally switch left-right-left-right). i am not a very patient person....i used to be, but i guess having kids and a husband took that away from me!!

so there........i bitched......got it all out!!!

still don't feel better!!!!

hope you all are having a better time of it than me right now!!! take care!!

HELLOOOOOOOOO OUT THERE......

2007-10-15T14:49:00.000-04:00

anyone still read this thing????

since the changes made here i have had a heck of a time signing in there.

i finally got it to work.

i may start posting again. my most recent posts have been over at myspace.

keep cheking back...........if you care!! :)

~3-25-07~ What to do?????

2007-03-25T13:25:00.000-04:00

so here i sit contemplating cleaning up this house and putting it back up for sale!

we found a house that we just LOVE!! not like our dream house that we almost had last time, but this is pretty close.

i am not showing it to ya or even going on and on about it, cause everytime i go into it on here i jinx myself. i have probably said too much already.

but, UGH, to have to make this house "showable" again........

where does all this shit come from????? we had this house so nice and not cluttered, but now.........clutter city!!!!

and now with 2 dogs, who's bright idea was that?!, my back yard is like a big mud pitt. and i just have so much junk!!!!!!!!! yet i cannot throw any of it away!! i seriously don't even think we have anymore room in our 10x15 storage place either....SERIOUSLY!!!

i just don't know what to do......the only thing that really sucks about this place is that it is about 20 minutes west of where i am now. which would suck big time having to take clay back and forth to school everyday! and he wouldn't be able to go to both schools anymore. his tuesday and thursday school starts at 9 and i pick him up at 11:20, then his everyday school starts at 11:30 and ends at 2. his first school is about 2 minutes from me (his second is about 5 minutes), so i drop him off and go home, til i have to get him to take him to the other.

but hell i can't be driving 20 min home after droping him off, the 20 min to get him to take him to his other school, then 20 min home, then 20 back to pick him up at 2.

i mean yeah, i guess that would only be for another year, then he would start kindergarden.......and i definitely don't want him going to massillon city schools, really any public school for that matter.........speaking of.......

i requested info on this private school that i wanted to check out, canton country day school..........HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA do you want to guess how much it costs for 1 year of kindergarden..................................$10,000!!!!!!! yes TEN THOUSAND DOLLARS!!!!!!!!!! i can't even imagine what the higher grades cost!!

so i am thinking that my child will be going to some public school, much to my dismay!

i have to go get this awful procedure done thursday. it is called hysterosalpingography. it is to try and find out why i am not getting pregnant!! bob took his test and he is ok, so i guess that means it is me!! so they are going to shoot dye into my uterus and fallopian tubes to see if there is any blockage. fun times!!!!!!!!!!

well, i will end this on a clay note........somehow that little fart knows my password to get on my computer!!! i had to password it cause he will get on here and download a bunch of games and shit from yahoo and everywhere else! mind you the boy has his OWN computer(yes, he is only 4!), yet wants to be on mine all the time.

so i was in bed the other day and he comes in, "mommy i was on your computer with your name" so it dawned on my that somehow he knew my password was my name and he sure enough typed it in and wa-la, he is on my computer! how i have no idea!! i have never told him what my password is......and i sure don't really let him see me type it in. i know he only has to see something one time to get it, somehow he got it! now if he would only use his powers for good instead of evil, i'd be ok!!!!

take care everyone!

testing........

2007-03-25T02:24:00.000-04:00

trying out the whole new blogger/google thing..

i do have a lot to say, since it has been a while, but it is late and i need to get to bed!!!

hopefully i will catch ya'll up this week sometime!

~12-1-06~ CUTE!!!!

2006-12-01T02:53:00.000-05:00

i thought i better start writing this stuff down. every time clay says or does something cute, i think i should write this down, then put it off, then forget......well no longer!

so on that note, here are some cute things that have came out of his mouth lately....

he always says "last morning", meaning the other day. guess he gets if from me, i always say the other day and it could have been 2 months ago, bob always laughs at me when i say the other day..

he came up to me the other day(haha), really, with a bag of cheese curls in one hand and a bag of cheetos in the other. he then told me he wanted to eat all of it so he could get FAT like me! i was like WHAT, what do you mean?? then he comes over and puts his hand over my hand, then says biggie. meaning tall. we always tell him he has to eat so he can grow big and strong. but that was nice, my 4 year old calling me fat!! yeah, i am fat buddy, and it is ALL because of YOU, mister!! mommy was nice and skinny til i carried you for 9 months!!! i didn't say that, didn't think he would understand! :)

i know there were a lot more, but it is 3am, i need to get to sleep.

i will leave you with this last funny from my mom.

she calls my cell phone and gets my VOICEMAIL

"hey, you guys there? (long pause) it is 6 o'clock (long pause) you there? (long pause), well call me later........

i have told her before, MOM it is NOT an answering machine!! i cannot hear you when you leave messages until i call and check my voice mail. but there she goes, talking and waiting for me to pick up the phone. another funny thing, half the time i AM trying to call her back, but it is busy, cause she is sitting there waiting for me to pick up the damn phone!!!!

oh my famuily!! love 'em to death!!!!

take care!

~11-21-06~ HUH????

2006-11-21T00:47:00.000-05:00

well i finally talked to my friend, where bob was the other night, and got the whole story of what went on and i am just dumb founded. well, not really.........

bob became close with her boyfriend. they watch football together on the weekends, and are actally a lot a like in some bad ways, another entry, another day....

anyways, he went over there to watch the ohio state game. at some point somehow amy and her guy, started to get into it. you'd really have to know her to know how escilated arguments can get, again another entry, another time, when i have much time. if she is right or if she is wrong.

so he was drunk, and mistook something she said, and all hell broke loose from there. they were going at it, she hit him, it was a big ole mess, and bob was sticking around trying to keep peace.

that is LONG story very short!!

that is all fine and well. that is one of the things i love about him. he will try to help people out when they need it.

my whole thing is WHY DID YOU NOT CALL HOME AND TELL ME ANY OF THIS???????????????

instead just let my mind go and wonder if you were dead or in jail or something?!?!

then i didn't even get this story from him!!!!!! i haven't even spoken to him until tonight.

when i asked him why he didn't say anything to me, he said that he was emabarrassed and disgusted with himself.

the reason he didn't tell me his reason or excuse is because he had none. there was no reason for what transpired that night.

i guess i got it, but it still seems a bit odd. unless he is taking to heart a lot of stuff that i have said to him recently. i told him sorry was no longer acceptable. he has used it too much so now it has no meaning. so he was being especially nice and attentive tonight, so i don't know........

i am just tired, and the whole thing was just fucking stupid! especially since the people we are talking about are all in our 30's!! what the hell??

yes, i may get bored with my life sometimes, but i do not want any kind of drama like that. thank you god for the boredom!!!!

**an update on the dogs. you would not believe how long it took them to finally go outside!!! they wanted none of it! it was too funny. i doubt that it taught them a lesson, cause 1, they are dogs and 2, they are male, sorry for you guys that that don't apply too, just talking in general here.........

anyways, they did not go out until about 10-11 this evening!

and to mike to answer your question from myspace. the reason i gave them money is cause i think it is WONDERFUL what they do. if i had the space and means i would definitely open a rescue shelter. i cannot even stomach the humane (NOT) society or the pound. i just don't see how they can just get a dog for a week, then his time is up and down it goes. breaks my heart!!! i love that these people go to those awful places and rescue the "death row" pup and kitties.

and to comment to someone from people magazine that wrote(in response to rescue shelters) "instead of providing housing, the shelters should put their energy into spaying and neutering", that is exactly what rescue shelters do! all the ones i have looked into, they will not adopt out a dog or cat unless they have been fixed first!! no exceptions! the non-humane society give you some voucher or credit, but really, i don't half the people follow through, so there is no guarantee they they are getting them fixed.

i got bernie through a rescue shelter. i drove almost an hour away to get him. and it did cost more, to cover expenses that they incur, but i didn't mind. when i was looking for him, it broke my heart to see all the HUNDREDS AND HUNDREDS of animals that needed homes on petfinder.com. and that was just in my little area!!! very sad!! then again i am a softie!

well it is a school day tomorrow, so i need to get to bed. 7am comes WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY toooooooooooooooo early for me!!!!

take care!

~11-20-06~ Lost and found

2006-11-21T00:45:00.000-05:00

blogger was down for a bit, so i updated my blog over at myspace.

i hope this link works. http://blog.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=blog.view&friendID=72901847&blogID=195561360&Mytoken=2984B36D-AC10-4585-8CE56807D6BB29B820543807

~11-19-06~ Watch what you bitch about.........

2006-11-19T13:15:00.000-05:00

well after all my bitching my dogs are GONE!!!!!!!!! if i bitch about my husband will he be gone too?? i'll try it, one can hope!!!!!!!!!!!

the stupid fucking white one got out, like usual. he was across the street, so i called for him, he actually comes when called, but just as he got to the porch, my cat darted out, then bernie darted out too. once bernie is out he is gone, so the white one just followed!

and i was stuck!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! why you ask???????? because my husband was NOT home. he did NOT come home last night!! real nice, no call, no nothing.......lovely.

i couldn't chase after them, for one i was in my pajamas, and for 2 i had clay, who was also in his pajamas.

so i had to call my mom to come and get clay. then finally at almost noon, bob decides to call...........

how is it his fault, blah, blah, if it was monday and they got out i'd be at work, blah, blah, blah.........well the FACT is, is that it is NOT monday and you are NOT at work, which means you should be at HOME doing your job being a husband and father. but you are NOT!!!!!!!!!!

so i went out driving around, and when he got home he did too. then we just went otu walking and calling. nothing!!!!!!!!!

where the fuck can these dogs be?!?!?!?!?!?

and NO they didn't have collars on and NO they don't have tags.........yes even better no?????????

the cat did come back in, he aparently is smarter than the rest, it is damn cold and raining out!!!!!!!!

where are my dogs?????????????

they may not want to come back, cause if and when they do, kozar's ass is going to be TIED the fuck up from now on and hate it!!! sorry for him. which really not his fault, he is a dog, and he is doing dog things, but christ!!!!

i am sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo sick of taking care of everybody and everything, but not getting the same in return!!!!!!!

a little consideration and respect would be nice!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! from at least one human/animal in this damn house!!!!!!!!!!!!

i am fed the fuck up with all of it!!!!!!!!!!!!

i'll let you know how it goes.........wish me luck!!!!!!!!!

~11-17-06~ Borrowed, not stolen

2006-11-17T01:43:00.000-05:00

i stole this from tracey, from myspace

10 firsts.
First real boyfriend/girlfriend: John Burlingame
First plane ride: I was 5, family trip to hawaii
First concert: michael jackson, actually it was the jackson's victory tour
First car: ford exp
First best friend: that i can really remember, molly
First make out kiss: John Burlingame
First big crush: Scot Decker
First music: ?
First stuffed animal: that i remember, an orange dog i named rusty
First Halloween costume: ?

9 last.
Last alcoholic beverage: been a while, probably an alabama slammer
Last kiss: today, a married kiss..those that are married, knows whatthat is
Last phone call: mom
Last cd played: ?? i don't listen much
Last bubble bath: 1999, really!
Last time you cried: a few days ago
Last relationship: still going

8 have you evers.
Have you ever dated one of your best friends: no, but he became my best friend
Have you ever skinny dipped: no
Have you ever kissed somebody and regretted it: yes
Have you ever fallen in love: a few times
Have you ever lost someone you loved: yes
Have you ever been depressed: yes
Have you ever mooned someone: no

7 states you've been to
1. hawaii
2. virginia
3. pennsylvania
4. north carolina
5. maryland
6. ohio of course...stuck here!
7.

6 things you've done today.
1. yelled
2. lost my temper
3. cooked
4. ebay'd
5. blogged
6. went to walmart

5 favorite things (in no order).
1. my son
2. my husband
3. my family
4. sleeping past noon
5. eating

4 people you can tell anything to (in no order).
1. bob
2. molly
3. amy
4. dawna

3 wishes.
1. I wish I could have my dad back
2.I wish I could have my grandma back
3.I wish I could win the lotto

2 things you want to do before you die.
1. be debt free
2. have a happy family

1 thing you regret.
1. i regret not having more "grown up" conversations with my dad. just a lot of stuff i never really thought to talk about at the time, now he is gone and the opportunity is gone.

~11-7-06~ Been a long time.........

2006-11-08T00:05:00.000-05:00

hello.....yes it has been quite some time.

it has been busy here. not really, but with a crazy 4 year old boy running around, it sure feels busy!!!! i do not know how my cousin handled 4, only years apart from each other!! boys are nuts!!!!

but things here are going well, for the most part. the update on the stitches. they were only in for about 5 days, and we had to get them removed. that was just as awful as getting them in!!! of course my poor child was terrified, which i don't blame him!!!!!!!!!

but how awful is it that people are telling you you have to put your child down and you have to let go of him, when he is crying, and screaming for you and NOOOOOOOOOO. it was bad, and again, i had many, many tears shed that day!!! but it really was painless. he was just scared from his previous experience, again, totally understandable!!!

we got his school pictures back, and if i may say he is just as handsome as can be!!! and he even smiled!!! god, i wish he would do that in the pictures that i try and take of him!!!

CLICK ON IT!!! the big version is just soooooooo much cuter than this little thumbnail!!!!

it didn't scan too well....i don't know why i can't ever get that to work right. but i was very pleased with it!

more on clay. i don't know if you read me alot or not, but i have often mentioned about clay and his talking, or lack there of. well in this last year, the child has improved so much!!! well i got a call from the preschool and they had concerns. well of course i was a bit upset. i mean who wants to think that their child has a "problem". so they set up some testing through the city schools, and it was deemed that he did indeed need some form of speech therapy.

so i just spoke with the lady today about the different options that we have to get him into some therapy. we could take him to the lady who does this and work out some schedule, or he can attend public preschool, and she will just come to his class every week and work with him. im PUBLIC PRESCHOOL????????????? how was i not aware of this?!?!?!?!?!?!!? all the busting of ass i did to try and find a preschool, let alone one we could actually afford, and there is PUBLIC PRESCHOOL?!?!?!?!?!?!?!

so i am thinking of switching his school. there are some MAJOR pluses here!!! firstly, because i am a lazy ass, this is an afternoon class, from 11:30-2:30, which i wanted in the first place!!!! i guess not so much as lazy, but definitely NOT A MORNING PERSON! secondly, since i am a cheap ass, this is FREE!!!!!!!!!!!!!! FREE!!!!!!! now i am paying $105 a month for 2 days a week!!! thirdly, this is for 5 days a week!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! yes, at first i did not want 5 days, i couldn't imagine being away from him for 2 days a week, but seriously, this child is driving me nuts with all the energy he has and no way to burn it except to drive mom up a wall, so i am LOVING the prospect that he gets to get out of the house 5 days a week!!!!

i also think that may actually help him with his talking and his awkwardness with strangers. i mean, we really see NOONE except each other almost 24/7. yes my mom visits and takes him on saturdays for a bit, and my grandpa comes over some times, but really other than that, all he spends his time with is me!!!!!!! yes, bob is here too, but since he works all day, it is just me!!!!!!! so i guess it is to say that he has not had much of a chance to actually develop his social skills.

they other good thing about switching to the public school, is that indeed the lady will come to his class to work with him every week. there will be no, checking her schedule, and our schedule, and trying find time we both have. so that will be great! i am really excited!

we are going there on friday to meet the teacher, the speech lady and to see the class. fingers crossed this will be what is best for him!!!!!!!!!!!

we went to the dentist on monday. to my dentist, can i please say, FUCK YOU very much!!!!! he told me, oh kids don't need to come in til they are 4,5, 6 years old. ok, well all these damn sites i am reading NOW, say that as soon as your child has all his teeth he should see a dentist!!! and guess what????????????? my child has 3 cavities!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! that could have totally been prevented!!!! well, not guaranteed, but they can put a sealer on their teeth to prevent cavities!!!! nice to know now!!!!! i am so pissed!!! and i didn't mention, but the dentist visit went AWFUL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i think he still may be freaked by the whole stitches thing! he didn't much like laying down on his back. then whenever the lady went to clean his teeth.....FREAK OUT!!!!!!!!!!! cry.......scream!!! so we were moved to a private room. she finally got a bit done. then the dentist got to look at his teeth, barely!!!!!!!!!!!! but that was it, we couldn't do xrays, and the whole flouride treatment, i doubt worked, cause he had the stuff in his mouth for about 2.3 seconds before he shot up crying!!!! so, didn't go too well!!!! we are to go back in 6 months. he said the cavities weren't that bad, but to make sure we brush good and do the flouride rinse. so now i feel awful that i gave my child cavities!!! yes, he eats a lot of junk and drinks some pop, but really i don't think he does it excessively! i really do think we just have weak teeth or thin teeth, whatever. i mean there was not a time in my teeth having life that i have ever NOT had a cavitiy!! i am serious! i think it runs in our family and now my poor kid is going to have to suffer!!!! and how the hell is he going to sit for some fillings?!?! a guy bob works with, his neice, she is about 4, just had to have 3 caviites filled and they put her to sleep!!!!!!!!!!! i don't think i would like that. i would be scared to death! but if it comes to that i don't really think there will be a choice. i don't see my child sitting for any of that nonsense!!

lovely day that was........followed by him locking my keys and my purse in the car at the post office!!!! lovely, lovely day that was!! good times, good times!! :)

in other news, my dogs are still driving me bat shit!!! they are wonderful with each other, and i know they are thankful for each other, but they are still damn hyper!!!!!!!!!! i cannot, CANNOT stand dogs that jump up on you when you come in a damn door!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! and these 2 sure do!!!!!!!!!! i even when i just let them in from going out to pee, you'd think they haven't seen me in 7 days!!!!! and the new one............chews the fuck out of everything!!!!!!!!!!!!!! EVERYTHING!!!!!!!!!!! that is getting very old!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! if there were a way to remove his teeth, i may actually consider it!!!!! seriously!!!!!!!

this beautiful old house that is sort of beside me, i wrote of it before, where the daughter had to put the mother in a home, was just bought at auction. are you ready to be sick...........................he paid $25,000!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! this house is beautiful and has sooooooooooo much potential!!! it happens i know the guy and he is in construction, so he is totally redoing everything!!! and i do mean everuthing! i wish i would have been taking photos, it is amazing!!!!!!! the sucky part.......well, bob was talking to him tonight and he is going to put it up for about $85,000!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! that is with NEW EVERYTHING!!!!!!!!!!!!

i was hoping he would list in in the 90,000's so then when we list ours again we could still be up in the 80,000's, but fuck, if he is listing at 85,000, what does that mean we are going to have to list ours at?!?!?!? 70,000's????? that won't work!!!!! we NEED more than that!!!!

so he bought it for 25,000, told bob he was going to put about 35,000 into it, so that is 60,000m then sell it for 85,000........so he is making 25,000 right there. just sucks!!!!!! just proves you have to HAVE money to make money!!!!!!!

*****to prove a point, my dog was just eating staples!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

what else is new around here...................had to put about $900 into my car, surprise, surprise! i swear as soon as i get them damn people paid off, something comes up and i have to go back there and charge some more!!!!!

been getting the hang of ebay. my elmo ended up going for like $122!! not bad for only paying $35 for him.

i also sold a few other things. the surprise was that i sold a broken x-box, yes they new it was broken, for like $58! i started it at .99. guess they all know something i don't!! sold some shoes, a crib bedding set, some other video game stuff.....i probably made about $100. i know it doesn't seem like much, but i sure was excited. i still have a TON of my clothes to put up and i am beaking down and putting up clay's too! maybe if i actually sell everything then i will get pregnant!!!!

well, before i go i would like to ask for prayers and well wishes for my cousin:

Baby has brain damage after shaking; mom’s boyfriend jailed
Thursday, November 2, 2006
By Lori Monsewicz REPOSITORY STAFF WRITER

AKRON The baby severely injured last week while in the care of his mother's boyfriend is suffering from brain damage from being shaken, according to his mother.
The extent of the damage is still being determined.

"The family is devastated by this tragic event. Horrible events like this occur often, but no one ever thinks that it could happen to their child," Jennifer Jamerson said in a statement released to the media.

The recovery of 10-month-old Nathaniel Jamerson "will be determined by his strength and the prayers of those who love him," Jamerson said.

The infant has been in critical condition since he was hurt at her home at 1331 Logan Ave. NW on Friday. He was left in the care of her boyfriend while she worked.

Eric Kugelman, 26, who lived with her, remained in the Stark County Jail on Wednesday under $100,000 bond on a felony endangering children charge and $10,000 bond on an unrelated domestic violence charge.

Canton detectives have said Kugelman is charged with having caused Nathaniel Jamerson's injuries.

In her statement, Jamerson said that doctors have told her that the brain damage and other injuries the baby suffered are associated with shaken baby syndrome.

"At this time, Nathan has been removed from the medicine that was keeping him sedated."

Her statement also asks people to pray.

"The family asks that you keep them in your prayers and make yourself more aware of whom you are allowing your children to spend time with. If only you take a step back and see your life as others would see it, you could prevent tragedy from happening to your family."

When the baby was injured, police already had a warrant to arrest Kugelman for a misdemeanor domestic violence charge involving the baby's mother. The charge stemmed from a Sept. 20 argument when he grabbed her by the arm and pushed her into furniture, police reports said.

The charge stemming from the baby's injuries is a second-degree felony. If convicted, Kugelman could get up to eight years in prison.

i don't really know her, and i cannot even imagine what she is going through. it has to be the most awful pain!!!

so please send out some extra thoughts and prayers for her little guy, her, and all of her family!! thank you!!

got this from jill

2006-10-18T01:42:00.000-04:00

You Are More Like Angelina Jolie

Bad girl with a heart of gold.
You are smart, sexy, and strong willed.
You aren't against stealing another girl's man...
If he's better off with you!

Are You More Like Jennifer or Angelina?

got this from trish

2006-10-18T01:37:00.000-04:00

Kermit the Frog
You scored 66% Organization, 45% abstract, and 74% extroverted!

This test measured 3 variables.

First, this test measured how organized you are. Some muppets like Cookie Monster make big messes, while others like Bert are quite anal about things being clean.

Second, this test measured if you prefer a concrete or an abstract viewpoint. For the purposes of this test, concrete people are considered to gravitate more to mathematical and logical approaches, whereas abstract people are more the dreamers and artistic type.

Third, this test measured if you are more of an introvert or an extrovert. By definition, an introvert concentrates more on herself and an extrovert focuses more on others. In this test an introvert was somebody that either tends to spend more time alone or thinks more about herself.

You are mostly organized, both concrete and abstract, and more extroverted.

Here is why are you Kermit the Frog.

You are both somewhat organized. You have a good idea where you put things and you probably keep your place reasonably clean. You aren't totally obsessed with neatness though. Kermit is also reasonably tidy. He'll even dress up for interviews.

You both are sometimes concrete and sometimes abstract thinkers. Kermit spends a lot of his time as a reporter collecting facts, but he is also the author of the dreamy song "The Rainbow Connection." You have a good balance in your life. You know when to be logical at times, but you also aren't afraid to explore your dreams and desires... within limits of course.

You are both extroverts. Kermit gets along with everyone. Sure a few folks annoy him, but that's just because they are annoying. Kermit likes to meet new people when he does his job as a street reporter. You definitely enjoy the company of others, and you don't have problems meeting new people... in fact you probably look forward to it. You are willing to take charge when necessary or work as part of a team.

Oh, and in case you were wondering, Kermit starred on Sesame Street years before The Muppet Show.

The other possible characters are
Oscar the Grouch
Big Bird
Snuffleupagus
Ernie
Elmo
Cookie Monster
Grover
The Count
Guy Smiley
Bert

If you enjoyed this test, I would love the feedback! Also if you want to tell me your favorite Sesame Street character, I can total them up and post them here. Perhaps your choice will win!

My test tracked 3 variables How you compared to other people your age and gender:

You scored higher than 63% on Organization

You scored higher than 17% on concrete-abstra

You scored higher than 79% on intro-extrovert

Link: The Your SESAME STREET Persona Test written by greencowsgomoo on OkCupid Free Online Dating, home of the The Dating Persona Test

~10-03-06~ Worst day of my life!!!

2006-10-03T01:27:00.000-04:00

today was bad!!!!!!!

i meanit is bad enough that my baby is sick. i had to take him to the doctors on friday cause he was crying that his ear hurt. he already had a cold, and now has an ear infection. damn preschool and their germs!!!!!!!!!

so anyways...........then today, THIS:

I DON'T KNOW WHAT HAPPENED!!!!!

my friend molly and her daughter came over to play and they just spent a good 1/2 hour or more jumping on his bed and doing crazy shit, nothing hurt at all! they went downstairs, weren't down there for 5 minutes and i heard a scream and him crying!

all i got was that he hit it on his little table, but i have no idea how. he doesn't ever tell you anything and all marisa said was that he was playing.

the bleeding stopped pretty quickly and there wasn't much. so i was hoping and praying that he would not need stitches. so as soon as bob came home and looked he was like DEFINITELY! so i was all fuck!!!! and i actually should have took his advice and just stayed home, but i couldn't let my child go through something like that without his mother!!!!

to cut down on the story. we got back there, had a wonderful "nurse" not sure what she is, but she told us this whole story...

the nurse was going to come in with some special snow from santa claus. she was going to put it on his cut and he wouldn't feel a thing, and then they were going to put some magic string on his eye and make everything all better and he wouldn't even feel a thing.........

well the putting on of the snow, went shitty. took them forever and my child was screaming.

so then the lady came back with a little doll with a boo boo on his eye and she showed him what was going to happen. yeah.............

so the guy comes in and he wiped clays eye.......clay is screaming!!!

he does the first stitch my child is SCREAMING IN PAIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

AT THIS POINT I AM ABOUT TO JAPSMACK EVERYONE WHO IS IN THE FUCKING ROOM. I WAS JUST ABOUT TO SAY I THOUGHT THIS SHIT WASN'T GOING TO HURT AND HE COULDN'T FEEL A THING, I COULD TELL HE DEFINITLEY FELT THAT!!!

so then the guy said they were going to have to give him a shot to numb him, cause he isn't numb.

WHAT THE FUCK YOU STUPID FUCKERS!!!! IS THERE NOT A WAY YOU COULD HAVE TESTED THAT BEFORE YOU PUT A FUCKING NEEDLE THROUGH MY SONS SKIN?!?!?!?!?!?!?!

so at this point he is screaming mom, i am bawling, but not trying to let him know. i told bob i hated him for making me bring him to the hospital for all this shit.

it was horrendous!!!!! after the shot though, i think the cries were just from being scared and "feeling" the pull, but not pain.

then as i am crying trying to hold my child down, but reassure him that it was almost done and he was doing so good, some nurse came over and asked if she wanted me to hold him. hell no bitch. i am going to be there for him!!!!

it was all just fucking retarded. so even about 10-15 minutes after everything. i am still sitting there crying, while my child is all happy eating a popscicle running up and down the damn hallway of the er!!!!!!! i am definitely tramatized, he, not so much!!!!!

but it was awful!!!!!!!!!!!

just proof........here is a chocolate milk mustache smile

then we had to wait for at least a half hour afterwards to get the hell out of there. i hate that more than anything!!!!!!!!!

that is half the reason i was letting my child run the halls, i was hoping they would get tired of us and let is the hell out.

i might also add that i felt like an ass, when about 20 people asked clay what happened to his eye.

clay gives his usual answer to everything, "i don't know" then looks at me. so i am thinking, ok are these people thinking that i did this?!?!?!?!?! that was just an awful feeling too!!!

so is this what i have to look forward to with having a boy???????????? lord, i don't think i am going to make it!!!!

right now my dog, kozar, and my cat, oreo, are both chasing a fly!!! i have never seen a dog chase a fly and it is damn funny!!!!

so now i am debating on taking clay to school tomorrow or not. i already was debating before the whole eye thing. i called his doctor and she said yes he is contagious, but it is totally up to me if i want to send him. i looked in my preschool hand book and the only thing they said about sickness was basically throwing up, diareahh, or green snot............

well he has none of that. he is stuffy and has a small cough. so i don't know. what i do know is that I would be pissed if someone sent there kid to school like that and got my kid sick.....so i really don't want to do that to someone else.

so i don't know. i just want him to get better. he has his first play day at school on thursday and i really, really want him to go. so i want him to be better for that. that is where he stays after til 2 and gets to play.

i am hoping that on those days i can finally get my ebay stuff up and running. i need $$$$$$. i have still been going crazy at walmart. i really need to stop!!!!!

especiallly since we found THIS!!!!!!

is that not awesome!!! BUT did you see the taxes!!!!!!!!!! that is a HALF!!!!! i even looked it up on the auditor site, hoping they mistakenly put for the whole year. NOPE, no mistake!!! so that is like $300 a month JUST IN TAXES!!!!!

so now we were throwing around putting our house up again now. which i just do not want to do. i can't take the whole showing bullshit!!! i just wish i already had someone that knows what it is like and wants it!!! and is willing to pay what we want. and it is not even just that we want it, we NEED so much for a down payment. we aren't trying to be greedy and have extra $$. but it is beautiful, isn't it?!?!?!?!

i want it sooooooooooooooooooo bad!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

oh well........at least my baby is ok. so i guess it wasn't such a horrible day after all.

take care!!

P.S.

2006-09-22T02:11:00.000-04:00

his name is kozar........

so now all of our "children" are named after the browns

clay, for clay matthews

bernie, for bernie kosar

and KOZAR for bernie kosar.

can you tell my husband is a browns freak?!

~9-22-06~ LOOKEY-LOOKEY

2006-09-22T02:02:00.000-04:00

look what i got!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

of course i fell in love before i found out that he is not housebroken! JOY!!!!! and not fixed!!!!

but so far he is wonderful. he and bernie have been playing ALL NIGHT!!!! ever since i brought him home i think they have rested for about 1/2 hour!

but now the canine is down at thte bottome of my steps barking cause he will NOT come up!!!! i don't know if we freaked him out with the bath earlier or what?! but it is getting ridiculous! he will sit there and start like he wants to, then turns around. i went down to carry him up and he freaked! i got him 4 steps from the top, and instead of just going 4 up, he turned and wenT THE 10 down! what the hell?!

speak of the devil.....he just came up!!! FINALLY!!!! more places for him to pee!!! oh boy!!!! my mom is probbaly right, i am nuts!!!

anyways, he is wonderful with the cats, he hardly even pays attention to them! unlike bernie, who bounces as soon as they are in his eye sight. and they aren't even hiding, they have been out and about all night with him here.

clay likes him too. he does do the damn jumping up on you like bernie still does...hopefully that will end soon!!! that is the only thing i hate about dogs!!! well the peeing in the house first, then the jumping. if i get those 2 things cured i will be fine.

but we love him!!! he is soooooooooo cute!!! i love the 2 colored eye thing! if you click the picture, you can see it better in the bigger picture.

i already made a vet appt for tomorrow, so hopefully he is in as good of health as he is in spirit!

take care!!!

~9-20-06~ MySpace

2006-09-20T01:58:00.000-04:00

i have ventured onto myspace.

nothing real exciting, i am still trying to figure it all our

here is my url: http://www.myspace.com/theewells

~9-11-06~ WOW!

2006-09-11T01:02:00.000-04:00

it was weird just typing that date!

sure does bring back some memories! how sad!

and i just got on to bitch about how sick i am. now my problems seem miniscule.

i don't know if it was germs from clay's school, or if it was from having the windows open at night, now that it is cool, but i am sick!!!!

sort of like bronchitis. i used to get it ALL the time!!!! a few times a year as a matter of fact. that sucked!!! then i was fine, didn't get it again until i was pregnant...that time it turned into pnemonia. i don't think i have had it since then. and not really this time either. i started taking medicine right away. and i just had my inhaler renewed. so i couldn't breathe for a few days. PLUS on top of that i started bleeding! just in time for my cycle, but it hasn't really got bad, so i don't know if it is an actual period or what. but my belly sure hurt on saturday!!

anyways, another day or 2 and i should be back to normal. i busted my butt the whole weekend though, trying to get clay's new room finally done!

it was first supposed to be done by his brithday (aug 27th), then for the start of school (sept 5th), now i am shooting for next week. hopefully one more weekend and i'll have it all done! i really kicked butt this weekend though, sick and all, i pulled it out.

i can't wait to show you all pictures! i know i still owe pictures from his birthday and first day of school! i'm getting there!!

i'm off to bed. can't smoke, so i need to just go to sleep!! good night! and remember

God bless America!!

~9-4-06~ My baby is now 4!!!!

2006-09-04T02:47:00.000-04:00

well, last weekend, my baby turned 4. FOUR YEARS OLD!!!!! i can't even believe that!!!!

we had his party on saturday. and of course it couldn't all go down without some neighbor drama!!!!!

well back at the shoot out in december (check the back posts), i let them use my chairs for their party. well i have never got them back!!! not to mention the 4 other green ones that i lent them before that and also NEVER got back! the reason they needed them is because their garage door opener is broken, so they cannot get the door up, and there is no access from the house.

so anyways.....i have been asking for my chairs since the beginning of the month. somehow now my chairs are stuck in this garage. HELLO, the reason they borrowed mine was because theirs were stuck in the garage!!!! anyways, so finally she came down the monday before the party. she said someone is supposed to be coming this week to get in the garage door. she even brought up about giving my money for chairs, blah, blah, blah.......

then the next thing i know she asked if we were still sponsering tasa. we were like huh?! then she said that tasa has us down as sponsers for her miss teen ohio pagent. so i was like, how much is that???????? she said whatever you can give. i was like, ok, bob gets paid thursday. then she left.

so then friday comes and one of them came to the door during dinner. so i yell ask for my chairs, then bob comes in with a letter, from the mom, to me. something to the effect that they still haven't beeb able to get to the chairs, she will send her son down with the chairs she does have in the house....then money to sponser tasa can be made by cash or a check made out the the mother, and i quote, "she is only $40 dollars away from her goal"

so, no sooner did i read the letter there is a knock at the door again, the youngest again, wanting to know my answer......huh?!?!?! my answer to what??????????

i said if you want a check i'll give it to you when the son brings my chairs down!!

so then they bring the chairs. which by the way i know are mine, at least 3 of them are mine for sure. then i gave them a check for $10. if they actually thought i was going to give them a check for $40 they are more nuts than i thought!!!!

so then about 15 minutes later, they bring the check back, saying that she made her sponser goal. what???????????? this all took place in less than a half hour! so whatever! i don't know if they were pissed that they didn't get $40, so they wanted none, who knows?!

so skip to the day of the party. the youngest comes over early and says that she doesn't know if they are going to be able to get something for clay. i don't know, she talks low and half the time i don't know what she was talking about. i had cleaning to do, so i went about getting ready for the party.

so people come, full house, then they show up. only 3 of them...the 3 oldest girls, 21 (and her daughter 2), 15, 11. so the 21 goes, i felt weird coming cause i didn't have time to get a gift, or something.......i don't know, i didn't even respond. granted that a party isn't all about the gifts, but come the fuck on! how do you go to a party without a gift?!?!?!?!?!

whatever.....so i tell everyone who is already there, to go ahead and eat. so people are eating, next thing i know, i go in the kitchen and they are wrapping up a bunch of food!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i am like what the fuck?!?!?!

then my mom gets me and tells me to hide the food, so they don't take anymore. i blew her off......next thing i know they are wrapping up more food!!!! then the 15 year old has the nerve to say her mom asked if i would make her a plate to send home. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!!?!?!?!?!?

so me being non confrontational, and such a push over, i don't say anything. it is time for the cake.

so i cut the cake. give everyone theirs. asks if anyone else needs cake.....no, ok, so i get mine, go in the kitchen to get some milk, come back in the dining room and SHE IS THERE CUTTING MORE CAKE AND PUTTING IT ON PLATES TO TAKE HOME!!!!!!!!!!!

at this point i just went outside, cause i was waaaaaay beyond, what the fuck.

after we were outside for a bit, she comes to the door and says some lady in there is asking if i am going to hand out the goody bags. i just looked at her. like any of my family is going to ask that. by the way they already asked about the goody bags a few short minutes after they were there.

so then my mom comes and tells me to give them the damn bags so maybe they will leave.

so i go and i give one to the 11 year old, and one for the younger sister, 1 to the 21 year old for her daughter, and against my original plan i gave one to the 15 year old.

so they came out for a bit, then said their goodbyes.

so a bit after i came back in and my aunt told me they took more goody bags!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

i had 16 bags made out. i handed out 6 bags. guess how many i had left...........

6!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! THEY TOOK 4 MORE BAGS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

then about 10 minutes later came back and asked for a bag for her mom and her brother!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i DID say no!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! didn't say what i wanted to say, but i did say no!

who in the world has that nerve?!?!?!? and you really can't blame those girls. if that is how they were taught growing up!!!!!!

so i had to hear it from my family all day!!! oh well, i am sooooo over those people. really!!!

on to the good stuff. clay had a great day!!! he got a ton of nice stuff. and even though i wasn't going to spend money on him, except for his school clothes, i broke down and bought him one of those motorized cars. it is just a little one, since we don't have much room in our yard. but it is a huge hit. he loves it!!!!

i do have pictures to show you all, but i have to edit them, they all have the red eye for some reason.

then tuesday, in a day....my baby starts school!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i am really stressing!!! i know it is only 2 days a week, for 2 1/2 hours, but i am going to miss him. i know he going to have fun, but i am going to miss seeing him have the fun!!!

i am planning on being productive though. i have a ton of stuff i want to start listing on ebay. so i am going to use that alone time to get that all up and running.

so there is what i have been up to!! hope you all have been well. i'll post some pictures soon!

~8-23-06~ Kind of left ya hanging.........

2006-08-23T00:08:00.000-04:00

sorry about that! just been one of weeks r 2!

i did miscarry apparently.

when i first found out i was pregnant, my hcg levels were 45, then sunday at the hospital they were down to 18, that following monday they were 16.

so the biggest concern now is that they go down to 0 and there is no sign of the pregnancy left anywhere............

that said, i have totally forgot about it, well, not it, but i was supposed to go monday and get my levels checked again.

i just finally stopped bleeding! starting tuesday it was horrible! thank goodness it only lasted a week. my friend knows someone who had the same thing happen and she said she has been bleeding since june!!! i even read that it could take up to 8 weeks to have a miscarriage naturally.

so back to the drawing board i guess!! it sucks cause now i don't know if i am going to go back to my regular cycle or what, which means we will probably have to wait another month to try again, so i can find out what my cycle is doing!!

it has been hectic here. we started, the saturday before all this happened, to move clay's room to the bigger spare room. we have been working on that all this past weekend. i want it done before he starts school (sept 5th). so that was a major pain in the ass. i forgot how much i hate painting, the i realized that painting is 10000000000 times better than wallpapering!!!!!!!!!! hate!!!!!

what is even worse right now is that the spare bedroom, was basically a store it all for all my crap! so that is now strewn all over the rest of the upstairs, since we had to clear it out to paint and all that good stuff. you can't even move in my upstairs!

to make things even better, this saturday is clay's 4th birthday party!!! and my house is tore the fuck up!! monday we did a little more on it, tonight we had doggie school, so nothing got done, tomorrow we have open house at clay's school, so nothing is going to get done............then saturday, the day of his party, which will be crazy with my running around to get everything done, is the day that clay gets to go to orientation at school!!!! OH and i also have no car right now. i thought the patch that i got on my muffler about 4 years ago was coming off, my car was getting loud. then on my way home from the store today it was REAL loud!! when i pulled into my garage i heard a scrapping, so i got out and looked.....my muffler was just hanging there!!!! great!!!! i am sure this is going to cost!!!!!!

all i want to do is catch up!!!!! guess i should just stay my ass out of walmart!!! i am getting really bad about that!!! i am there at least 3 times a week, and i cannot get out of that place without spending at least $100! it is ridiculous!!! as soon as this party is over and i finish christmas shopping. i only have 4 people left to buy for, i swear i am cutting up my credit card! i am down to one, which is good, but i have put so much on it in the last month or so.....i'm just gonna chuck it.....actually i'll give it to my mom, that way, i will need a pretty damn good excuse for her to give it back to me.

so, anyways, i don't know how my house is going to get presentable for guests! thank goodness everyone knows i am not too neat anyways!

we were also supposed to start a new sleep schedule this week, to get clay used to school hours. that is not going too well. he is fighting sleep to the death!!!!!!!!!!!!! which drives me nuts, then he is up at the crack of dawn (to me at least, 7am) that really isn't a bad thing, cause that is what time we are going to have to get up for school. but i guess this morning i was a bit cranky. i don't remember, bob was on me about it, i guess i said something about locking him in his room! ha! i kind of do remember, i remember i was trying to get him to come and lay in bed with me, but he was up with enough energy as about 5 million gallons of coffee. me, NOT!!!! still not the morning person! still can't get to bed before 2am! actually it is me that needed this new sleep schedule, and i am failing miserably!!!!!!!!!!!!

so that is it.............thank for the comments heather! sorry it took so long to update!

~8-13-06~ Please excuse my pity party

2006-08-13T21:05:00.000-04:00

well blogger fucked me again!!!!!!!!!!!

i think there is some sort of jinx here.........

i think i am miscarrying. i went and spent ALL DAY in the ER. and i mean all damn day! from like 1 to 6, and what did i find out????

NOT A FUCKING THING!!!! i have to go see my ob tomorrow.

what the fuck is that?! i am sooooooooo pissed! what was the point of me sitting there waiting for the blood work to come back if they weren't going to tell me the results?!?!?!

they will be hearing about that tomorrow, that is bullshit! so meanwhile we have to sit, wait, and worry til tomorrow!!!

i am pretty sure that is what it is though.

the bleeding by itself wouldn't really bother me, but my boobs have totally STOPPED hurting. i mean not one bit!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! and the pain they were in the past few days, and all of my last pregnancy...........i think that is the biggest indicator that it is no more.

so, yeah, i don't know why life is against me. meanwhile my friend is pregnant, not married and not even sure who the father is....no real means to support another child, and then my nail girl is pregnant again, not married, and her boyfriend just graduated high school. i don't know how she is going to support another child as well. and here i am....married, financially ok, ready and trying to have a baby and i CANNOT!!!! aaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!

and yes, i am aware and happy that i do have 1. i know there are many people out there who cannot even have that and i am sorry for them, but this is MY pity party here, so it is all about me!!!!!!!!!!!

it just sucks......and i should have just stuck to the whole not telling anyone til i knew everything was ok. but nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo. clay was talking about the baby the other day. so that is going to suck if he remembers and brings it up again.

i was already getting tired of the trying to get pregnant......this may have just pushed me to the fuck it i am done stage!!!! i really don't want to go through this anymore! the disappointment sucks!! and not so much for me, but i am totally heartbroken for bob.

so there...get out the violins......play them for me and bring the cheese.......

~8-10-06~ Well here IT is!!!!!!!!!!

2006-08-10T20:17:00.000-04:00

CAN YOU BELIEVE THAT?!?!?!?!

we have only been trying for what, like a year now!!!!

still not out of the woods yet though......i had some blood tests today, have to again monday, and then an ultrasound on the 21st! hopefully this little buger is where it is supposed to be this time!!!

i'm trying not to get my hopes up til we find out things are in the right spot...then i can continue to worry month to month, like a normal pregnancy!

just thought i would share! see i didn't jinx myself by saying that i thought i may be last friday! a-ha!!

blog snap

2006-07-26T01:38:00.000-04:00

blog snap
Originally uploaded by bobbysgirlonly.

thanks trish, for the great site that created this!!

this is great! it has all the important people in my life, plus it has all the cuss words as well!!!! i'd say it is spot on! i'm surprised fuck isn't in big bold letters though! ha!

~7-17-06~ What I've been up to........

2006-07-17T01:32:00.000-04:00

well not too much going on here. same old, same old.

we did decide to go away over bob's vacation. we went down past columbus, to hocking hills area.

we stayed in a wonderful cabin (house). Salt Creek Retreats.

it was GREAT!!!! nothing but peace and QUITE! i loved it! it was so relaxing.

we really didn't do much there and that was exactly the plan!

our first night there was the 4th and it rained, but who cared! it was nice to sit on the big ole porch, on the porch swing and watch the lightning.

the next day we did head out to find some sites in the hocking hills state park area.

we stopped at ash cave.

it was really pretty.

we also went over to old man's cave, but as soon as we got there my camera's battery died, so we decided to head back to the cabin and come back the next day.

so we headed out the following day, without the dog this time, and stopped at cedar falls.

we almost didn't go there. i am glad we did cause it was just beautiful!

then we headed back to old man's cave.

which was great, but as soon as we got there i twisted my damn ankle at the bottom of these steps. i was sooooooooo pissed! i tried to walk the whole thing, but it was getting pretty bad and hard. i only missed the end part, but bob took clay and got some pictures.

after that we headed back home. we were supposed to go play in the creek at the cabin, which was the WHOLE reason i picked that cabin, but i could NOT walk. so i was laid up in the house while bob and clay went out.

the next day we headed home. it was so nice.

the drive sucked of course!!!! after about 15 minutes of driving all we heard was, "TAKE SO LONG?!?!" which is clay's version of are we there yet?! so annoying! luckily he fell asleep, for about 1/2 hour at the most.

and woke up while bob was back in a police car getting a fucking ticket!

i was livid! we were following this car that was FLYING!!!!!!!!! then we got way behind, so we sped up to catch up, somehow from somewhere this cops gets US on his radar. i'd like to know where the hell he was when that other car went past him!!!

it didn't help that the cop was a dick!!!!!!!!!! he was taking his good old time, and i am like PLEASE hurry!! while my child is still asleep!!!! he came back to the car to get the insurance card, that i had to go dig out of our luggage, and he made bob come back to his car. i was like what the fuck?! then clay wakes up!! GREAT!!!!! he finally sees that his dad is in back with the police, so out of the blue he is like "daddy get ticket?" how in the world he knew what that was even about was beyond me!!!!!!!!!! so i was like yes.

then i look back out the side mirror and i see the cop giving bob a sobriety test! WHAT?!?!?!!? then i got real pissed!!! i was about a millisecond from being a broad on cops by jumping out the car and going off on the cop!

so then i got real stressed!! thinking, did he have a beer while we were loading the car today?!?!?! i didn't think so, but who knows........then at this point, for some reason, clay starts freaking out, crying and screaming for his daddy!!! i am trying to calm him, and he is wigging!!!!! thankfully just as i got out to get clay out, bob came back to the car...telling me i have to drive.

WHAT?!?! here the cop "suggested" that since bob has a medical condition, and apparently has no reguard for the speed limit that i should drive. i was so pissed at that cop, i wanted to go back and give him a piece of my mind!!!! thankfully i am pretty level headed and knew that would do no good, so i got in the driver side.

um did i mention before that i HATE driving on the highway?!?! HATE!!!! DON'T DO IT!!!!!!

not to mention i was in a car that i have never driven before in my life!!!!!!!!!!!!

yes, on a side note.....on how much we love spending money we don't have, we went and got this for vacation...

we traded bob's car in and got this for $580. which also brings me to those crooks at the car lot. we checked the blue book and seen that bob's car was worth about $2500, more than mine, that is why we did his. so we went out with his car and $600 to look at mini vans around $3000. we tried a few small mom and pop lots, with no avail, so we came home and hit a big lot. we told him what we had, well we told him $500.

he comes back and says that bob's car was only worth about $2000, so we would need about $900. we were like, sorry charlie, and were leaving and he then goes, i can go see if he will take $600. we just ate lunch, so all i had was $80 more. so he went and checked and sure enough we got the deal. ***note, bob went there today and they are selling his car for $4000!!!! telling us it was only worth $2000. fuckers!

anyways, so i drove the van to the next rest stop and bob resumed driving, THE SPEED LIMIT! so $120 ticket! going 83 in a 65. sucked, and clay was up, so we had the whole "take so long" the whole 3 hours of the drive!!!! bernie on the other hand was wonderful!!! he gets in a car and all he does is sleep!

it was nice, and sooooooooooooooooooo dark! it is amazing at night there! here it seems the lightning bugs come out for about 1/2 hour and then they are gone. there....there they are out ALL NIGHT LONG!!!!! i mean it was even raining and you could still see them lighting up all the trees! it was amazing!!!!!

another amazing thing. those pink flowers in the picture, by the drive. SWARMED WITH HUMMINGBIRDS!!!!!! i have never seen one in real life before and that bush was covered with them!!!!!! it was incredible! i would just sit there and watch forever.

it was really nice, and really cheap!!!! not counting the car or the ticket, or the other stuff i bought for the trip but really didn't need, i bet we only spent almost $400 for the cabin for 3 nights ($105/night+tax+dog charge)and not even $100 on food. we only had to fill up our tank on the way home and that is cause i had bob drivng all over for some stupid store that was NOT worth it!

oh and i also got ALL my christmas shopping done, in one store on our way home!!!! we stopped at this wind chime shop. i got everyone a beautiful windchime. i'll tae pictures later to show you all. so, there was $300+ dollars, but hey, shopping done!!!

oh and also $600 on our cars...since we thought we were taking my car, i got it serviced and it came to about $300. then since my air was still not working, almost the main reason we got the minivan, i got it serviced and had to get 2 front tires for it, so another $300 there!

maybe this was an expensive trip!!!!! but you figure last year when we went to niagara falls, i spent almost $800 just for 2 nights at the embassy!! then we stayed at 2 additional places, and ate out everynight at cadaian prices!!! so, i still think we spent less this time!

and it is a good thing we got the minivan, cause i don't know where all the stuff we packed would have fit!!!! that van was PACKED!!! we had the very back seat out and even removed the 2nd capt chair in the middle. the rest was packed! with a small bit of room for bernie to move around.

the only real thing that sucked about down there was i could not get a signal on my cell!!!! and there was no phone. i was going nuts without calling my mom, and shw was definitely freaking out that i did not call to tell her we got there ok. i didn't even speak to her til thursday, and we got there tuesday! for me to go that long without speaking to my mom is unheard of! i don't even think we go 24 hours with out talking several times!

when we got home on friday, our first pit stop was the ER. my ankle was killing me!! that took forever! i got there about 6pm, and didn't get out til after 9pm! it actually didn't take long once i got back in the room, which is a surprise, it just took over a half hour to even get called to registration, then after that it was well over an hour before i got taken back! it is better now, but gets kind of achy if i am on it too much.

another good thing about the cabin....the only channel it could get was CBS, which meant i got to watch the season premier of BIG BROTHER!!!!!!! it was great!

on that note i will just say i was sooooooooooo happy that kaysar, janelle, and howie are there!!! except now they (kaysar) is being stupid!!!!! why in the hell will and booger were not nominated the first week is beyond me and now they aren't this week?!?!?!? i thought kaysar was smart!!!!

in a way i do think this could be good though, i actually think nakomis is a stronger competitor than will or booger....so maybe kaysar does know what he is doing, i just hope it doesn't come back and bite him!!!!

i had more to write, but i still have to add pictures here and it is late. my pictures didn't come out too well. not sure why, it may have been how humid and "thick" the air was. you can check out all the pictures over at flickr, click on the link to the left or go here.

my child has been going to sleep at about 7pm lately, which is WONDERFUL, but that also means he has been getting up at 7am, which SUCKS!!!!!!!!!!!!! i need to head to bed!! night all!!

~6-17-06~ e-fucking-bay!!!

2006-06-17T16:07:00.000-04:00

what the fuck is up with ebay lately?!?!?! technically it is not ebay, it is the stupid fuckers who try and scam on there! technically again, i don't think the ones i am dealing with are actually trying to scam, but they are just plain STUPID!!!! i hate nothing more than stupid, ignorant people!!!!

well this latest guy, i think he is trying to scam.

i am so pissed and bob is working so i have noone to bitch at!!!!!!!!!!! so here i am..........

did i tell ya'll about the phone i won on ebay, well if not, i did. took forever to get here, but i finally got it on thursday. all excited, i opened it up, popped in my sim card, ready to go..........PHONE RESTRICTED!!

WHAT?!?! so it took him forever to get back to me and said the phone was locked, it did not say unlocked in his ad, it needs to be unlocked.

i was pissed. how could i have missed that. i CHECK for that!!! well whatever, i called cingular to see if they could help me. this wonderful guy at cingular, mike, tried to walk me through the steps to unlock it, but it did NOT work!!

in case you don't know, you only have like 5 tries to unlock it and after that it is totally locked and you have to pay big $$ to get it unlocked!

so i was like screw it. in the package, the guy had some instructions.....know what, i am just going to post the emails here!!!

ME to HIM:

Item: Nokia 3220 + Free USB Cable & 2000 Ring Tones (9732443395)
This message was sent after the listing closed.
bobbysgirlonly is the winner.

i am trying to work this phone, but whenever i put my sim card in and turn it on, it says: phone restricted and i cannot do anything else. i have cingular service. any suggestions on what i should do now?

by the way, this way through ebay, and he never responded, so i wrote to his email listed in my invoice with this:

Hello,

i don't know if you received my email through eaby, so i am sending this directly to the email in my invoice.

i received my phone yesterday. i put in my cingular sim card and it states "phone restricted".

i do NOT know what to do to fix the problem. since in your description of the product stated Service Compatibility: AT&T Wireless, Bell Mobility, Cingular, Fido, Rogers AT&T, T-Mobile

:i was led to believe that the phone was already unlocked and would work with the above carriers.

we are really in need of this phone, it is replacing a broken phone. it is the only way i can get in contact with my husband while he is at work.

am i doing something wrong, can something be done. i really need to get this phone up and running ASAP.

thank you,

jennifer

HIM to ME:

Hi,

The phone is compatible with those carriers, however the phone is locked, you must get it unlocked and then your problem will be solved. The phone was not stated as unlocked. Sorry for any inconvenience.

this is the point i was like screw it and tried to get it fixed....then:

ME to HIM:

you are positive that you had THIS phone activated through and it IS locked by rogers wireless, in canada??

i am on my 5th try at unlocking it, the cell phone place that is helping me is making some calls to try and figure out why it is NOT working, but i only have 2 tries left before it is permantly locked.

HIM to ME:

yes positive that it was locked by Rogers Wireless, and Yes it was working proir to being shipped, i used it for nearly a year before selling it and never had any complaints.

here i was just plain tired of messing with the whole thing, because i did find in the ebay ad that it DID state that it was unlocked.

ME to HIM:

sorry to bother you again......

i just viewed the item description again and it IS stated as unlocked in the FEATURES section.

Description (revised)

Item Specifics - Cell Phones
Phone Brand: Nokia Condition: --
Phone Model: 3220 Features: Camera Built-In, Color Screen, Unlocked, Email / Web
Service Compatibility: AT&T Wireless, Bell Mobility, Cingular, Fido, Rogers AT&T, T-Mobile

i knew i saw unlocked somewhere because i never would have purchased it other wise.

reguardless, i think i am going to implement the 100% satisfaction guarantee that you offered.

i will be returning the phone, since it is already the weekend, it probably won't go out until monday.

could you please send me a return address it should be sent to.

thank you,
jennifer

then he sent my his mailing address.

then today i get THIS!!!!

HIM to ME:

there is no 100% satisfaction guarantee, the phone is yours. it is up to you if you want to use it. the phone works, it just needs to be unlocked. sorry no refunds, and no returns.

WHAT?!?!?!?!! so of course, i fired off this:

what about the enclosed letter which states on the bottom :

REMEMBER I OFFER A 100% SATISFACTION GUARANTEE?!?!

you wrote it, you sent it, you misrepresented it on your add.....so am i going to get a refund, or are we going to have to deal with this through ebay and pay pal?

plus i already stated i was going to return it and you sent the return address.

i was trying to be all cool, and not get an attitude about the whole deal, hell i was still going to give you a positive feedback, so it is up to you.

if you want to do right and be a proper seller on ebay, then we can do the refund, if not i guess we make this whole transaction a lot more difficult.

i havent' heard back from him yet.....BUT

i went ahead and filed a claim with paypal. i was going to wait and try to resolve this nicely, but the way this guy is acting, he seems very shady, so i want a record of EVERYTHING!!!

i could just see him saying he would refund me, then never doing it or saying he never received the package.

so i filed the claim, there will be a record of all of this and i have all of his emails, plus the damn paper he sent saying there was a 100% guarantee.

WHAT THE HELL?! HOW CAN YOU DISPUTE THAT?!?!

so he has 20 days to give me my refund, or i will then escilate the issue to a full fledged investigation by paypal.

this is so dumb! give me my damn $86 dollars back, you'll get your phone back, you can sell it again on ebay, and that is that. what is the problem?!

i am just so ready to give up ebay. hopefully the other phone that i ordred will come and it will work! i hate bob not having a phone! it sucks when i need to get a hold of him! and what if something happens and i NEED to get a hold of him?! going through work takes forever....i have to know the department and job and blah, blah, blah!!!!

well i had to vent....thanks for being here blogger! haha!! i'll let ya know what happens next!

~6-4-06~ Well..........

2006-06-04T23:14:00.000-04:00

just checking in....it has been a while!!!

i'm srue a lot has been going on here, just don't know where to start.

i guess the biggest stuff is clay.

the potty training is going mostly well. he is in underwear through the night and we have only had 2 accidents. the most recent being this morning and of course he had to be in MY bed!!!! i don't know what that was all about!!!!

and sometimes he goes on the floor. i am not quite sure what the hell that is all about, but i am quite sick of that nonsense!!!!!! it is bad enough that the dog still has accidents now and then, my child should NOT!!!!! it is mainly when he doesn't have underwear on. whenever he goes he likes to take them off, then fight to put them back on. but through out the day he never has an accident, it is mostly morning time.

it is cute when we go out he always has to use the bathroom whereever we go, and recently he wants to go by himself, which i think is cute, but drives me batty cause the kid has to touch EVERYTHING!!!!!! the whole time i am in there with him i am yelling, "DON'T TOUCH THAT!", so he is probably touching everything on purpose when i am not in there with him just to spite me, yes he is like that! he is very, VERY ornery!!!!!!!! and hard headed!!!!!!!!!!

also, i don't know if i reported this or not, but we registered him for preschool, and yes i cried!!! i all teared up right in front of the head lady, i felt silly. why am i so sad?!?!?!?! i will get 2 whole hours to MYSELF, 2 times a week!!!!! i will miss him. i just hate not seeing what he is doing. i know he will be playing and having fun, but i'd like to be there to watch! it kills me to know or should i say not know what is going on with him for 2 WHOLE HOURS!!!!! i am sure that will quickly fade, but right now it still tugs at my heart!

most of my shows are over til fall and i am going nuts!!!!!! i don't know when all the new reality stuff starts, but it needs to hurry! i am actually sitting here writing at 11pm, cause i have no shows to watch from the week. that means i may even be in bed at a normal hour!

since we have decided to wait to sell our house for another year, we decided to consolidate some debt. yeah, may not be the best idea, but hey my payments are less and i will have money to save up so i am happy!!! i won't be happy when i see how much our house actually appraises for and realize that we are never going to get that for it thanks to this area!!!!

thought we heard gun shots again the other night........that is nice isn't it!!!!

still don't think we are pregnant. will know at the end of the week. after that i am going to talk to a fertility specialist. i am tired of this crap! i want it done already!!!!

did i tell ya'll.....we got a water softener!!!! L O V E!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i do not know how in the world i lived without one!!!!!!!!!!! lord! my dishes are lovely!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

i love to do dishes now, just to see how nice and clear they come out!!!!!!! L O V E!!!!!!!!!!!!

on the bob front, speaking of BOB, clay was saying the other night "B" "O" "B", "DADDY"!!!!!!!!! how in the world would he know that?!?!?!!? i mean i can see him knowing that daddy's name is bob, but the spelling?!?!?!

then we were playing bookworm on yahoo the other day and the bonus word came up "PIG" and he starts yelling "piggy, piggy"! took me a while to know what was going on, but what the heck!?!?! i know he knows common words like on, off, stop, start, go, cat, dog, mom, clay, dad, geico (yes, he has known that since he was a baby!) but pig and bob, blew my mind!!!!!

then we were going to good ole walmart today and we passed the fairgrounds, there was a big tent with some elephants outside so we stopped to show him and he goes, "CIRCUS!" bob and i looked at each other and we both asked, "how does he know that?!" he comes up with some stuff............yet he still goes potty on the floor, what the hell?!?!?!

anyways.........bob, he broke his watch already!!! the NICE watch i got him for our anniversary in MARCH! that i spent MUCH money on. and no jewelers around here fix citizen watches!!! he was pissing with it tonight, i don't know why he just doesn't send it in to get fixed RIGHT!!!!! that would be too easy!!!

then the other day he broke his new phone!!!!! he went swimming with clay and forgot it was in his pocket!!!!!

this people is why i do not like getting him nice, new stuff, nor do i let him get nice, new, and especially expensive stuff!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

so i was checking out new(to me) cell's on ebay and got me a new one, figuring he could use my previous one. oh well, he doesn't like my phone. well i guess he shouldn't have ruined his then, right?!?!?! he was bitching about getting the insurance on the phone through cingular, then getting the phone replaced. i still have to pay damn $50 to get the phone replaced!!!

at first i didn't think we were going to be able to do it, cause when you sign up, they call your phone to make sure it is working at the time you buy the insurance, so people like us who are trying to scam, can't. well all we did was switch sim cards, so his phone would ring to my phone. duh! so we did that. so now he is all anxious to have it replaced. but damn, we only signed up on thursday. i think that would look a little fishy!!!! i want to wait a month. so we will see how long it takes to get my NEW PHONE. it is driving me nuts not being able to get a hold of him when i want to! he can just use my current phone for the rest of the month.

and actually i don't feel that bad about "scamming" about the phone. it acutally was screwed up before he totally killed it. but to have it replaced from where we got it is a pain in the ASS. i already had to exchange mine when we first got them, don't know if i wrote about all that. and we are paying cingular a TON of money a month, so they are not losing out, trust me!!!!

back to my shows.......lost, just pissed me off. yeah i now who the leader of the others are, but what the fuck, i am still confused all to hell!!!!! and having to wait til fall, i am going to be more lost!!!!!

american idol....sucked. i like tyler and all, but i really liked chris and katherine.

survivor....SUCKED big time!!!!! terry should have won!!! if nothing else should have been taken to the final 2!!!!!! that last challenge was bullshit!!!

er..........WOW!!!!!!!!!!!! do they have the best season finale's or what?!?!?! and luca is just too damn hot!!!!!!!!! and i read john stamos is coming on next season! lordy! if i lived in that city, i would be in the ER all the time!!!!!!

desperate housewives........that was pretty good as well!!! i still get a bit thrown off with all the 850 differnt story lines, but they pretty much touched on all of them, except now who is the new psycho after mike. and why does poor bree get all of them?!?!?! that last episode with her son, was real messed up though.

i haven't really kept up with scrubs or earl. they are hilarious, especially earl, love that show, but give me REALITY!!!!!!

america's next top model....i was ok with the winner, and the last 2. i like sarah though, but she did kind of suck.

top chef......anyone watch that?! i really wanted dave to at least go to the final, but i am glad howard won over that tiffany bitch.

i can't remember anything else.........the apprentice finale is on tomorrow. i hope that english guy wins, i just can't stand that other kid!!!!

big brother starts in july. it is going to be an all stars, which kind of sucks, but oh well.......need my summer fix of that!

well you may see me a lot here lately since i have no tv!!!!! at least til my new shows start! haha!!

take care!

~5-29-06~ WHEW!!

2006-05-29T09:51:00.000-04:00

it is not even 10 am and it is already almost 80 degrees here!!!!!!!!!!!!

gotta love this ohio weather!! ugh!

~5-4-06~ ??????????????????????

2006-05-04T01:24:00.000-04:00

what the holy fuck happened on lost tonight?!?!?!?!?!

someone has got to be dreaming, cause there is no way that that shit really went down!!! i am still sitting here in shock and that was like 3 hours ago!!

WOW!!!!!!!!

~4-29-06~ No go!

2006-04-29T12:30:00.000-04:00

well, i guess idid jinx myself by talking about the whole house deal.

those people didn't even counter our counter, they walked away........WHAT THE HELL?!?!?!

i think bob and i were right about "raising" the price. i didn't like the way it looked, and i think it may have scared them. even though they had their realtor to explain it...........

so i figured out my own offer and had our realtor submit that to see if they would go for that. sucks going lower, but that is about as low as i could go, 86,700 with their 3200 closing costs.

still no word, so it doesn't look too good.

it just pisses me off that they seemed so eager and wanted it so badly! hell their realtor told us so much twice!!!! even the night of the offer bob talked to him and they guy said, "remember, this is just a starting point".......so what would you assume from that?!?!?!

well.......guess it wasn't meant to be!!

and no, that doesn't mean i have decided to do the vacation thing. i think i will do the wise thing and use the money to pay off (down) some credit cards. it is no fun being responsible!!!! :(

well, since it looks like i am staying here, i am off to go plant some flowers!

have a nice weekend!!

~4-28-06~ Well...................................

2006-04-28T01:58:00.000-04:00

the verdict is.....................

we got an offer on the house!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

not what we are asking, of course, who does that first off?!

their offer is for $83,200. with $3200 closing. which would leave us with $80,000.

of course we can't do that!

so we countered with $90,900 and their asking for $3200 for closing, which brings us to, $87,700.

we can live with that. not that we are going to have much left after down payment....which also brings me to.......WE HAVE ABOUT 2 WEEKS TO FIND A HOUSE AND GET A CONTRACT!!!!

we didn't get a contingency on it, so if everyone accepts, then we have to go, or we will have to move out and rent or something...

just wanted to let you all in on the news, i have to go find houses, and it is already after 2am!!!

on a side note.....we will probably find out what is going on saturday. funny thing is, i could get some AWESOME news on the worst day of my life! the 29th is the 10th anniversary of my father's death. god 10 years! that is so unthinkable!

anyways, it could turn the worst day of my life to one of the happiest....how fitting would that be, and i would like to think that my father had everything to do with it. proves he is still up there looking out for me.

love and miss you daddy!!!!!

~4-27-06~ JINX!

2006-04-27T01:35:00.000-04:00

so i was sitting here all last night and today checking out vacations!

i figured that since we weren't going to sell the house maybe we could splurge and go on vacation again...especially since the one last year went so well!

i have been checking out all inclusive stuff. lord i can see myself on the beach already!!!!!!!!!

someone called and wanted to show the house today, but i was like screw that. our contract is up saturday and bob already basically told the realtor lady to go take a hike. so i had bob call and cancel.

well at almost 5pm bob calls me downstairs to tell me the people are here!!!!!!!!!!!

that they really, really love the house and are 95% sure they want it.

WHAT?!?!?!?!?!?!?!

so i then have to bust my ass running around the house to pick up the mess!!!! another good thing about taking the hosue off, that i mentioned the other day, no more having to clean like a freak!

so they did me a "favor" by coming back in 20 minutes. i did the best i could and felt like an idiot!!

so our realtor called tonight at almost 10, and said they want to come back tomorrow with their parents!!!!!!! so i am assuming they really like it.

can you hear the UN-enthusiasim in my typing?!

it would be totally different if that house that we wanted was still available....or any of the few favorites we did have were still up, but they are long gone and there is only one real one out there that i sort of like, but definitely have to see in person. it still isn't like as soon as i saw it i had to have it, like the others.

so instead of the gorgeous topical islands that i have been looking at, i had to go back to looking at damn houses!!!!

it sucks!!! i am probably jinxing it all by talking about it anyways......and like i said a million times........if it is meant to be it will be.......

just pisses me off we just spent all that money on that pond, and like $200 on flowers to plant.......i wonder if i could cancel.....hhhmmmmmmmmmmmm

i'll let you know more when i hear.........

take care!!

~4-25-06~ Well hell.....

2006-04-25T01:35:00.000-04:00

the month is almost over, so i figured i should write at least one entry.

it sure has been a while.

too bad i can't say much exciting has been happening.

still have NOT sold the house, or even close!! the last people who came and looked sort of pissed me off.....they said that too much work needed done....

WHAT?!?!?!?!

we just had new siding, new gutters, new roof, new windows, new front door, new garage door with opener, most new plumbing, new furnace, new a/c, mostly new appliances.........um what else is there?!?!?!?!?!?!

well there are some cracks in some walls and some ceilings!!!

so you can't fucking buy some spackle and some paint?!?!?!?! i'm sorry that the whole house isn't brand new, and it is actually quite old, what the hell do you expect for $89,900. don't know if i have written since we brought the house down in price AGAIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

so now we are basically at the mind set of fuck it. we will stay here another year or so and pay off more bills, pay the house down and then go from there. summer is here and it is the time we like to do stuff to and around the house. we don't really want to start something then sell, but we also don't want to sit around all summer or more and not have any of this stuff done.......

we just put a little pond in the back. i'll take some pictures and show you all. we just feel terrible for our catfish. we were really hoping to have a new house now and a real nice pond for him, get him out of that small tank he is in. so we were using the credit card like crazy, don't ask, so i was like screw it, let's get a pond. i think it looks nice, i can't wait to plant all the flowers and such.

we agreed to have an open house this sunday, we were going to give it one last try and after that just tell her we were going to be taking it off the market for a while. but now i am thinking that maybe our contract was up this month. she did call today, but when we called her back she was gone, so who knows.

i sure won't be missing having to spic and span clean this place in 24 hours notice, sometimes less, and for open houses, that is for sure.

the BIG news i do have is that we have finally started potty training, and it is actually sort of working! woooo-hooooooooo!!!!!!!!!!!!! maybe i can actually send him to preschool this fall.

i think i started the week before easter. i am not even sure why i started, but i did and i was really going to enforce it. and he actually didn't protest TOO much, and we have been doing pretty well. we were using pull ups for bye bye time, but i think that is just dumb, he thinks he can go potty in his pants when we go bye-bye, stupid! pull ups are stupid! so i cut that out. we have been out a few times and he only had an accident once. thankfully we were outside at walmart and not inside! he did have an accident, 1 and 2, for my mom the other day. i don't know why?! she said she even JUST asked if he had to go. i think it is because she didn't have the little potty there, just the regular one. and for some reason he had an accident tonight. funny that all these accidents, except walmart, i wasn't around. i mean we go allllllllllll day with no accidnets! i mean he is even pooping on the potty!!!! that is a major milestone!

we are still using diapers at night, which is also stupid, but i just don't know if he really gets the "feeling" of having to do or can try and control it, so i am giving those about another week, then i will start the wonderful task of bedtime with underwear! fun, fun.

i am really excited, but that just means he is growing up so fast!!!!!!

and we are still NOT pregnant!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! after trying again next month, i think i am going to set something up with a fertility specialist and see what they can tell us.

oh another thing that happened recently........we had to spend the night in the hospital april fools day! what an awful day and night.

we woke up everything was fine, then clay had diariah (sp?) then again. so i fixed him the good ole BRAT diet for breakfast and about 10 minutes later he threw that all up, and after that about every 5 minutes whatever he put in came right back out BOTH ends!!!!!! it was horrendous! he was miserable!!!! we could get nothing to stay down! so finally about 4pm we went the the ER. after waiting in the lobby for an hour, and a nice vomitting on the floor, we finally got sent back. he was doing pretty good with the iv, oh the iv! that was awful!!!!!!! thank god for tv and spongebob, i think i actually took it worse than he did. then they gave him some popscicles that he was loving!!!!!!!!!!!!! and he wasn't bad......then i got the news we were going to have to stay overnight! that sucked! when we fianlly got upstairs, almost in his room ALL of the popscicles came back up, and he got miserable again. he kept wanting water, and we weren't allowed to give him anything, then he wanted ice chips, which we were supposed to give sparingly, but that is soooooo hard when you child is sitting there BEGGING for some damn ice.

i don't know who the fuck gives the orders in those places but finally at almost 11 pm, about 7 hours after we got there, they finally gave him something to STOP the vomiting..........and he didn't throw up after.

WHY DID THEY NOT GIVE HIM THAT SHIT RIGHT WHEN WE GOT THERE?!?!?! INSTEAD THEY LET THE POOR KID PUKE AT LEAST 10 MORE TIMES, AFTER DOING IT ALL DAY AND ALL THEY HAD TO DO WAS GIVE HIM A SHOT?!?!?!?!?!

SOMEONE PLEASE EXPLAIN!!!!!!!!!

another thing i would like explained is what happens to the paper work that the 5 doctors that talk to me fill out. i mean i see 5 different people the SAME thing, and they all write it down, where does it go that the next 4 have to reask and rewrite?!?!? that sooooooooooooooooooooooo irritates me!!!!

and my mother........everything is cause we have a dog and 2 cats. she had to make sure she told the doctor's that!!!!!! that is going to be the downfall of civilization. PETS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

they are the cause of everything. if you are sick, it is because you have a pet!!!!

and i am a hillbilly. because i let my dog on the couch then i actually have the nerve to let clay on the couch!!!!!!!!! actually it was the blanket i made for the dog, it was on the couch, and clay was sitting on it...........OH THE HORROR!!!!!!!!!

i was like the dog is on the floor all the time and clay is on the floor. what?! then she about had a heart attack cause the dog peed on the grass right by the patio. um, yeah....???????? does she not know that rabbits pee out there, birds pee out there, any other animal that may go across the yard probably pees out there.......GOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

in her credit we are not the most diligent about hand washing, but i think it is because of her!!!!!!!!! she was always a freak about it, so i think i sort of subconsciencely rebelled, same with cleaning the house. i think she was so neurotic about it, i just shut down in that area. and my house really isn't that bad people!! and even if it were it is my house!!!!!!!!

noone tells her that when she comes over and there is a sink full of dishes to start doing them!!!!!!!!!!!!! then she was complaing that all my silverwear was dirty, why would i wait for it all to be dirty before i cleaned it...........i don't know why it happened really, but so what, it is my house, if that is the way i want to do things then so be it!!!!!!

then the other day when we were at this landscaping place, i was telling her i was so happy cause clay had to go potty and they actually let me use theirs, it wasn't a public restroom, anyways, i was so happy that clay actually sat on the regular potty and went pee............

waiting for her excitment as well, all i got was "YOU DIDN'T LET HIM SIT ON THE SEAT DID YOU???? DID YOU AT LEAST PUT TOILET PAPER DOWN??" i didn't even answer her, all i got back was "you didn't" then she basically hung up on me.

can you believe that my child has made it to 3?!?! he has never been sick, before this last time, he did have the 24 hour thing when he was real little, but that is it. no sickness, no illness........nothing! yet it is like she is amazed that he is still alive! hell i still get bitched at when he falls and gets scrapes and bruises!!!! he is a boy for christ's sake! does she forget what my legs used to look like when i was little?!?! i had to go to the ER once cause i got a bloody nose that wouldn't stop, and i remember her comment that looking at my legs they were going to think i got beat.

my mother!!! funny that i actually want to get a house where she can live with us, huh?!

on to the dog. he was doing pretty good for a while with no accidents in the house, granted it had been nice here for a while so he was out alot, then the other day he went like freaking 4 times!! and he was out, so i don't know what the hell that was all about. that pisses me off!

he scratched the world out of clay's face the other day, and believe it or not my mother did NOT have a heart attack like we all feared. but it is partly clay's fault. he takes the dogs toys and basically teases the dog and WON'T throw them!!!! the dog thinks he is playing and jumps at him, well the dog is so big and clay so little, his paws go right on clay's face.

he really does need to quit with the jumping. i HATE dogs that do that and he does!!!!! i just got my soft claws in the mail today! they are these little plastic cap things that go over their claws, so they don't scratch! i was all excited to put them on tonight, but you have to clip their nails first, and i of course don't own dog clippers.

well i need to get to bed, cause my dog is going ape shit chasing the cats around and my child just got up cause of it. it was cute, i put him back to bed and i said, "oh my baby" and he said, "i not baby, i big boy" that is what we tell him now so he uses the potty. that was funny! then he said, "i like mommy" he says like instead of love. that was cute too, then he said, "mommy my best friend." he siad that out of the blue about the dog the other day and now he says it to me too, it is so damn cute!!!!!

too cute, but why is he so bad during the day!!! ahhhh!!!! little 3 year old boys!!! gotta love em!!! and i sure do!!!!!

take care everyone!!

~3-17-06~ We be illin'

2006-03-17T13:27:00.000-05:00

really! we have the sick here and it sucks!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

it started with clay last week, he was sort of coughing. then friday night he was straight up hacking so hard he was choking himself! it was awful! i hate seeing him like that........and of course he always gets sick on fridays, so we have to wait the whole weekend to get into the doctors!!!!

so we went monday, and got some medicine. it is just like a cough syrup/nasal something. i don't think it works any better than what i had been giving him. the poor child was still coughing so hard he would physically gag himself! he could barely sleep, which really sucked!!!

i mean he would be fine all day, but as soon as it was bedtime the hacking would start. the past few nights he could barely sleep, he would wake himself up by coughing. so i had some real fun nights there. the one night he didn't even fall asleep til after 3am!!!! then was still up at 7am!!!!

and one day in there he thought it would be real fun to get up at 5:30am for the day too! fun, fun!!!

this past tuesday and wednesday he actually slept in bed with me. he at some point got up and got in our bed. and he actually was NOT coughing, so bob and i didn't want to move him. i felt bad that bob had to sleep in the spare room, but at least my child finally got a "good" night sleep.

last night he actually slept all night in his bed. he is getting better!! and of course that means that it finally HITS me!!!!! so today i feel like shit!!!!!!!!!!! and of course with me i get bronchitis! it isn't really bad yet, but i still hate this feeling. i took some medicine and dozed on the couch today, and clay actually didn't do anything REAL bad. so he isn't fully recovered yet either.

the good thing about these last few days, is that clay has been napping. i sort of have to fight and MAKE him lay down, but in about 20 minutes, if that, he is out! so even when he is better i may try that. i was surprised that he even did go to bed at night with the naps, but again, it could be from the sick and the medicine. so we will see.

the dog is doing ok. still peeing in the freaking house!!!!!! actually we haven't had an accident yesterday or today yet. so that is good. i went through a big box of baking soda in about 3 days!!!! ridiculous!! i just don't get why when he pees outside he stands in one place and goes until he is done........in he it is like he starts going, but then has to walk around every room in the house til he is done. so there is this huge long trail of pee that i have to clean up. i mean there are pros and cons to that, but the point is, QUIT PEEING IN THE DAMN HOUSE ALREADY!!!!

since supernanny is back on, i again, get all these great ideas of stuff i am going to start implementing with clay. after he is well, i WILL be pottry training him. my gosh on the show the other night, jo was just FLABBERGASTED that the little girl was 3 1/2 and still in diapers. well clay is there and no where near wanting to go on the potty! at least that little girl, got it. clay i think does get it, he is just being stubborned!

i mean all this kid has to do is see you ONCE do something on the computer and he has it down, so why cna't he do the same with the potty?!?!? he is just being hard headed. i know it. i think once he sees that we are serious about the whole thing and that we are going to be sticking to it, then he will have to give in and just do it!

i have also started taking some of his toys away when he is bad. oh lord does he hate that! and it usually gets him to do what i want him to do for that second, but it i do it for behavior i want him to stop, that only lasts for about 5 seconds. he is just so bad. or so boy. i don't know, but it drives me nuts!!

he is just so awful to the animals! i just want one of them to bite him already!!! i was hoping the dog being a puppy would nip him. NO!!!! the dog is basically scared of him. when clay does whatever, the dog will usually cry and run away. lately though he will growl and sort of bark/snap, but won't even come close to actually making contact. and clay just thinks it is all funny! same with the cats, i think he likes to make them meow! oreo has finally scratched him a few times recently, and clay will scream and cry, but in 2.5 seconds he is right back to harrassing them! he just doesn't get it!

but he is cute!!!!!!!!!!!!!! even thought the past few mornings, i have to watch finding nemo! i mean in a way i think it is cool that he is finally getting into tv (yes, i know bad parent!). he is always "my shows on" and now every morning it is "fishy movie". i tried to sneak another movie in there but i get "don't like this!!" so i have to go back to the fish movie. i seriously need to get some new movies like that, cause even though i love the nemo........i am going nuts watching it everyday!!!! then there are some parts he doesn't like. i always skip the beginning. i hate it, and i don't want him to see it....he also doesn't like the part where nemo gets caught by the divers. he always comes up to me and tells me to turn it off. so i skip that part too. i thought the shark part might scare him, but it hasn't seemed to yet.

and the boy looooves sponge bob! which i don't mind really, i think it is sort of funny. even thought i have just started watching it and it has been on now since 1999, about 7 years worth of shows, why do i keep seeing the same ones over and over?!?!?! same with dora and blue's clues!!!!

oh and while we are on kids shows (can you tell i have no life?!) as much as i love me some lazy town, it is driving me nuts that they aren't too correct with their back story. yes, i know it is just a kids show and not to be analyzed, but it bugs me!

firstly it just started last year. and the first episode stephanie just came to town. the whole town was lazy until she "found" sportacus and he came to town and made everything fun and happy........well on the episode with the spectacular sportsday or whatever they were saying that every year sportacus does a new special sports trick. HUH?! sportacus wasn't even in the picture a year ago and especially before stephanie was there!!!! it is like that in a few episodes and it drives me batty!!! like i said, i have no life....see!!!!!!!!!!!

on to the dog..........he and oreo are finally hitting it off. they run around and chase each other. and bernie is all over the cat. and like with clay, the cat just basically sits there. so i am glad they are getting along and playing. spooky just doesn't want anything to do with the dog. he tries to jump on him, and he gets rattled...all hissing and swatting.

ya know........not to change the subject, but if you knock on someones door and they don't answer, do you just keep knocking?!?!?!?!!? i am sure it is the neighbors, don't know which ones, since it is early and they should be in school....unless it is the eldest girl, 22. but damn they were just here about 10 minutes ago and i didn't answer. thank god my door bell is broken! usually the younger ones will ring the door bell then like 2 seconds later knock and keep doing that. like as soon as the do something you should be at the door. it is ridiculous! or they will just knock louder. i don't have that big of a house, i can hear a normal knock. you don't have to beat down my door! apparently i am not answering.

thank god clay is not awake. he will usually run down to the door. no being able to hide that way!!!!

his little ass did that to me the other day. again they were here knocking. i actually got him to stay upstairs. then about 10 minutes later they were back, knocking louder!! and he runs down to the door....god damnit!!!!!!!!!!!!!! so then i have to answer!

nice watch dog i have...whoever was down there knocking and he didn't even let out one bark!! haha!!

well i am going to get off of here and enjoy the silence while it lasts..........

take care!

~3-6-06~ Quickie

2006-03-06T01:25:00.000-05:00

well...........

i was about to get on here and write about how everything with the pup was all peaches and cream, i mean we have had him a week now and we have only had 3 "accident"! that is great!! well TODAY, he had 3 accidents alone!! and within like a few hours of each other! and the kicker he had been outside! alot in that time frame. WHAT THE FUCK DOG?!?!?! then i had the one spot all sopped up and loaded with baking soda, and that is where he goes AGAIN!!!! nice!!!

guess that is what we get for "bragging" about how well he is doing in that department. maybe he is punishing us for having him in the car all day today.

we had an open house today. and can you believe it, we had 5 groups!!!!!! FIVE!!!! i don't think we have had a total of five coming through in all of our open houses combined since we had our house up! and even better, there is a couple who she said seems very interested! which i am NOT getting my hopes up, i know how that goes!

she said they are a young couple, who were just married in august. they are living with one of their grandfather's. she said they came through and them went and got one of their father's and came back through later in the day!!!!!

so PLEASE.........anyone who reads this FINGERS CROSSED, even if you don't know me, send some good wishes my way!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

in other news, my grandpa is in the hospital. nothing real serious. he went in for bronchitis. the only thing that scares me is that you hear about old people going into the hospital for nothing serious and next thing you know they are gone. so i am a little stressed. i am trying not to be cause i know my mom is a bit freaked. i mean he is 80, but has never, NEVER been sick!!!! even in the hospital i think that man is in better shape than anyone i know. so again, even more so that with the house, but please good wishes my way, well his way. clay is going nuts!!! everyday, "pa-pa coming over?" "wanna see pa-pa!" he even threw in a "pa-pa NOW!" so i really hope he gets better soon, i know clay misses him. even though i think he was mean the last time he was here. my grandpa is a teaser! you know how some people are with kids. and of course clay gets frustrated, and then tells him, "pa-pa go home!" which of course he doesn't mean. cause 2 minutes later he wants him to go shopping. clay got a little shopping cart for christmas, he just loves pushing it all over the house, but you have to be following him, pushing his stroller. so they do that almost the whole time my grandpa is here. thankfully he doesn't do that with me, cause i'd go insane!!!

it is funny he has certain things he plays with certain people. my grandpa it is shopping and with my mom it is cars. they are a trip!

guess this isn't turing out so quick.............

lastly, i am NOT pregnant!!! it is really starting to piss me off. i have no clue why the hell i was a week late starting my period!!!!

i am fed up and making a doctor's appointment tomorrow to find out what is up with my body! i just can't go through this much longer. then i may have to have the discussion with bob about just forgetting the whole other kid thing. i mean i do want to, but they years are flying by here, and the more they do, the more i don't want to do the whole baby thing over again. and i am sooooooooooooooooooooooooo sick of having a "regular" period. i want back on the nuvaring ***which now according to my insurance booklet is NOW covered by insurance!!! remember THIS!!!!! oh i was pissed when i read that! i almost called those people and went off!!!!!!!!! i just want back on it!!!!!!!!!! NOW!!!!!!!!

well i have to get to bed, in case my son gets up at 6 freaking 30 again!

if was sort of funny this morning. well bit of a back story.....we have just started to take toys away from clay as a punishment of doing something bad or not listening. the 2 biggest things are his shopping cart i mentioned earlier, and his big ride in car. so at 6 freaking 30 this morning i hear him sort of shreak and cry and say "my car!" then he comes in bed and says to not take his car.

ok, so now i just made my son have a nightmare that i was taking his toys away!!! LORD!!!! but i guess he sure got me back by being up at 6 FREAKING 30!!

~3-1-06~ Well...........

2006-03-01T02:13:00.000-05:00

i haven't started my period yet!

it has been about 35 days. i have never went beyond 31 days before. so i don't know?!

it is probably just waiting til i go and waste money on a pregnancy test tomorrow. then i will start. like usual!!

it was really weird this time. bob bought some generic ovulation test things and i didn't like them. and then it never said i ovulated. the only thing i can assume is that i missed it, cause a few days bob let me sleep in, so there is a slight chance that i missed it, or the tests were just not working.

so we had sex on valentine's day. that was the day, to my calculations, that i may be ovulating. but i thought how cute if we conceived on valentine's day.

so maybe we did. or maybe my body is just fucking with me like usual! i mean i don't feel pregnant. hell i think i had more "symptoms" before when i thought i was but wasn't. oh well. guess i will do a test tomorrow and know for sure. i'll let you know!

puppy is doing well. the cats do NOT like him. and he doesn't even chase them or anything.

lord the first day, oreo was beating the shit out of him! thank god he doesn't have claws, cause he got some good slaps in! so the dog is a bit weary of them. the cats haven't let up yet! he is getting a bit more curious about them though. he will go up to them, and even sort of chase them now. oreo, the most viscious, and the most stupid, he will follow the dog around!!!! then wonder why the dog runs at him. so he will swat, swat, swat. the dog will growl and sort of chase, and turn around and go back to what he was doing, and right behind him follows the cat!!

he is getting a bit more playful. not so much with clay yet. i think clay still freaks him out. he is a bit mean, but not as bad as he is with the cats. he still pinches. i don't know where he got that from, but i am about to break his fingers! he will even do it to me. i mean nothing is even happening. he will be playing with my hand or holding my hand and next thing i know he is pinching me. he does the same thing with my arms. it is totally out of the blue! i don't know what the deal is, or how to make him cut that shit out!

i was hoping he would do the same shit he does to the cat with the dog and the dog would bite him, but NO!!!

so hopefully my animals will come around soon. i know the dog wants to play with them, so i hope they will someday!!! at least while the dog is still little enough that they can.

i have a vet appointment at 10am! why do i make things so early?!?! why am i afraid to ask people if they have anything later?!?!?! especially when i have to get myself ready and my child ready!!!!

hell this morning i made an electrician appointment at 8am! what the fuck?!?! and the kicker........my child didn't even get up til almost 8:30!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

i can't even tell you the last time he slept that late, and i didn't even get to enjoy it cause i was "up" so i would hear the guy come! i was pissed!!!!

the day before he was up at 6:30AM!!!! see what i mean!!! who knows what tomorrow holds, so i am off to bed!

night all!!

Here he is!!!!

2006-02-27T17:02:00.001-05:00

bernie001
Originally uploaded by bobbysgirlonly.

Bernie and blankie

2006-02-27T17:02:00.000-05:00

bernie 047
Originally uploaded by bobbysgirlonly.

My new baby

2006-02-27T17:01:00.000-05:00

bernie 018
Originally uploaded by bobbysgirlonly.

Clay and the new guy

2006-02-27T17:00:00.000-05:00

bernie 011b
Originally uploaded by bobbysgirlonly.

Bernie and blankie

2006-02-27T16:59:00.000-05:00

bernie 055
Originally uploaded by bobbysgirlonly.

my baby and the blanket i made for him...such a good mommy i am :)

~2-24-06~ :)

2006-02-24T19:37:00.000-05:00

i'm going to get my puppy tomorrow!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

woo-hoo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i am sooooooooooooooooo excited!!!!!

lord did we spend the money tonight getting ready for him! cages are NOT cheap! well at least petco sure isn't!!! we originally bought one there for 79.99, it is 30x22x24. but we then went to petsmart and got a little bigger, nicer one for 64.99! we could have got one for 49.99, but they didn't have one out or even a picture on the box, so we just went for the 64 dollar one.

then i got the same food dish at petsmart for 8.99 and at petco it was 10.99!

so i have a bit to return, but oh well. i am just happy to be getting this dog!!!!

ask me again in a few days when i am standing out in 20 degree weather trying to get him to go potty!! haha!! he is at least started on the whole concept, so i am not complaining.

if any of ya had your fingers crossed for me i thank you!!!

i'm sure i will have MANY pictures to share tomorrow!!

~2-24-06~ AAAHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!

2006-02-24T02:20:00.000-05:00

NO news on the puppy yet!!!!

i'm going crazyyyyyyyyyy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

FINGERS CROSSED EVERYONE!!!!

~2-21-06~ Hopeful

2006-02-21T19:45:00.000-05:00

well, i had a hopeful conversation with a nice lady about this guy:

is he not ADORABLE?!?!?!?!

she is supposed to get back with me in a few days after checking out my info.

FINGERS CROSSED!!!!!

~2-21-06~ Puppies, puppies, puppies!!!!!

2006-02-21T01:27:00.000-05:00

how flippin hard is it to get a dog?!?!?!?!?!?!?!

i have been filing out a bazillion APPLICATIONS to get one and still nothing!!!!!

these applications are totally making me self conscience! and totally not worthy! people don't even have to do this to have children!!! which i seriously believe they should!!!!!!!!!

no, i totally understand the whole adoption process, and i do respect it. but i just want a puppy!!!!!!!! i will be a good mommy, i swear!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

i can't believe how hard it is to find what you, meaning I, want! yes, i could always go to the pound, but i refuse to set foot in that place. i will feel so awful, thinking they are all about to be put to sleep, i will want them all!! same with the UN-humane society. i really want to go to the rescue, or no-kill shelter route. that way if i free up a space, they can go save another life.

every puppy i do find, there is a waiting list, or it is gone in like 5 minutes of me seeing it!

hell, at this point we are even considering driving to another state to get one we like. yes, we are retarded!

it makes me so sad to see all the dogs/puppies, even kitties there are out there that need homes. so then i end up getting all depressed! so sad!

and don't get me started on the special needs ones. i want them all!!! there is an adorable little guy who is deaf. and a precious little one who is blind! if i didn't have a child i would definitely get him! he is adorable! i feel so much for them.

as a matter of fact, this puppy kick i am on, i think i have been spending more time looking at dogs than i have houses lately! can you believe it?!?!

well i am heading there next! ha! just wanted to check in and say HI!!

~2-11-06~ P.S.

2006-02-11T22:25:00.000-05:00

i forgot to tell ya'll...

my cat did come home! he was gone about a week. so i guess all isn't that bad, right?!

~2-11-06~ Bummed

2006-02-11T21:48:00.000-05:00

i'm pretty bummed!

our puppy plans fell through!!

i was so excited cause the lady was supposed to come for the home visit today. but her sister didn't think we had the right enviroment.

she just listed them for her sis. they are currently on a farm in maryland.

i totally understand, but we are hoping to have the farm enviorment, if someone would just buy our house already!!!!!!

so i cried, YES I DID! for those of you who know me won't be surprised at that!

so, i have been hitting the net looking for more dogs!

i really, really want 2. i just feel better if they have a buddy. i am even like that with my fish....again, if you know me, you won't be surprised. i am just weird like that!

i found a cute little guy, who does have a brother, but the brother is pending. so that sucks. it also sucks that he is in columbiana, ohio. where the hell is that?!?! all the ones i keep finding are "far" away. there are 2 precious one, but the are in michigan!! ADORABLE!!!!

another cutie is in bath, ohio????? but they want $225!!!!!!!!!! WHAT?!?! i can almost get a pure bred for that!!

i also like her. look ath the last pic of her, i don't like the first one they have, she looks like a cujo/wolf!!

how cute are these guys!!!!!! but i really don't want a puppy, puppy. ya'll know how clay is with the cat, i fear for a tiny puppy, even though they don't look very little, but again, where the hell is swanton, ohio?!?!

yes i have used mapquest, so i have found out where they are. columbiana, ohio is about an hour away, bath is 43 min away, millersburg is 57 min. away and swanton is 2 hours and 47 min!!!! and that place in michigan is over 4 hours away!

WHY IS EVERYTHING SO DIFFICULT FOR ME?!?!?

and i am STILL not pregnant!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i think that may be the main stress factor in all of this! i can't get pregnant to give clay someone to play with so i want a damn dog!!! now!!!! i think he is getting cabin fever and he is really driving me batty!!!! he needs a dg to run and chase and play with. expend some of that pent up energy!!!!!

i really don't want to go to the pound or the UN-humane society. i will just get depressed wondering when they are going to get killed and want to take them all! i hate, hate, HATE those places! i wish they didn't even exsist!! that is why i am willing to pay the higher $$ to get them from rescue places or no kill facilities. i admire what the people are doing and would love to give them my money and offer support for their efforts.

well i am done whinning now. clay is asleep and bob is out playing cards....time to enjoy the silence and get some of my shows watched!!

night all!!

~2-2-06~ Hellooooooooooo

2006-02-02T00:50:00.000-05:00

sorry i haven't been around lately.

i am getting back to my old unmotivated self, not that i ever did get motivated....

anyways, i guess shit around here is just pissing me off and weighing on me.

STILL NOT pregnant!!!!! i was soooooo hopeful since we finally did the ovulation test kit thing and found out when i was ovulating........and NOTHING!

STILL did NOT sell our house! or even close to it!!! we have came down to the lowest we can, 89,900, which sucks, but what are you going to do??

i guess it is a good thing that we haven't found our dream house yet though....

and now my flippin cat is missing! i don't even know how in the hell he could have got out! he is NOT the one who runs out as soon as the door is open!!!!

i just don't get it! that is why my cats are indoor cats, so nothing happens to them, so why the fuck does shit keep happening to my cats??????? this is 3 now(at this house)!!!!!

it tears me up cause it is the same EXACT scenario as with piggy. noone saw him get out, noone understands how he got out, and he is no where to be found! i have been out calling for him for the past 3 day/nights.

the biggest thing is that if he did get the opportunity to get out, how did oreo NOT get out?!?!?!?!?! that cat is at the door as soon as he hears the knob turn! so i am all tore up about that. my animals mean the world to me...my biggest thing is that i am afraid he is out there afraid and lonely and hungry!!! hell i am still holding out hope that my other 2 will come back and that has been about 2 years now i think.

so in my depressed state over that i found these:

are they not the CUTEST things you ever seen!!!!! they are up for adoption in my area, so i am planning on filling out an application for them! yes BOTH of them! how can i possibly break them up?!?!?!

i have been toying with the idea of getting clay a dog, especially since he is NOT letting up on the cat, as a matter of fact he is getting worse with it. i don't think he is really intentionally trying to be mean, he just wants the cat to play. today i felt so bad, clay was running around the house trying to get the cat to chase him. so he really needs some play mates! ones that can handle him and themselves. my poor cat doesn't even have claws to defend himself. speaking of the other cat.........he misses spooky terribly! he is forever catterwalling. and always on me! i feel so bad, so i think he will really like puppies too. i don't think he will be afraid, he is not afraid of anything, that cat! the puppies have been around cats too, so it won't be new to them, and i don't have to fear they will eat him.

so hopefully in the next few weeks, i will be adding a few new faces to our family.

YES, i am crazy!!!!!!!! i realize this! and i also realize the heavier work load i am putting on myself, but again, it is for my child, mostly!

i already talked to bob about the whole poop situation, which is my biggest fear. bob said he would clean up, but ultimately i know that I will be the one doing it. the things i do for my child! ha! and i really, really do NOT like big dogs!!!! i like little lhasa apso's. again, the things i do for my child, he would kill a small dog, so he needs larger ones to run and play with.

by the way they are part golden retriever, so they will be pretty big, at least bigger than what i am used to. and as cheap as i am, we will also be attending doggy kindergarten, or obedience classes.....i already have a child and husband who don't listen to me, i am not adding 2 more beings that don't!!

i thought other shit was going on too.........

did i tell ya about my dishwasher taking a crap on me???? well i had to pay almost $80 for them to come look at it, and now it will be about $120 MORE to fix it! i could have just went and bought a damn new one!!!!!!

i am for real tired of dishes, hate them, so i will be paying the $120 to fix it. i was going to go get a new one, but why spend any extra money if i don't have to right now.

and did i also tell you about the mess my child has made of my laptop?????? well he keeps breaking and destroying and i keep fixing. i just ordered a cool FLEXIBLE and INDESTRUCTIBLE USB keyboard (similar to this one at the bottom of the page) for it since the ps2 port is dead. i go down today and the screen is black with only NO OPERATING SYSTEM FOUND. WWWWWHHHHHHHHHHAAAAAAAATTTTTTT?!?!?!?!?!?!

HOW IN THE HELL DID MY CHILD TOTALLY WIPE OUT MY WINDOWS WITH ONLY A MOUSE?!?!?! so there is more money to go get that fixed. i was thinking of a new one, and bid on a few on ebay, thankfully i lost, i just don't have the money to put into that, when he would probably just screw it up again.

so for the past few days he has been a handful without the laptop. that child would spend all day on there if i would let him!!!!!!! i feel guilty sometimes, but the good thing is that most of the games he plays are educational. it still just amazes me to watch a 3 YEAR OLD working the computer all day!!!!!!

the only real good new lately is our taxes. we got back a ton! which i was totally not expecting! but then that sucks, cause it is already all gone, and i don't even have it yet!

i am paying off a few small credit cards. which i guess it is nice to have that debt gone, but it sucks to have all that money in your hands, with so much to do with, yet it has to go to pay bills! BLAH!!!!

oh and my eye surgery is finally paid off, that is good! that is an extra $100 a month i am not paying out....well that too will go to the other credit cards, so no real gain. just trying to get out of debt, before getting back into it with a new house!!!!!

then again, are we ever truly out of debt?!?!?! one can dream!!!!!!!!!

speaking of dreams, i am off to try and get some. my child has been fighting bedtime, and not getting to bed til late, and then getting up WAY too early (for me)...not to mention bob's alarm......which i know i have bitched about NUMEROUS times before. so i am off to get my, hopefully, 4 hours of sleep.....and i wonder why i am dead tired all day long!

good night all!!

~1-20-06~ Real quick

2006-01-20T01:34:00.000-05:00

we got our new phones today! woo-hoo!!

all i can say is i am sitting here with a t-mobile(shit service) phone with NO bars, and right next to it is a cingular phone with 5 bars!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

also when bob was out and about tonight, there are certains streets where we have NO service, he called and also had no bars on the t-mobile and 4 bars on the cingular!!!

think i made the right choice!!

BEWARE OF T-MOBLIE!!!!!!!!! their prices may be cheaper and their contracts shorter, but the sevice area SUCKS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

~1-17-06~ Phone dilemma

2006-01-17T01:10:00.000-05:00

well, i broke down and ordered some phones.

i did go to the verizon store and they wouldn't meet or beat the deal i found online so i just decided to go with some cheaper phones. i mean really. i am not out and about enough to need a 1.5 megapixle camera on my phone, and i really don't need a phone that plays a bunch of mp3's, especially since i am too cheap to pay to download any of it.

so we got these. mine(on the left) was free, and his(on the right) was $30, which we get a rebate for, so it is all free! now i am stuck with cingular for the next 2 years!!

no new news at the doctor's. of course we won't know anything until about the 26th. everyone please cross your fingers! i need to get this pregnancy thing going! i am going insane every month trying to figure out my cycle, and ovulation, and blah, blah, blah!

then again a part of me is just crazy to want to do this pregnancy thing all over again. not that i had a bad pregnancy. as a matter of fact it was wonderful! but then again, i didn't already have a child to care for at the same time! no more sleeping all day, and resting my tired bloated body. my child sure isn't going to go for that!!!!!!!!

lord, when it was nice here last week, thursday and friday, we went to the park. friday we were there for at LEAST 3 hours! ever since then, that is all he talks about, he wants to go bye-bye to the park. he doesn't understand that it is winter! 50-60 degree weather is not normal for this time of year, yesterday in the 30's is, and there will be no going to the park in 30 degree weather!!

we also tried the whole, oops, we are out of diapers, so now you have to go on the big boy potty. that lasted about an hour!!!!!!!!!

he is FREAKED out that there is a hole in the underwear. YEAH! it is supposed to be there. i tried having bob show clay his hole, and on and on....didn't work. my child just does NOT want any part of unnerwears. plus since we were at the park all day, i had to put a pull up on him, which i called bye-bye underwear.....his other reason for always wanting to go bye-bye, so he can wear a diaper.

after about 3 times peeing every where, i just gave up. i know i have to stick to it, but he just is not getting it right now, and i just don't have the patience. hopefully once it gets warm, we will do it, cause then his butt is just going to be naked and we won't leave the house til he learns! especially if i am big and pregnant!!

if i am pregnant now, i will be due around october 7th.

how about the psycho lady of the bachelor! HA!!!!!! that poor broad is not going to get ANY dates anymore!!!! if she even got any in the first place. i also have an inkling that that sarah girl, the young in, is going to drive me batty! i think she is going to get way possessive and attached. come on, she is 22 for christ's sake!!!!! whatever. i liked christine, just cause she was cooky, and i felt horrible for her! i think he should have kept her around for a bit, so she settled down and got rid of her nerves, i don't think she would have been so crazy.

well i have to get to bed. my dvr downstairs erased my damn soap since i have it all filled up, so now i have to go watch it in the bedroom.

good night all!

~1-16-06~ Still here????????

2006-01-16T11:05:00.000-05:00

well, is anyone still here?

it has been quite some time since i have updated!

so i guess merry christmas and a happy new year is appropriate.

i hope you all had a happy and safe holidays.

it was a bit hectic here. i had the family over on christmas eve, that was nice. my cousin and his new girlfriend even stopped by which was nice.

clay got spoiled at christmas, which is no surprise! and of course he doesn't play with half the stuff he got, another no surprise!

i haven't been able to update lately since he totally destroyed my laptop. i don't know if i already told you how he ripped all the keys off (it wasn't working anyways), so then i just hooked a keyboard up to it, problem solved! no, that port got screwed up, so i was left with no way to type. still not a biggie, since he just played games on it. well now i don't know what the child did, but it acts like you are scrolling down all the time. when you get to a page, window anything, it goes right to the bottom, and you can't go any other place. so i think it is totally fried now, and of course i have NO money to get a new one right now.

also my phone is disconnected. that girl never gave me the money for the long distance calls, and i wasn't in no hurry to pay all that wasn't mine, so they shut it off. which i could actually care less about. it is nice not hearing a ringing phone.....and now the other neighbors don't come over all the time to use it. so it is sort of win-win.

BUT for some reason now my cell phone is being a BITCH! i cannot get a signal for the life of me, especially when i am in my house! so that really sucks!!!!!!

i found some great phones and a new carrier online at wirefly.com, that i want, but you pay and get a rebate after like 6 months, and that makes the phone free. BUT i don't have the money right now to put out for something like that!!!!! i may just go to the verison store and see if they can give me a deal and just give me the phones for free. can't hurt to try!

THEN, my dishwasher is not working! i don't know what the flip is up with that nonsense!!!! AGAIN, don't really want to shell out the money to have someone come and look at that!

AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!

on another note, i have a girlie doctor appointment today, fun, fun!!!

the good news is that i finally found out i was ovulating on saturday! woo-hoo!!!! we finally broke down and bought those tester kits. apparently i ovulate late, so hopefully that is our problem of why nothing has been happening the past few months! so hopefully this time i ovulated from my right, and we are about a day pregnant!! of course it will be about a week before we know for sure. FINGERS CROSSED!!

we also had someone come and look at the house today, which was a disaster. i soooooo was not done cleaning and picking up! clay and i both were still in our jammies! oh well! they probably won't want it anyways! i am tired of busting my ass to pick up and put away for nothing!

a few more things real quick.....of course about tv.......

does anyone else think it is totally RIDICULOUS that that master p guy is STILL on dancing with the stars?????!!!!!!!!!!! i am getting pissed week after week! if he stays this week, i have about had it! he apparently doesn't want to be there, he isn't even giving 100%, which he says he is, but he won't wear the right shoes, or take off that freaking hat!! WHO THE HELL IS VOTING FOR THIS GUY?!?!?!?!?!!?

fear factor is pissing me off too. those home visit things are just dumb! waste of time! and what about no gross shit?!?!?! isn't that the whole reason people watch?!?!?! bob said before the new season started, that they were supposed to cut back on that, but i didn't believe it, cause it is fear factor, that is what the whole show is about! but since the new season started i haven't seen anyone eat anything!!!! BULLSHIT!

well my child is out of the bath now.........

i'm sure there were a million other things i wanted to say or comment on here, but i guess that will have to wait another month! haha!

take care everyone!!

~12-22-05~ Checking in

2005-12-22T00:36:00.000-05:00

hello! are ya'll ready for christmas?? me neither!!!!

i couldn't wait for it to get here, still can't really, but it is going quick and i still have a bit to do.

i'm having my family over on christmas eve, so i still have to get all the food for that. i HATE last minute shopping and shoppers, sorry if that is you, but i hate it. the only reason i am out last minute is cause the stuff i need i can't get ahead of time. i mean yeah i could have got the turkey breast and froze it, but fresh is just much better.

and for some reason i got a in the cookie baking mood and i have no damn storage containers for them! so i need to get some of those as well. i don't need any acutal gifts, just food items.

we went out last weekend to get the things we need for the week like usual, and it was just a mess!! which really doesn't bother me, but bob was being a goon and all moody! we had clay which made it a bit more difficult as well.

i have to go get his pictures on the 23rd, but luckily that is at the front of the store, but eveyone and their brother will probably be there getting their pictures for christmas.

it has settled down here a bit from my last post. bob still is pissed and wants out, which don't get me wrong, i do too, i just don't know about getting so little for our house and then having to "settle" just to get out.

and again this is the dreaded time of year for me......new year's eve. if you recall last new years eve, if not go here. we got the call the other day. when i saw the caller id and seen it was his friend, i knew it was about some party.

i wasn't even going to bring it up, i was hoping he had the smarts and decency NOT to. but no, last night he started, and i abrutly stopped him and said he was crazy since he never made it home last new year's eve when he went. then he goes on about how he wants me to go with him, and blah, blah, blah............ he had all sorts of scenarios where it would "work" (for him).

firstly, i DO NOT want to go!!!!!!! i am just soooooooo not into going out anymore. anywhere, for anything....yeah killjoy, whatever! my feelings now are that you have a family, that is what you do.

secondly, even if i wasn't like that, i would NOT want to go and hang out with those people. they are ok people, i have no problem with them personally, but they are just not my crowd. especially at 32 years old. no disrespect to anyone out there, but for ME personally, i don't want to be around a bunch of drunk people (especially when i am not one of them), play stupid drinking games. sorry, i am 32 not 22. again no disrespect if that is your thing, it is just not mine.

****also, this is all from experience! i have tried it before, i went to be a good sport, so i am NOT exaggerating!!!!!! and MIND you i was pregnant during all of this!

thirdly, i do NOT like cards! these people do a lot of that. i don't have anything against cards, but i am not being paid attention to when cards are being played. NOT that i want attention, but sitting by myself and not talking to anyone, why even be there then??????????????????

and fourthly, i sort of do have a problem with these people. not really the people, but it is "them" that on several occasions, bob has seriously hurt my feelings and made me disappointed in him because of those people, or should i say FOR those people.

numerous nights i had a million promises that he would be home at a certain decent hour, promise, promise, promise...........NOT!!!!!

i'm sorry but that is just plain disrespectful!!!!!! especially on new year's eve!!!! and especially when he does it over and over and i keep giving him chance after chance..........i guess i am partly the stupid one for giving him chances!!!!

so then part of me feels guilty if i don't let him go, but then the other part of me reads from last new year's eve.....and it has happened since, i'd go back and link to it, but i am not going back through a whole year of posts, trust me it has happened since!

so i don't know what to do. just let him go, and AGAIN hope that he is home in time to celebrate the new year with me.........or say fuck no you can't go! here is a chance to prove to me how important i am. again don't get me wrong, i know i am important to him, but sometimes going against those people i feel inferior.

oh get this! then they all have like this running joke about the whole situation. like everytime joe calls bob to do something......um excuse me, NOT funny! yeah, that is why you are single!!!!!!!!!!!

and there is more, what was i on....fifthly (?), i don't want to leave clay. i am still in the mind set that i don't want to. and why should i if i don't absolutely have to???? i want to be home to tuck him in, we never had anyone else do it, so i don't even know how that would go! but i want to be here. i want to tuck him in, then go down in my living room and relax, then at midnight creep into his room and give him a kiss on his head! AND since i am going to have to be up at 8am (on a good day) the following day, i sure don't want to be out all late. and yes, i realize i am up all hours of the night here, but at least i am relaxed, at home in my jammies.

so i don't know......i'm hoping to have some news to change his mind anyways........

YES, we are stilllllllllllllll trying to get pregnant. i'm trying not to think of it that much this month, but i have been having some weird gas pains lately, yeah i think i have said that the last 2 months, but i think that may have been my brain stressing over it and upsetting my belly. but these were different. and my boobies felt sort of weird last night kind of stinging. at a glance tonight i have some MAJOR blue veins running to them now, and i don't believe i have seen those before, now i wish i would have paid closer attention! so fingers crossed! what a lovely christmas present!!!!!

so the plan is that the day of christmas i am going to take a test. and if it is positive, i am going to wrap it and give it to him at my aunts house. that is tentitive. i think it would be really cute, but i also think it may be better if it were just a moment between he, i and clay. yeah, maybe that is a better way. we can wrap it and give it to my mom, that would still be cute, cheesy but cute! but i AM waiting this time!!!! no early testing just to jinx myself, hell i probably jinxed myself by telling you here!!!!

and if i am and he still wants to go to some damn party, i swear i may hurt the boy!!!!

i got my ring!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! it is so pretty!!!! i think it could be a bit smaller though, it still twists to one side, but i love it!!!!!!!!!!!!!! can't wait to show it off at christmas!!!!

so on to my cutie clay........he is just too smart for his own good! the things this boy can do and the things he picks up on! it is soooooooooooooo amazing!!! SO WHY CAN HE NOT USE THE POTTY?!?!?!? he is going to be REAL stubborn about that one. i always try to get him hyped up for it, but he tells me, "NO, diapers!"

they boy is a printing fool!!!!! he seen me print something the other day, and he is now a whiz at it! i will come in here and he will have a bazillion damn pages printed out.....waste paper and ink much?!?!?! it wasn't bad when it was just his printables from his sites, but now it is everything! whole damn web pages! he is just obsessed with the computer in general! oh and he can spell his name. he one game asks for his name and age, and he can type both in! how cute is that!!

he also destroyed my lap top! i don't know what on earth he did, but it is mangled! the keys were all messed up a few weeks back, so i took some off to see if i could just clean them out, like a normal keyboard.....well laptops aren't the same!!!! so i couldn't get the damn things back on. well the next day he seen some off, well the rest are off now as well!!!

ok, no biggie, so i hooked up a regular keyboard. i have no clue what he did now, but the keyboard no longer works, i even tried another....NOPE!!!! so he gets REAL mad about that, but hey, i don't know what is wrong! maybe the port?! i'm going to try and get a USB connector and see if that works, if not WE are basically screwed except to play some games on it. but he still sits there forever on it playing games! gotta love the noggin.com and nickjr.com!!

he is just so cute, and i love him so much!!! even though the past few nights he has been getting up before 6am!!!! he is getting a cold, so i will let that slide for a while! none the less, i need to get in bed and get ready for that!

take care everyone!!!!!

~12-18-05~ SHOTS FIRED!!!!!!!!!

2005-12-18T00:51:00.000-05:00

can you tell how my weekend went????!!!!????!!!!

well the lovely neighbors that i watch after school, their sister, was having a sweet 15 party tonight for her birthday.

she printed out fliers on my computer the other day, i checked it out and bob and i was joking cause on the bottom she put: come in PEACE or leave with the POLICE.

FUNNY STUFF!!!!! especially for a 15 year old's party right???!

so i don't even know the time......bob and i were watching a movie, and i heard a bunch of comotion, i was already pissed cause i knew a bunch of people would be parked along my house, since i am on the corner and they are 2 houses in from me. and clay's window is RIGHT there! so i hear all this ruccus, and i look out the window and this whole MOB of people are trapseing through my front yard!!!!! why would it be ok to walk all in someone's yard?!?! and around the side of my house. we looked out the kitchen window and there were like at least 4 cars DOUBLE PARKED IN THE ROAD, blocking the whole thing, RIGHT OUTSIDE OF MY SONS WINDOW! so i just pick up the phone to call the mom and tell her she needs to get these people the hell out of there and next thing i know.....BANG, BANG, BANG!!!!!!!!!!!!! so i freak and scream to bob was that gun shots, and he yells yes, to call the police. i am freaked the fuck out!!!!!!!! i am screaming at him to get away from the windows and i am screaming at the people at 911. i am almost hyperventilating, i am shaking uncontrollably, then i try 2 different numbers and finally get ahold of those fucking people to tell them WHAT THE FUCK, DID I MENTION THAT MY CHILD'S WINDOW IS RIGHT THE FUCK THERE!!!!!!!!!!!! the mom tells me they know and the police are on the way and stay away from the windows, WELL FUCKING DUH!!!!!!! NOT THE FUCKING POINT HERE!!!!!!!!!!!!!! so i am stressed! i go back downstairs and i cannot find bob, so i am figuring he is going outside after i demanded he get upstairs away from the window! i am calling him and calling him! i know he has a temper, so i did not need him to be out getting shitty with people he thought were involved and who put his son at risk. so i throw on clothes and go outside, the cops were already there.....then i hear him scream at me, WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING GET BACK IN HERE!!!!!!! here he was upstairs in the spare bedroom at the window.

so i go back in and i really freak out then and start sobbing hysterically. i couldn't find him and i didn't know what had happened to him, and what would i do without him.

then the other neighbor daughter came over to see how i was, cause i breifly spoke to her when i called for the mom. why was she not freaking like me???????!!!!!!!!!!! she apologized and said it wasn't people from the party, they tried to come and weren't allowed in or something i don't know, i didn't care. i went straight up to check on my son!!!! you hear stories about stray bullets going through walls and killing innocent people, CHILDREN!!!!!!!!!!!!

he was fine! thankfully he slept through me grabbing his chest to make sure he was breathing and moving. lord!

i need the fuck out of here!!!!!!!!!!! i cannot, CANNOT DEAL WITH THAT SHIT!!!!!!!!

bob and i are seriously thinking about putting our house up for as low as we can put it and still pay off our current mortgage, even if it means getting a cheaper house than we want right now. we just need to get out of this shit!!!!!!!!! out of the city!!!!!!!!!!!! away from people who this shit seems to follow and gravitate toward!

this 15 year olds friend was just killed the other day. the police and everything say it was gang related, but not the family or friends. yeah right, it is funny that earlier this year his first cousin was killed and it was gang related! hhhhmmmmm, what do you think????!!!!! and she, herself, was just jumped a few weeks back, i didn't really get all the details, so who knows?? not me, i don't want to know, i just want the fuck out!!!!!!!!!!!!!

we are going to look at some houses tomorrow, hopefully we will see something we like and we can put a bid in and if they accept it then lower ours so we can be gone ASAP!!!!!!!!! which won't be soon enough for me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

i hope you all are SAFE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! good-night

2005-12-16T15:10:00.000-05:00

WHAT WE DID TODAY! I HATE THAT THE FIRST PICTURE YOU TAKE YOU HAVE TO MAKE AS YOUR PACKAGE DEAL. FUCKERS!!!!!!! THIS IS CUTE AND ALL, BUT WAIT TIL YOU SEE THE OTHERS!

MY FAVORITE!!!!

LOVE THIS ONE TOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

THESE ARE CUTE TOO.....OF COURSE.

THESE ARE CUTE OF CLAY BUT NOT ME! THE FIRST SUCKS, I MAY NOT EVEN PUT IT ON HERE, THE OTHER OF US LOOKING OFF TO WHO KNOWS IS OK...

THAT WAS OUR FUN FOR TODAY!! SORRY ABOUT THE CAPS, BUT CLAY IS HERE ON MY LAP PUSHING ALL SORTS OF BUTTONS, CAPS LOCK WAS ONE, I JUST WANT TO GET THIS PUBLISHED THEN OFF OF HERE, HE IS DRIVING ME NUTS! HE WANT TO "PLAY GAME!" BYE!

~12-15-05~ What's been going on here

2005-12-15T01:05:00.000-05:00

I GOT IT!!!!!!!!

LOVE IT!!!!!!!!!!

i told them the wrong size, so we took it to get sized right today. it is kind of queer cause the band doesn't fit real great on the other ring, so i am getting them welded ? together. i didn't want to, but i'm not fighting for them to stay on top of each other like they are supposed to.

i also had the guy look at it and give me a verbal appraisal. and he said i got a great deal. he couldn't get real specific with, weights and measurments and color and clarity, that they charge for. but he said everything looked good and is REAL, so that relieves me. i'm happy!!! just sucks that i have to wait til monday to get it back!

this past weekend we got a bit of snow! clay made his first snow angel.

actually it was like his second or third. i missed the actual first. he sure does love the snow!!! want more proof??

his first taste of snow! UGH!

this is bob's little project from a few days ago....

that is his mini snowman in the bird bath, which leads to.....

so that is my time.........i'm sure i will have plenty coming up since ALL of my shows are ending until janurary!!!!!!! i seriously think i am going to die a bit. it is going to suck!! i already hate mondays when nothing is on!!!!! we are going to be forced to watch that damn show with howie mandel, that doesn't interest me at all! and i already started dvr'ing that show project runway.......

stay warm and be safe all!!!!

~12-7-05~ Still here!

2005-12-07T15:48:00.000-05:00

i'm still around, but it has been hectic.

we had an open house this past sunday, nothing new on that front! but the house is clean for a minute!

i always thought it was a good thing that i did my christmas shopping so early. um, NOT!!!! i guess it was good for everyone EXCEPT my son. i keep seeing things i want to get him and i KEEP GETTING THEM!!!!!!!!!!!

from now on, i don't think i will do his shopping until the LAST minute!

this boy is going to get the mother lode for christmas. i'm sticking to the belief that by next christmas, there will, hopefully, be another little one, so this is HIS christmas to be spoiled.

i really think that ebay is a sort of "drug". i am seriously getting bad. granted i am using it for "good", but getting stuff for others, but damn! i did break down and do a bit of ME shopping though, i'll get to that in a minute.

we were at walmart last week and i saw this cute ring, i don't even know why i looked, but it was cute and cheap so i put it in layaway. i've been going back and forth about getting a new one, the wedding set i have now is my mother's. which i love and has tremendous sentimental value, but i would like an update. so i was all excited i had it in layaway.

well then i get home and get on good ole ebay and find THIS!!!!!!! is that not almost the most beautiful thing you ever saw?!?!?!?!?!?

notice the winning bidder, yeah, that is me!!!!!! i got a ring!!!!!!!!!!!!! it is my christmas gift from bob. so i was so happy about the ring, and left bob a note to let him know that i won it.

and in return, i got something even more beautiful than the ring.......this note:

Jennifer, Good morning!

I hope you won it!! And if so, i hope you love it!! i've always felt badly that i never got you a nicer ring to show my appreciation for you being my wife. even though i didn't select this one for you personally, i want youto know that you have my blessing, and my love. and i want you to know that if i were more of a man, someone who took charge of his own finance, that you wouldn've had a nicer ring long ago. i think you deserve it! i hope you will always consider it a gift from my heart! know that my heart is much more generous than my capacity for responsibility (if that makes sense)

i look forward to a long and happy life with you, and hope you feel the same way, thank you for overlooking my inadequacies.

again, congratulations. know that i love you with all my heart! i am very excited for you!

i love you,
bob

p.s. tell clay that daddy loves him too. no ring for him though, he already got enough stuff for christmas.

IS THAT NOT LOVELY?!?!?!?! i get tears every time i read it!!!!

yes, he does do stuff on a regular basis that totally pisses me off, but for that note right there, that is why i fell in love with him and married him! he really is a genuine, loving, and caring guy!

it is funny how some writing on a piece of paper can mean more, than a bunch of diamonds!! that is the way it should be though! just pure love and emotion! showing it from the heart, and not just through material things...............yeah, but the material things are nice though! haha!

just thought i would share that with you all cause it is very, VERY special to me!! and please remind me of it the next time i am on here bitching about something stupid he has done.

take care all.......keep warm! it is FREEZING here!!!

~11-28-05~ Hello!

2005-11-28T10:01:00.000-05:00

i hope you all had a wonderful and safe holiday!

back to the grind now! bob was off all last week, they are always on shut down thanksgiving week. it was so nice! not only having his company all day, but i got to sleep in almost every day!!!!!!!!!!!! that was terriffic!!!!!!!!!!!!! love him!

didn't get a THING accomplished though. except decorating for christmas a bit, which we didn't plan on doing! but of course it cost money so we did! all our stuff is in storage, so i had to go buy new stuff!

i don't know if i mentioned but we bought this christmas tree off a family member. it is one of those prelit jobbies. can you say PAIN IN MY ASS?!?!?!?! i didn't know it was just a regular tree, with regular lights all wrapped the hell around the branches. which isn't a bad thought. but for some reason mine of course is being difficult and half the strands didn't work. so i had to go through all the bulbs with this tester thing, and half the time i would just move something and they would come on. one strand i just had to cut off cause i don't know what the problem was. after going through every light about 10 times, i just cut it the hell off! then i had a big bare area, so i had to go buy lights. and i couldn't just buy a strand for there cause the tree only had red, orange and pink lights. so i bought a few of multi and threw them on to match. it is ok, but now a few of the other strands are out again, and i am DEFINITELY NOT messing with them. the tree only cost $25, so it is not much of a biggie, but i don't think i will be using this tree again!

so anyways, money was spent this past week!

have i said how much i love walmart?? you won't believe what we got!!

for $316!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! three hundred dollars!!!!!! it was an open box deal, and the bottome ting that covers the speakers, the clip was broke and it wouldn't stay on.

can you believe that!!!!!! i super glued it and it is fine. it didn't have a remote, but who cares! so far one that i have for the dvd thing works!

that is our incredible deal of the week. no xbox, but new tv! for even cheaper! woo-hoo!!

in other news, i have been spotting for the past few days. has me a bit stressed and hopeful at the same time. it could be implantation bleeding, the time is right. the thing that worries me is that the last time i had bleeding, is when i had my ectopic pregnancy. then again, implantation bleeding is normal. so i don't know if i am pregnant or not. i still have a few days til i can test. FINGERS CROSSED!!!!

well i need to go see what my child is in to now!!!!!!

~11-22-05~ Update

2005-11-22T12:06:00.000-05:00

this is an update to the previous post.

LOOK!!!!!!!!!!!

~11-22-05~ Some people are just NUTS?!?!

2005-11-22T11:57:00.000-05:00

well, NO x-box here!!!

we were at walmart shopping yesterday afternoon around 1pm, and there were ALREADY PEOPLE IN LINE for the xbox!!!! it didn't go on sale until midnight!!!!!!

when we got home we called all the walmarts and most of their lines were already full!!!!

there was no way i was sending bob to sit in line all damn afternoon and night anyways!!!!

but look at THIS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! and THIS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

now i wish he and i BOTH would have went and sat our asses in line!!! MIND you these sold in the store for $399!!!!!!!!!! and sold for that price!!!! we could have made over $3000!!!!!!!!!!

even the cheaper ones are going for over $1000. i would have taken that too!!!!!

DAMN!

~11-13-05~ Hello!

2005-11-13T22:19:00.000-05:00

i will just start by saying that now my child is well, and NOT medicated at night, LORD THAT CHILD DOES NOT WANT TO GO TO SLEEP!!!!!!!!!

i am starting to miss the medicine!!!!!!!!!

well, he is in there now, NOT sleeping, but hopefully he will stay put for the night. i just put a little heater in there, and he is fasinated with it. lets all hope that he stays away from it like we have told him. he knows it is HOT, and he gets that. as a matter of fact it is up by his dresser, and he didn't even want to get up there and get ready for bed, he kept saying "HOT, HOT". but still he has man genes, so you women know how that goes............we will see.

i am glad to say that i am FINISHED christmas shopping!!!! finished mostly today, and it was mostly for clay, and he is mostly, definitely, absoulutely SPOILED!! the only thing i have left to get are a few gift cards, which can be picked up any ole' time. and the damn tv i am trying to get for clay's room....each damn walmart must have only had 2 in stock, cause they were sold out at both of the ones i went to! but really that can wait, cause as soon as we get it there is nowhere big enough to hide that, so he will get it early if we get it early.

my christmas list this year:

MOM: she just wants gift certificates, which i really hate getting, but it is what she wants, so i am getting her $100 at best buy and 2 $50 to the 2 movie theaters she goes to alot.

Grandpa: i got these for him. and i am going to get this off ebay, isn't it adorable!!!!!

Aunt Jane: ordered this today, so pretty!

Aunt Con: i went in with my mom and we got her this and some cd's.

Raeann: i got her this from clay, and personalized it with "cousin raeann"

Dominic: it is hard to shop for a 15 year old boy!! so i just get him a best buy gift certificate.

Samatha: these are cool. i got them for all 3 girls. hope they work ok. and i got her one of those hair twirrling things, that wraps pieces of your hair with ribbon. don't know if i can find a link to it.

Bob's Family-

Mom: she got a couple of cd sets, and this. we also got this for both grandma and grandpa.

Dad: these nice work clothes. he drives tow truck, so he is out in the cold all winter.

Sister: got her this from clay.

Eddie: he just got his first truck, so i thought these were appropriate. i think he will get a kick out of them.

Samatha: this same camera

Steffanie: this same camera

and

Marisa: can't link to it in the OFF chance that molly will look. i like the parent to be just as surprised as the kid. yes, i DON'T like to know what clay is getting either!!

the spoiled one:

this is my double purchase, with some games.

this is the main gift along with the tv.

then a few games 1, 2, 3

bob broke down and LET me get this....i don't know what the big damn deal is!!!!

also, this......and of course a bunch of stocking stuffers!!

and OUR christmas gift we still have to get. i have a secret. i shouldn't tell cause if you live around me and beat us to it i will be very upset!!! but here it goes. the walmart i went to did NOT do pre-orders. so what they get in will be first come first serve. so i was planning on stalking the walmart at midnight, but bob said he wouldn't be comfortable with me out by myself, so he is going to go for it. the only thing i don't like is that on the walmart website they have a bundle package, and that is what we wanted, but the guy at the store said they are only selling the systems in the sale paper. that sucks!! i don't want to stall around and NOT try and get it at the store and HOPE that the online site gets some in before chirstmas. hell, maybe if we end up with 2 we will put one up on ebay.

speaking of which. like i said i finished my shopping today, then when i came home i remembered that i had bid on an auction.......needless to say i won, and it is what i just damn bought!!!! AAAAHHHHHHHHHH.........so that too is either going back to the store, or up on ebay.....or if any of you want to purchase a interactv with a few discs, let me know.

bob is down watching the game........lord how i hate sports!!!!!!!!! it is a good thing that it is a night game, hence we got to finish our shopping, but i want to watch my damn shows!!!!!

which brings me to our damn DVR box is screwing up again! at least this time i didn't lose anything, but it keeps coming on like it is taping, and it won't let you do anything. i hate technology!!!!!!!!!!!!! i still haven't got our dvd recorder to work either! SUCKS!

well, i am off, guess i can go watch some of my shows in the bedroom!

night all!!

P.S. I just finally added my pictures from niagara falls over at my flickr thing on the left.....check em' out!

~11-9-05~ Update

2005-11-09T00:45:00.000-05:00

well i think we are finally getting well here!!!!!!!!!!!!!

woo-hoo! it has only been like a month!!!!

i finally got my voice back on sunday. that was awful!!!!! thankfully it was during the weekend, because if i had been stuck with clay by myself all day with no voice, i would have went insane.

so just a few quick things.

is anyone else going as nuts as i am about who is going to die on lost tomorrow?!?!?! i have been waiting for 3 weeks!!!!!!!!!!!! what the hell. the only one i would want it to be is shannon, i can't stand her!! i'm still pissed that boone died and not her!! if not her, then as long as it is someone i don't know. like that is really going to happen. guess we will find out tomorrow.

also.......is bob and i the only one's who like the weaver family on the amazing race? did we miss something?!?! i don't understand why everyone hates them????? on the show and on a few blogs that i have read. i like them!

i think that is about it. my throat is getting a bit sore now, which is upsetting me, i don't want to go backwards!!!! so i am off to bed, early for a change!! well, early for me!

take care!

~11-4-05~ FRUSTRATED!!

2005-11-04T11:39:00.000-05:00

ok, i can still BARELY talk and it is driving me nuts!!!!!!!!!!!!!

especially trying to talk on the phone! noone can understand me!! or i have to keep repeating myself which pisses me off too!

AAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!! at least i can yell here!! :)

~11-4-05~ I'm speechless!

2005-11-04T00:34:00.000-05:00

LITTERALLY!!!!!!

for some reason i am losing my voice! i don't have a real sore throat or anything. when i cough it hurts, but that is cause it is mostly dry coughs. but i really don't feel bad at all! what the hell?!?!?! and even like i said when i cough, it doesn't hurt in my lungs, just my damn throat! weird!! hopefully i will still have a voice in the morning.

clay seems a bit better. last night he slept mostly all the way through. he cried out around 3am, and i was up to go into his room and then i heard nothing else. he did however, come in my room around 5am. i fought with him, but i took him right back to his bed, and thankfully he fell back to sleep and i don't think he was up til about 8am.

so hopefully he is on the mend. i much rather be sick that see him sick. i just hope whatever i have i don't give back to him!!!!!!!!!!!

AGAIN, why the hell aren't any of these other kids sick?!?!?! they are the ones who are probably bringing this shit into my house!!!!!!!!!!! hell we don't go anywhere! so it has to be them bringing it to us, but i never see them sick and miserable!!!!!

no news for the crazy neighbors. ashley did call today, i felt bad and answered. WE ALREADY KNOW I AM CRAZY! i still feel bad for her. the REASON i feel bad, if you remember, she is slow. she isn't all there. and i believe she was doing well for herself until she fell under the influence of her "foster mom". and i don't think her "foster mom" truly cares for ashley (or her other kids or herself for that matter), so really ashley has NO one! can you even imagine a life like that?!?! at 21, probably even functioning at a lower level. to have NOONE!!!!!!!!

i mean the poor girl is in jail and calls me. and not even to really say anything!! she had noone else to call! i know i am a big ole sap! i'm sorry, i just feel too much sometimes!!!

in other depressing news, i think i am starting my period!!!!!!!!!! which sucks! especially since i wasted 2 damn pregnancy tests!!!! to even stick it to me more, i took the damn test this morning, and i am gonna damn spot this evening!!! thanks for shattering the hopes i had!!

there is still that like 1% of me that is just hoping the spotting is from implantation. with my ectopic, i started to spot when i was supposed to have my regular period, so i just thought i was having a VERY LIGHT one for a change. that is normal sometimes, NOT IN MY CASE THEN!! but we should DEFINITELY know in a few days.

if not back to the sex! UGH! not to make it sound awful, but my cycles are off a few days all the time, so in determining when i am ovulating, there are several days it could be, so to be safe it would be best to have sex for like a week straight! that is a damn lot of sex!!!!!!!!!!!! i am not in my 20's anymore!!!! i know bob will be loving it, what guy wouldn't! but it sort of takes the fun out of it ya know.

i could always get those ovulation predictor kits, but my whole thing is, that i still won't know what the hell side i am ovulating from!!!!!!!!!!!!!! THAT is what i need to know!! if it is the left, i'm screwed! (double!) then it was all basically for nothing. then we have to do the whole wait it out again. this sucks! i really, REALLY feel for couples who have been trying for a mightly long time. that has to be so terribly frustrating and disappointing. i don't know if i would have that in me. well, if not this time, hopefully next time, for everyone who is trying!

i have to pay bills and that sucks! looking at that nice paycheck and knowing it is almost all going to be gone in about a half hour sucks!!!!!!!!!

well that is about all for me..........good night!

P.S. everyone wish tricia GOOD LUCK on her new job she starts tomorrow! go get 'em girl!!!!

~11-3-05~ The saga continues!!

2005-11-03T01:20:00.000-05:00

i will save all the drama for the end of the post, before i get to all of that, some news that actually relates to ME!

i thought clay was getting better. he actually didn't cough at all last night til almost 3am. he did get up and come in my room, but i gave him a cough drop, put him back in bed and that was it! he wasn't up til 7:30am!!!

so about 3:30 this afternoon, i happen to feel him and he feels like he is on FIRE!!!! i ran and got the thermometer and he had a fever of 103.6!! so i called the doctor and of course they suggested he come in. well after carting him and kids to the doctor, and sitting in the damn exam room for ALMOST AN HOUR!! she comes in, checks him out, and says she thinks he has a sinus infection. so i got even MORE medicine now!

hopefully THIS will work!!!!!!!!!!!! me?? i still don't know what my deal is. hopefully i will get better soon as well, or i may have to break down and go to the doctor's my own self.

i did break down and take that test on monday. NEGATIVE! i knew i should have waited!!!! i think i am going to take the other one in the morning. FINGERS CROSSED!

well to the drama........i don't even know if i have the time or energy to post it all right now........so you remember what i was saying the other day............(how do i link back to a previous post?) *i think i got it....

anyways....they got back in town on tuesday. well when i got back from the doctors tonight the "foster" daughter, ashley called and wanted me to look something up on the computer and about her phone being lost....i just told her i would call her back we were in the middle of searching for our ATM card (yes, again for the 500millionth time) so it wasn't found so i sent bob out with a credit card to get some food. so i called ashley to do whatever and this lady answered the phone. i asked to speak with ashley and she said ashley was there but she wasn't letting her speak on the phone.

i was like "um, ok??"

the she proceeded to tell me she was donna's ("foster" mom) mom and her and ashely got into it today. then she tells me that ashley jacked her or something i don't know. all i got was, "i'm a 52 year old woman! the only way she got it on me is cause i didn't have no shoes on and i was sliding on the wet leaves in the driveway...."

i was like "oh, wow? um, where is donna" i get, "she here" me: "oh, ok?"

then she goes on, "i should really call the cops on her. but they be havin the cops over her all the time and people here have warrants."

me, "oh, yeah?"

she continues, "there was one time some guy spoke bad about me, and donna whipped his ass, this girl ashley beat me down and donna's not doing nothing! i'm her own mamma! ashley is nothing but donna's fuck girl. anything donna wants ashley will do...........on and on and on and on.........

then i told her who i was and she thanked us for the cigarettes that she has been bumming off of us all week, we finally just gave her a pack sunday. i finally got off the phone.

so we are eating dinner, then ashely shows up. so we ask her what the heck is going on. she said the grandma hit her first and then she just started whomping on her.

oh mind you this all happened cause ashley wanted to come over to use the computer, but the grandma didn't want ashley to take the kids yet cause they didn't eat.....*people i don't understand how something like that turned to blows really, but then again, look who i am dealing with.

so i asked ashley who in the house had warrants, that the grandma spoke of. ashley said the grandma. for parole violation, i asked for what and she said she didn't know. anyways, we also got out of her that that dude was back living over there!!!!

so she was up on the computer and the little boy came and got her, they tore out like a bat out of hell. a bit later, donna, the mom, calls me to tell me that the cops came and arrested ashley. i was like, "really? oh wow?" like why are you telling me this? she said she talk to me tomorrow. i NEVER talk to this woman!

so anyways, it is now 8:30 and we go upstairs to get clay ready for bed, and the doorbell rings. i'm on the toilet being nosey, here it is the grandma! so she is telling bob what happened.

here i guess it started like i said, ashely wanted to come over here and the grandma said no let the kids eat first. then ashley got mad and yelled at her to stop telling her what to do and "thre" the stroller at the grandma. the grandma got up and grabbed her or something then i guess ashely just started punching on her. i really wish you could hear the woman telling the story, cause it was too funny, but not! i can't even do it justice by typing it all.

so move on to other subjects. she says she is concerned about her grandkids, cause she doesn't like to see them living the way they are. she said she did call KIDS or something, but they would take the kids, but not grandma too, and grandma doesn't have anywhere to go (note on that: apparently her man or something had cancer so she quit her job to care for him and he just died recently. they had to sell their house and all their belongings for his care, so now she is homeless, jobless and penniless *truth, who knows) she was going on about how awful her daugher is, and she can't believe that she gave birth to her. that she is a liar and a manipulator.

so we then asked her if ashley is donna's foster daughter. NOPE!

then we asked if the other kids were foster's (like donna told us). NOPE!

i really can't even type everything here, but grandma seemed to be making really good sense to me about the enviroment over there! even if she is full of shit in general, i was saying halleluiah to 99% of it.

she then had to call several people and tell them the whole story, cause i guess donna was calling everyone and telling them lies? so i got to hear the story about 3 more times.

she was also saying that donna is scizophrenic. and also that she is NOT pregnant, and that she can't get pregnant!!! and that dude DOES think that donna really is! also, i don't know if i mentioned about the "husband" that lives there and this dude too. well here the husband didn't know that dude was her boyfriend, he thought he was a COUSIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON OVER THERE?!?!?!?!?!?

then she called ashley's REAL grandmother. told her the story. and here ashley wasn't even really arrested because of beating up the grandma, but on some warrant that she had about some credit card fraud or something!!!!!!!!!!!!!! she then proceeded to tell the grandma that ashley was sleeping with WOMEN!! i know my mouth hit the floor on that one! not the act, but i can't believe she told her grandma!!!!

also supposedly they are moving in 2 weeks to some low income housing or something. bob later called the landlord (bob's friend) and he said he already put an eviction notice in the mail cause they haven't paid rent. everyone who lives there gets some sort of SSI and welfare, and disability. the grandma said that donna gets like 5 disability checks. she confused me on why, something about some blood disorder? i don't know! but she said they are all about $500 a piece!!

so if you read here, you read how i feel awful for these kids cause i don't think they get to eat. so the grandma was saying about how they haven't had meat in like 2 or 3 days, they have been eating the ramen noodles and beans and franks.....she said she had to go in donna's room to get something and there on the floor were bags and bags of take out food that donna and that dude have been eating but NOT the rest of the family, including the KIDS!!!!!!

anyways she said that ashley's grandma said she was NOT going to get her out, but to keep her in there to get her away from donna!

i thought that ashley was living there to basically take care of the kids. which is partly right. but i also found out that ashley is PAYING $300 to live there!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! that tripped my shit out cause poor ashley has NO life! she can't go out, she is always taking care of the kids. she gets up with them, gets them off to school, and gets them when they come home from school. she is ALWAYS with those kids. i thought that was like her job, and in return she got a place to stay! now to find out she is paying!!!!! fuck that!!

it is just a big ole mess over there!!!!!!!!!! the lady didn't leave til after 10pm!! and i also gave her another pack of cigarettes! hell i don't know what i am going to write about after these people leave! haha!

there is a ton of stuff i didn't even put in here. it is all just craziness!!

i just feel soooooooooooooooo bad for the kids! they really, really are GOOD kids! SOMEHOW!! i asked bob tonight if there was a way we could adopt all of them. yes, i am crazy! i was only HALF kidding!!!!!!!! they don't deserve what they are being given. they should have so much more. they are cute and funny, and just so full of hope and potential. to see that being taken away right in front of my eyes is so depressing!! i feel so helpless!!

i thought about writing a letter to child services, apparently the call we made did no service! but then you hear those horror stories about those poor kids put into the system! especially since i am 100% sure they would all be broken up and not kept together, there are 5. i think they rely and depend on each other. it is just such a tough call. i mean if i knew they were getting beat or starved, but then again the mental things these poor kids are dealing with may be just as bad.

then when they do move, it is going to drive me nuts NOT knowing how they are doing. at least here i can sort of keep an eye on things. maybe i will just have to do the letter, at least for my peace of mind.

well, i really have to go.....again it is super late! but i hear no coughs so far tonight, hopefully that is a good sign!

take care everyone!!!!

~11-1-05~ quick

2005-11-01T01:16:00.000-05:00

go HERE

enter for the email address to log in: the_ewells@yahoo.com, then password blogger. you can check out all the houses that i have in my SAVE file.

~11-1-05~ Today????

2005-11-01T00:31:00.000-05:00

well i am debating on taking a pregnancy test tomorrow. i just don't want to take it early and waste the damn thing!! but i want to know!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

i got the early tests that say you can test as early as 4 days BEFORE your period. i usually start about the 5th. so technically i could test the 1st. the test results are:

dected teh hormone levels in 69% of women 4 days before; 83% 3 days before; and 93% 2 and 1 days before.

so i don't know! i may just wait til the 2nd to do it.

aside from my cough, i was wondering if my general crapiness feeling could be because i am pregnant. i didn't have any of that the first time, but then again i slept all day!!! and didn't have a 3 year old to chase after. and my boobs have started hurting. that was a DEFINITE with my first pregnancy and AT THE GET GO!!!! that was wonderful to deal with for 9 months, actually longer, casue it was worse while breast feeding!!!!!!!

then again, this could all be in my mind! you know how the brain can work!!

why does my child NOT start coughing until this time when i come upstairs?!?!?! and it is no fail he will be up shortly!

last night he was up around 1am, i finally got him to let me spray some nose stuff in his nose, but then he wanted to see daddy......so i let him go lay with bob. i finally went in there about 2am. i laid down then tossed around wondering if i should put him back in his own bed. finally about 2:30am i decided to try and take him in there.

i picked him up, he stayed asleep, carried him in there, laid him down, was happy.....as soon as i was about to leave the door.....MOMMMMMMMYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!! i think i finally made it back to be after 3am sometime. and of course around 6am he was in there again!!

i really don't want to cave cause he is sick, but then again.....HE IS SICK! HE WANTS HIM MOMMY AND DADDY!!!!!

and whenever he some out crying "MY SICK" it breaks my heart!!!! so i don't even think i am going to fight tonight. lets face it, i am going to get NO sleep either way, so i may as well do it without the fight and just let him sleep in the bed! i seriously don't see ANY sign of us getting better!!!!!!!! i think we really may have to head to the doctors!! BOTH of us!!

the last time i was sick, sick i was a few months pregnant with clay. i had bronchitis, which turned into pneumonia. that sucked! i used to get bronchitis ALL the time, like several times a year when i was younger. thankfully that stopped! and again i haven't had it for over 3 years! i guess i have felt it coming on for the past few months, just the wheezes, but now i have the damn cough! but it hasn't got bad like it usually does. even the wheezing. i haven't had to use my inhaler at all.

i really think a lot of it is because i am so damn lazy. i don't MOVE! i really need some type of cardio to build my heart and lungs up. you get tired and winded being pregnant, me already being that will will be even worse!!

i think he is up...........

well that wasn't too bad, but it was a fluke, he will be up again shortly.

another thing i will NEVER have in my house again, SQUEAKY FLOORS!!!!! which sucks, cause i like older houses, but damn!!

speaking of houses, i found a few more that are ok. one that i really like kind of sucks cause it is a modular home. i know there is nothing wrong with modular homes....i just don't like the looks from the outside!! and why don't people ever build garages with theirs?!?!

anyways HERE it is.....check out the other pictures, it is REALLY nice inside!!

it is almost all that i want! LAND, yes, almost 2 acres! clost to mom, YES, about 16 minutes, finished basement, YES, and there are even some bonuses, like the pond (LOVE), the pool, and the PRICE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

i really would like 3 floors, but hell you can add on can't you?! i mean for that price, in time...........

i don't know...........

well, i better be off now. who knows when he is going to be back up. i'll let you all know what i do about the test!!

~10-31-05~ HELP!

2005-10-31T11:15:00.000-05:00

um, does anyone know how to get salt out of a black childs hair??????

it is ALL the way down to the scalp!!!!!!!!!!

i was in here on the computer while the kids were playing in clay's room. i went to check on them since they were being awfully quiet......i walk in and amariah is digging in the damn vaporizor vicks, and is rubbing it on her lips!!!!!!!!!!!

so i snatch her up and realize it is gritty, here the salt that i had in there to put in the water is all mixed in with the vicks, not to mention ALL over her!!!!

so i got all the vicks off her, but i am at a loss as to what to do about the salt!!!!

i tried rubbing it out, i tried blowing it out, i tried picking it out....not working so much! guess it doesn't help that her mom was in a hurry this morning and didn't brush her hair, so it is a mess!!!!!!!

well i guess now these people will realized how imcompitent i am as a sitter and they will quit bringing their child over here for me to watch!!!!!!!!!!!!

ya think??????????????????????????

her mom should be back soon, i just feel like an idiot....."she was good, but she has a ton of salt in her hair!" oh and she smells like vicks! ha

~10-30-05~ Happy Halloween?? NOT!!

2005-10-30T15:53:00.000-05:00

i sit here listening to all the kids out trick or treating and having a good time...

we are NOT, cause we are STILL SICK!!!! DAMN IT!!!!!

just thought i would get on here and whine for a minute.

if you are out there be safe and have fun!!

~10-28-05~ Save the DRAMA for yo MAMA!!!!!!!

2005-10-28T12:05:00.000-04:00

why does everyone have to bring their drama to me?!?!?!?!?!?

"the enighbors" that i wrote about the other night are at it again.....

the "foster" daughter, that i don't even think is a foster daughter now, came over this morning crying, asking to use the phone to call cleveland. i thought she said that her mom put her hands on her.......

here it was her mom's mom. YES, her mother is in cleveland AGAIN!!!!!!

so she called her mom, then called the cops.........

like usual, i don't even get the whole story, so i don't know what the fuck these people are doing, but the cops would not let ashley back in the house, so she came back over crying some more and called her mom back. along with some other people, i don't know!

so then i talked to ashley's mom and she asked if she could stay here til she could catch the bus to cleveland at 3:30. oh, and also could i give ashley $2.50 for the bus.

WHY THE FUCK DOESN'T THE MOM BRING HER ASS HOME, INSTEAD OF BUSING ASHLEY TO CLEVELAND?!?!?!?!?!?

I MEAN ALL HER KIDS ARE HERE!!!!! ashley is 22, her REAL (i am not even sure on that story any more) kids, 4 more of them, are here, and are going to be staying with that woman?????? and that woman didn't even get the 4 year old ready today and off to school.

lord i swear!!!! these people give me a damn headache! so ashely just took the bus to her aunts to try and get money to get to cleveland.

whatever!!

so a little while ago, the realtor place called and someone wants to show the house tomorrow....between 10-10:30!!!!!!! of course we still aren't done! bob has the damn living room ceiling all tore up cause he wanted to fix some cracks before we painted, so now it looks worse than orginally!!! i told him he should get that done at least before people come see and think our ceiling is falling in or something. i doubt that will happen!!

so who knows what this place is going to look like tomorrow!!

well clay is on my lap and he keeps typing while i am and i am getting tire of backspacing to correct everything, so i am out of here for now.

P.S. i finally got him some medicine from the doctors, but it tastes BAD, so it is hard to get him to take it. bob is taking it back to the pharmacy tonight to get some of that tasty stuff in it, hopefully that works. especially since they CHARGE you for it!!!!! guess nothing is free in this world huh?!! well unless you come here and eat my food, have me watch your kids and use my phone.........

~10-26-05~ Quick catch up

2005-10-26T01:08:00.000-04:00

well i haven't posted lately. not much time and actually not much happening.

clay is still sick. it got real bad over the weekend! thankfully it was the weekend, cause the one night i didn't get himself or myself to bed til after 5am, so luckily bob let me sleep. you just have to looooooooove sleeping all day! god i DO!!!!!

well speaking on that jinxed me, clay just got up. luckily he went back to sleep pretty easily, even though it took like 2 times to finally get out of there without him waking back up. GOD I HATE SQUEAKY FLOORS!!!!!!!!!!!! I SOOOOOOOOOOOO WILL NOT HAVE THEM IN MY NEXT HOUSE!!!!!!!!!!

i thought we were over the whole light sleeping issue, but now that he is sick and coughing every 5 seconds, i don't think he is actually GETTING to sleep fully. so now he is waking at every creek of the floor. and i am sure that is why he keeps getting up in the middle of the night as well.

sunday night he actually SLEPT THROUGH THE NIGHT! and didn't even get up til 7:30am!!! i was so happy! but then last night he was up again at about 3am, and then up for good again around 6am! the only good on that today was that he fell asleep around 10am today and we slept til almost 2pm!!!! that was wonderful. i had to fight a little to get him to finally go to sleep for bedtime, but not as bad as i had imagined. hell he can get up everday at 6am if we can sleep from 10-2!!

we are still doing stuff to the house. we had people come look at it saturday morning, but haven't heaerd anything back....WHAT'S NEW?!?! we are going to have an open house the first sunday in november. i am sooooooo totally at the point of whatever! i seriously don't think we are going to be moving this year!!

not that just noone is offering on mine, but even if we do get an offer, there are like NO houses going up for sale now that winter is coming! there are still a few on the market that we like somewhat, but i keep waiting for a house to blow me away like the one we SHOULD HAVE HAD down in canton south. as soon as i saw the listing i almost fainted, and knew it was the one!!!!!!!!

the one in uniontown is definitely THAT, but with a heftier price tag, and the load lady is saying it won't work!!! so FUCK!!

as for baby #2, i still don't know. i hate this waiting shit!!!!! i have like a week before i can test. it is driving me nuts! i keep gettig little twinges that i am pregnant, but that is probably just all in my head. i don't think i had any signs when i was pregnant before. granted the last time i was pregnant, it wasn't and "actual" pregnancy, so i don't remember much. the first time i didn't know i was pregnant, until after i didn't get my period, so didn't think to look for any signs. even once i did know, i don't remember if i had any tell tale signs.....i take that back, my boobs were very sore, but i don't remember at what point of the pregnancy that started. i know the first time too that i had terrible gas pains, as bad as the pain as when my ectopic ruptured, that is why i didn't know that it had ruptured! but that too i don't think was til about a month into my pregnancy. plus hell, i always have gas pains, so what's new?! guess we will just have to wait for the test! i'll tell you what, pregnancy tests sure have come down in price since the last time i had to buy one! i think i just got a box of 3, NAME BRAND EVEN, for under $10! how come i remember like 1 generic being almost $20?! then again, that was long ago, and my mind has been slipping since then................

on the the hooligans.......they weren't over much last week and boy was is nice!!!!!

quiet is so nice! then i talked to the mom the other day, cause she still hasn't been down to pay me, but she has called.......ummmmm, she lives 2 houses down, why can she call and not come over????????????????? whatever.....then she had the nerve to say i know the girls weren't down there for a few days, so you know how many days you had them?

WHAT???????????????????????????????????????????? OK, LADY, I GET $30 EVERY 2 WEEKS!! so i don't have the kids for a few days and you are going to take money away from me???????????????? especially since i have been buying their damn snacks with MY money, since she has NEVER yet sent ANY down?!?!?!

and then i was thinking, yeah the older girl was off since she had her tonsils out, but that monday, SHE was here with HER kid, and the other girls got off school early and then they were here too!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! so that day should count!!!!! so actually it may have been 1 day they weren't here. i don't know but, jesus christ, you are going to nit pick over a day or 2 that i didn't have them after all the shit i do for YOUR family!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

i just gave them a phone, for some reason they don't have one???? they have that phone through the cable and it NEVER works, so there were here using it a bunch of times........i never did get back all of my lawn chairs that i let her use for her home and garden party............she had borrowed a ton of my nail polish and had it forever............i just do a lot for those damn people!

oh and did i mention that the father, he is only the father to the 2 youngest girls, his son plays in the NFL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! so how in the hell are these people so hard up?!?!?!?!?! i just don't get it.......

the dad was actually home early today, so they left early today. the little white girl allyah, i don't think i spelled it right, she usually comes over after school too, anyways, she left when the girls did, but she came back later. i sent her home around 5:30 cause it was time to eat, then she came back a little after 6 and stayed til about 7. she doesn't really bother me much. she is only 6, so i think since she is closer in age to clay the actually somewhat play together. she is sort of lound and obnoxious, but she is 6! i heard she has ADHD, i don't really believe in all of that. i mean i know some kids really do, but i think more than not, mostly it is kids being kids! her mom always goes on and on about how noone wants to watch allyah. i don't know if she is just hinting or what, and i am smart enough to just say "oh", and that is it. and remember i did tell her no when she asked if i babysat. anyways i don't think she is bad. i don't know why people think she is so horrible. so it wasn't a bad night at all.

we got our patterns set for our pumpkins that we still have NOT carved. i'm surprised they aren't rotted by now. i went to print them out and of course, i am out of light blue and yellow ink. with my printer when you are out of ANY color, the WHOLE thing will not work. STUPID!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! so now i have to go and get some damn cartridges, in case i want to print ANYTHING! luckily i finished the collage i made of clay the other day without running out. seeing as how i haven't printed anything since that, i JUST made it!! you should see how darling the collage is!!! i just love it! but you all know my kid is just sooooo damn cute!! haha!! well, i know, and that is all that matters! :)

i was going to chat about some tv shows, but damn look at the time! it is almost 2am, i seriously need to get to bed!!!

night all!!

~10-21-05~ SLEEP DAMN IT!!!!!!!!!!!

2005-10-21T12:05:00.000-04:00

right now it is incredibly cute cause clay is singing his "ABC's". he forgets a few and jumbles a few, but it is so damn cute that i almost, ALMOST forget andforgive the fact that he has been up since 2am!

yes, 2 fucking AM!!!!! he finally fell back to sleep at about 7:30am, but just as i was saying a good ole thank you lord, he was up by 8am!

what the hell is up with that?!?!?!?! so, know how much sleep i have had. NADA!!!! i have dozed off here and there for a bit, after 5am, i went into our bedroom and announced to bob that i was DONE, and couldn't do this any longer. so i think he got up for the most part, and i probably drifted for a little bit, but whatever i got doesn't really count, at least to my brain and body it doesn't cause i feel as if i am going to lose it any second!

and to think i could be pregnant right now and have to go through this all over again..........AAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

we are currently on day 4 of trying for kid #2. it just sucks that now i have to wait until the 5th to see if i get my monthly visitor. i checked out some early pregnancy test, but they say you can check as early as 4 days before your period. 4 days...ppffttt! hell i might as well just wait the damn 4 days! it ain't that damn EARLY! i want to know now!!!!!

i wish i could know if i ovulated from the right or left ovary! that way i could tell if we are just wasting our time and hopes right now or not! that is what is driving me crazy the most!!! no what drives me most crazy right now is that my child is here tearing up the computer room, but i am just too damn tired right now to even deal with it. yelling and telling him to stop won't work. and i just don't feel like getting off of this chair. when i do, it will be to go back and lay on the couch. then i have to deal with kids around 2:30!!!!!!!!!!

i shouldn't complain about that much now though, i think they were only here once this week so far. let me tell you know nice it was yesterday to not have to answer the door yesterday except for ONCE, and that was my grandpa, so that was ok....especially since that meant i got to go take a shower! woo-hoo! oh the little things that make me happy these days!

we did some more painting and fixing up last night. someone is coming to look at the house tomorrow between 10:30am-11:30am. so we are trying to get as much done as possible. i think we nixed the whole wallpaper idea. even though it would look soooooooo nice. we are just making too much work for ourselves. we put up the chair rail and it looks beautiful! so now tonight we will probably just do some touch up painting, and bob has to paint the ceilings. then after clay goes to sleep we will have to MAJOR CLEAN AND PICK UP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! that is the hardest part. it seems that amongst this whole painting and fixing my house became a total disaster again! he cleared some more stuff out of the basement, but that also means it is more of a mess down there! but that is his job! i'll pick up and clean the upstairs.

well i desperately need to go lay down, did i mention that last night i also broke down and took some nyquil. yeah that is real good to take when you are going to get NO sleep! so i have to go catch up.

talk to ya'll later! take care!

~10-18-05~ Still here

2005-10-18T15:18:00.000-04:00

these people around me make me so tired, it makes me relive it AGAIN by writing about it! so at night when i want to write i am already too tired to "re-live" it all again!

hey anon. i wasn't offended by your comment, and did not take it in a bad way. i appreciate you reading and commenting!

anyways.......so last week that girl had her tonsils out. i had to watch her daughter the day of, no biggie really....i don't think, can't remember back that far nowdays!

then thursday her mom called BEFORE i was even out of bed in the AM, i didn't answer. these people kept calling like every 10 damn minutes! she finally left a message that she, the daughter, wasn't doing too good, and she wanted me to go down and check on her, cause her daughter, the daughter's daughter, was kind of driving her batty. well, i STILL did NOT answer! i brought clay upstairs and we HID OUT all day. yes, i felt guilty!!!!!!!!!!! but aren't you all a bit proud?! i knew they wanted me to take the little one. i finally caved about 1pm and went down there, but she wasn't home. i did have her a little later that night, but again, no biggie.

THEN friday comes and the daughter sent her sister down to see if i could take her daughter to get her pictures taken cause she still wasn't feeling well. WHAT?!?! cancel the damn things then!!! well i had a REAL excuse, my nail girl was coming to do my nails. again, i felt bad, but i really couldn't! then my nail girl goes and does a no-show!!! later that night the daughter sent her sister down AGAIN asking if i could watch the little one for a bit, since she still wasn't feeling well. i lied and said we were about to eat and i would be down later. i was staying at home to pay bills, while bob went and got food. i also told her that i would only be able to watch her til about 8pm, cause that is when i get clay ready for bed. so a little after 6 i sent bob down to get her. then the mom walks in the door with the little one. then i saw whe was CRYING! i was like oh my god are you ok?!?! she was in A LOT of pain! she could barely talk and she said she could barely swallow. i felt terrible! she laid on the couch and fell asleep, meanwhile i tried to call her mom at her second job, but couldn't get a hold of her. then i felt realy guilty and bad for not helping out earlier. so we let her sleep. clay and the little one played and bob and i hung up our new blinds in the sunroom.

i ended up taking clay up to bed around 9pm and was SHOCKED that he didn't throw a fit. i came down and bob was rocking the little one. we then went outside to smoke and i was outside for about 2 minutes holding her and she was OUT! i think the mom came and got them both when she got home from work around 10pm. i really felt bad for the girl, but damn! how did she give birth!!! i mean i know she is only 21, and still sort of young to be going through stuff, but again, HOW IN THE WORLD DID SHE GIVE BIRTH?!?! and she actually wants to move out on her own?????????? i don't think she would make it!!!!

saturday mom took clay and we did more painting! the same with sunday! and we are still not done!!!!!!!!!!!! lord the work i am making for us! but it does look nice! with we would have done this 6 years ago!!

so yesterday i had to go to the girlie doctor. fun, fun! told her we are trying for #2 now. so i got some prenatal vitamins, and got some more info on my "problem". i was REAL pissed that the doctor who i blame for my problem, i know, told me that even though i only had 1 fallopian tube left, that even if i ovulated from my left ovary that the egg would still make its way over to the right tube. well the lady that i go to and trust, say that is NOT true!

so i better start praying that i ovulate mostly from my right, since that is the only tube i have. i would like to wait another month before trying to get pregnant, but in case it is harder, i don't want to miss the opportunity! so we are supposed to start trying tonight. i should be ovulating. the 2 times that i have had sex, when i WAS ovulating and NOT on birth control i got pregnant, so i know my cycle.....so fingers crossed.

bob is excited he is going to be getting sex the next few days. so he should be in a good mood for a while.

so then back to my exciting life............last night i was watching my soaps and i kept hearing something. i kept pausing my soap to listen.....i thought i heard people yelling. so my nosey butt went to the window. i saw someone walking quite a ways down the road, so i assumed it was them. then i say a woman riding a bike toward the person walking. by this point i know it is the "other neighbors". so i hear more yelling, so i go out on my porch. i look down the road and i see that the bike is in the middle of the road on the ground. then i see her and him arguing. it is dark and can't see much, so then i panic, like what should i do???????? i sort of go in the house, just as bob comes out to see what is going on.....then we look back and she is laying in the middle of the road....at this point i call 911 and specifically tell bob to stay put! i know that is awful, but nowdays, it can be dangerous to help people. TRUST ME, that is awful! but it is the truth! and i know bob and he would all get into it with whoever trying to help and i don't need that! we have a son to think about! so just as i hang up with them we see the guy on top of the girl, i don't know what is going on, so i call 911 back to tell them to HURRY and then bob takes off down there!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

so then i have to go down there. here the guy was trying to help the girl up, and the daughter ran down there as well. ashley, the one that is always her using the phone**remind me to tell you about that** so bob sort of got loud at one point with the guy, cause they were all sort of arguing, but then it came out that this broad is 6 months pregnant!!!!!!!! WHAT?????!!!!!! like that is all she needs is another one!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! especially with this guy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! this is the one that was kicked out a while back...........and who about 2 weeks ago was kicked out again by the cops for supposedly attacking ashley!!!!!

so anyways, they guy is saying he grabbed the bike and they both fell, and i think she was trying to say a different story, cause she kept asking if i saw it. and i don't really think i did. thinking back after we got home, i am thinking that i may have seen him push her later, but they were in a driveway, not in the road with the bike....everything happened so fast and it was dark, and i was freaked, i don't remember!

she is going to take him back anyways so what is the point. i think they took him. they handcuffed him and put him in the car before we left. she was talking about pressing charges, but i was rolling my eyes on the inside. she didn't go with the ambulance, so i don't know what that was all about.....we left before that anyways. just ridiculous!

and it just pisses me off! if i have a problem getting pregnant and this broad is AGAIN all while not taking care of the 5+ she has! what the fuck! oh well.

**about ashely using the phone. i got my phone bill there is like $45 dollar of long distance on there!!!!!!!! WTF?!?! how are you going to use someone else's phone to do that! in that there was like 8 3-way calls and i don't have that so that is $1.99 a pop! i made bob go over and tell her. and of course she said she gets her check on the 30th, so she will give it to us then. i mean she didn't deny it or anything. when he told her she was just like uh-huh. AAAGGHHH!!!!!

so then saturday she came over to borrow $1, cause the kids needed milk, her mom was in cleveland AGAIN. i was like, damn ashely you are going to owe us your whole check soon!! and YES I DID SAY THAT!!!!!!!!!!!! she just sort of laughed it off saying, i know, but i was damn serious!!!!!!

i will be on her ass the 30th. her mom borrowed $10 from us before, i was REALLY shocked that we got it back. granted me had to call and "remind" them, so who knows if we wouldn't have called them on it.................

i just know we need to get out of here!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

well my kid has been asleep for wayyyyyyyyyyy too long. i thought the girls were coming over after school and he would be up about 3pm, guess the older sis (tonsil girl) is home, so i need to wake him before he doesn't go to bed tonight.

sunday night/morning he got up AGAIN about 3:30am, and would NOT go back to sleep! he didn't end up going back to sleep til after 5am!!!!!! what the hell?????!!!!!!

oh well. wish us luck on the baby #2 thing and i will let you all know our progress!

have a good day!

~10-14-05~ OOOOH, ME SO CRAZY!!

2005-10-14T00:49:00.000-04:00

well i just went ape shit on ebay!!

lately at night when getting clay ready for bed, we put in this dvd i got him for his brithday.....he loveeeeesssss it. needless to say i am getting tired of the same damn dvd!

so i started to look for some new ones on there, and before you know it i bid on and won 4 auctions! i think i lost 1 or 2 and that is FINE!!! you start bidding, well i do, then forget what i already bid on and then i have 50!

so while i was looking i thought to myself, i am awfully tired of the cd's we listen to while reading books as well, why not look for some of those too..........

well 2 auctions later i have 10 cd's! and another ends in 35 minutes that i am winning and that is another 3 cd's!!!

then i was like fuck it, we should probably get some new books too since we read the same ones over and over.........

you guessed it, 2 auctions=121 books!! and i still have 2 going on that i am winning and that is for another 81 books!

i got some cute stuff though, check out the links:

DVD's:

1

2

3

4

CD's:

1

2

-pending:

3

BOOKS:

1

2

-pending:

3

4

OTHER:

1

yeah, should have waited for christmas! maybe it will be an early gift, good thing he is still young, he really doesn't know that he is getting something or not, so that'll work, for now! :)

well all this spending money has be wore out, so i am off to bed!

good night!

~10-13-05~ Response

2005-10-13T00:57:00.000-04:00

this is in response to anon. thanks for reading and commenting.

i appreciate what you said, and i am fully aware that in most cases i AM being taken advantage of, but it is really MY OWN fault. i have this thing about telling people no. especially when i have no reason to, except that "i don't want to do something". and i KNOW that that is my right if i don't want to do something, but part of me feels that if i can, why not??

maybe i just like to moan and whine....i don't know. and another truth, i feel bad for these kids. i think that is another reason i put myself out there so much. i can give them some things they don't get at home. and it is really "inbred" in me.

when growing up my house, actually my dads house, was the house for everyone! neighbors, friends, someone needing something..... even when i was in high school my father had a jar full of suckers for neighborhood kids. children we didn't even know mind you! all day and evening long, these kids would come and knock at our door for suckers! at times it was VERY annoying to me, but at the same time i thought it was just a great character that my dad possessed. why he started and how it started but i don't know. but if we were low on suckers my dad had to make a special trip JUST for suckers. maybe a part of me feels like it is now my turn to sort of take over.

granted it is to a greater extreme than what my dad did.....well, not really.....i had a friend who lived with me for a while, her mom didn't give us money or anything and my dad fed and took care of her. and again, it is a bit of difference since she was my friend. but there is just something in me that wants to help where i am needed.

and these people do ask if i mind, and i always reply, "no problem....sure". so it really is my fault. a lot of days i can't wait to get out of here, but then it is like what if there are no kids or anything where we move....i am probably going to go insane with NOONE around. see, i think it is just me....i am insane!!

i think i am just not used to dealing with kids.....ALL girls at that! they are soooooooo different than boys! they really are entertaining at times. i think my stress level is elevated with all this house horseshit!

and you all will be proud to know that i did say NO to one request, actually a question. another little girl down the way comes over and plays too after school. when her mom came to get her the other day she asked if i babysit. it was a quick NO, i just watch these girls after school. i know the mom works til like 9-10 at night and there is NO WAY that is happening right now. night time is my peace time! and there was that way down deep part of me that wanted to say yes, cause i knew the lady was in need of a sitter, but i shut that part up real quick. plus bob would have shut it up if i would have said yes.

bob is the same way as me though too. guess that is why we mesh so well. i mean way before any of this, he let crazy neighbor lady borrow my car and we didn't even know her then!!!!! and on more than one occasion!!! but that all worked out fine, she is very appreciative. now that she is almost all moved out she has let me go through her stuff, and let me tell you it is like christmas for me!!! woo-hoo! me, misses pack rat was going nuts!!!! you should see the stuff i got though!

i got a couch, several (at least 4) end tables, a 3 piece dresser set with a large mirror, a nice wicker type couch, an old shelf thing, various knick knacks and odds and ends. there are still a few old tables that i want bob to get, and a filing cabinet. she has some nice wood blinds and some old rockers too that i may try and talk him into taking. we already had 2 truck loads!! we may take the fridge too. it is nice. they didn't open it after the electric was shut off and there is some nasty stuff growing in there, but it is a damn nice fridge!

i was loving it.....clay was too. i think he has inherited the love of going through other people's junk like i do. he was having a blast. he got some of those old little tupperwear kids cups....he played with those ALL last night. they are cups! he has cups! but these things were the best to him.

i will also admit that i got a diary written by the mother. i am sure it is wrong on some level, but she was letting the other stuff stay there for whoever won the house (sheriff's auction). so at least i got it and "know" them. i haven't been able to put it down. mostly cause it is just odd. it is from 1982. i wish i knew how old the mother is now, i am assuming 60's. so back in the 80's she had to be in her 40's. i just was curious to see if there were any signs of the alzheimer's then. granted i think it is weird that she kept a diary anyways, especially cause it is not very specific at all. it is one of those little ones, where there is only 1 day per the side of a page, not room at all. she would mostly just start about the weather, and who she talked to that day. not much else. but she was seeing someone. for 10 years! and he was married!!!! it broke my heart cause about every other day, she would write that she was ending it and this was the last time she was going to see him, and then 2 days later he was there, with a little heart at the top of the page. some other pages have some letters on top too, i am sooooooooo curious what that means, haven't been able to crack the code, i can probably guess what the heart stands for, i did that my own self, but then again i was like a teenager!!

so i sort of feel guilty, and another part of me just wants to stop cause what happens when it is over, then i am going to be wondering WHAT has happened! they whole things isn't filled in, so it isn't even a year. i just have sooooooooooooo many questions, but i don't want to ask abby and let her know i am reading her mom's damn diary!!!!

then i just get sad. i mean in 1982, this lady was living her life, happy at being a new grandmother, little did she know that less than 20 years later she would be stricken with this awful disease!! in one entry she talked about her hatred of hospitals. my eyes welled with tears know that now she is sentenced to one!

life.....so sad. so unpredictable! and i am whining about dealing with kids all day. i bet she would trade me for my life in a second. it really makes you think sometimes.

well now i just depressed myself!!!!! i have to think of something to end this on a positive note..........

guess i'll talk about tv for a few.

how about lost! i love it and i hate it. it is sooooo good, but it always leaves me saying, "what the fuck?!?!"

does everyone hate that italian family of the amazing race?? it can't just be me, cause god damn, those kids would be getting the back of my hand about 10 times an episode if that were me!!! i can't wait for them to go. and do you all find it more heart breaking this season when they are eliminated?? especially with the kids!!! lord that first family, i was in damn tears for those kids!!!!!

survivor. LOVE steph!!!!! i hope she starts winning immunity SOON!!!!!

next top model. i love that nik girl. i think she is soooooooooooooo pretty!! the girls all had really nice shots tonight. that coryn is getting on my nerves though. yeah, lisa can be annoying, but i don't think she is dogging on her, she is just telling her some stuff to help her. damn don't get so defensive!!

the apprentice looks to be very interesting this season. i can't stand those 2 girls that were getting the heat last week. i was pissed that donald didn't fire that stupid girl, but if he just went by the task then he did let the right girl go, she sucked at that task!

er.......LUCA!!! HOT!!!! all i need to say!

mondays SUCK!!! there is NOTHING ON!!!!!!

do ya'll watch that earl show. that is sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo damn funny! jamie presley has the BEST lines!! i wish i wrote them down from last episodes. the one i remember is when she was talking to earl about pawning his clock she say, well cigarettes don't grow on trees!! haha! she had a couple others that episode as well. GREAT show!!

desperate housewives, that show is a trip! didn't watch sunday's yet.

and extreme makeover.........still brings me to BUCKETS of tears! and guess what....they are about an hour away from me!!!! they just arrived at the house today. i told bob we may have to take a road trip over there this weekend, i don't think he will go for it though. he really doesn't want to see me drooling over ty! but come on. when i was pregnant i would lay in bed and watch that damn show all day and saturday night to see him. he is sooooooo damn cute!!!!! we will see....... i think it would be a fun experience. i know the best day would be a week from today, when the people get back to see there house, but that would be in 7 days, but i think it would be fun to go check it out, and he doesn't have to work saturday. sucks that we have so much to do here to our house! i want to go!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! it is funny....the first episode of this season they sent the family HERE to akron, about 1/2 hour away, to get the man his new leg and therapy. now they are back here again......hhhmmmmmmm. i would just love to meet them all! i like paige alot too. i saw her once on monster house and thought she was great then. and like i said, i fell for ty the first time i watched trading spaces.

well it is almost 2am....have to go check out the new house listing, then off to bed.

night all!!!!!

~10-11-05~ Here I am!

2005-10-11T01:20:00.000-04:00

yes, i suck at this whole updating thing lately!!

but i am just beat!!!!!! mentally and physically! well mostly mentally, which is worse!

i am glad to say that clay's sleeping has somewhat regulated, so that is not the problem anymore. he is usually asleep by 9 pm and stays that way til about 7:30am, which sucks, but it is better than 6am!!! i will just have to deal.

the mental stuff comes from trying to sell this damn house!! we FINALLY got a new realtor, and along with her came a LIST of things to do! WHAT?!?! i was prepared to do this shit back in march! but our then realtor said not to worry. so now we are rushing trying to get shit done, and everything that has re-cluttered the place in the last six month we are trying to get it organized and packed away. plus on top of that i have KIDS here every damn day which is really, REALLY earing on my nerves!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! more on that later.

so this past weekend, well 2 weekends we have been doing some painting inside. it looks really nice, but i just hate not being able to FINISH a project, to COMPLETION!!!! i hate this half done shit! drives me batty! we almost have the "sunroom" done. we painted, and now have to hang the blinds we got for the slider. the living room is somewhat done, we are debating on painting the ceiling since we painted the walls. the biggest thing is the foyer/upstairs hallway. we are thinking of putting up chair rail and painting. we were just going to paint below the chair rail, but the more i think about it the top needs done more, so now we may do both of that. then i also have it in the back part of my mind to paint this computer room as well. and when i think about it those are all really the least unattractive part to the house.

the ceiling in the garage looks like crap cause it used to leak. they had some partical board or something hung up there, and pieces are falling down that had got wet. so now we are debating on just tearing the whole thing down, or just trying to fix the parts that are falling and painting it. the major thing is the one wall in the garage that is basically falling in. i got most of the water to stop coming in, but it looks like total shit and there is nothing that can be done to the big ass hole there.

in the basement there is just a bunch of clutter. bob took some more to the little storage space we have left, the rest we just have to organize and have it not look so bad. my mom brought up the idea to paint the floor to make it look a bit nicer, and i do agree, but what the hell to do with all the shit that is down there?!?! and the ceiling that we hung in the laundry room looks like hell! it is falling in. so we need to come up with some idea for that, which REALLY sucks!!!!

then i had a termite inspection, cause you need one to sell your house. i knew we had really bad damage when we bought the place....well, the guy found some tubes, but he can't say if they are old, from before we bought the house, or if they are new, but it couldn't pass inspection, which means it has to be treated.....$1300!! the good thing is that they can take it out of the closing, but i just don't see why someone would buy a house with termites, even if it is going to be treated! i mean they could be like me and be in LOVE with the house, i guess i am just worried. the termite guy said it is no big deal, that more than 1 out of every 8 houses in canton has termites. so whatever.....that is my next dilema......treat it now so i can say i have NO termites, or just wait and see if someone will buy it and just take it out of the closing....either way i am out $1300!!

so there you have it.........see why i haven't been writing! oh no, wait, the kids......lord! i don't even know what i have already written or where i left off on that matter, so excuse me if i am repeating myself.

i will start by saying that KIDS ARE MEAN LITTLE FUCKERS!!! BRUTAL!!!! i swear i don't remember that from my childhood! i don't! i wasn't mean to anyone and i don't remember anyone being mean to me! the one little girl "S", she is 10, she is a little bitch! you would never know it either, and really 99% of the time i don't think she really means it, but then WHY SAY OR DO IT THEN!!!!!!!!! YOU ARE ALL KIDS FOR CHRIST'S SAKE, CAN'T YOU JUST PLAY AND GET THE F ALONG!!!!!

ok, so i am being nice, aka stupid, and am watching them when the get home from school til their parents get home. originally i said they didn't have to pay me, then it was just bring snacks, well i thought we agreed on $30 and the mom was going to send down snacks........haven't seen any snacks and school started going on 2 months ago!!!!!!!!!! so I have been getting some snacks for them. which isn't THAT bad, i watch the 8 year old and the 10 year old, so why do the older sisters come down and eat the shit?!?!?!?!? the 14 year old will call down for the younger ones to bring her something. HELLO!!! she is at home in her own house, eat your own damn food!!!!!!!!!!!!! then it gets hard, cause some other little girls sometimes come down too, so if the girls are eating, i have to give the others some too!!!!! so needless to say, the shit i buy is gone in less than a damn week, but why should i have to buy these kids food???????????????????????????????? oh and did i mention that the mother, yes, the MOTHER sent one of the girls down a while back at like 9:30 to get something to eat!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! at first i thought it was just a scam for the 14 year old to get something, but no! i talked to the mom a few days later and she apologized, but said it was that time of the month and she needed something sweet. HUH????????????????? aren't you 44 years old???????

as for the "other neighbor" situation, social services has been called, 2 times i am told, well i was witness to one, but i don't believe anything has been done about it!! the little 4 year old was dropped off today from head start, and NOONE was there to get her so the bus driver made her get back on the bus. and that has not been the first time that has happened! all i can say is that thank god their phone has been finally turned back on, so i haven't seen them for about a week now.

i need to move!!!!!!!! to save my sanity!!!!! but then what, i truly think clay will miss them! even though they aren't playing as well as the used to. he and the girls' neice, she is 18 months, used to get along great, but she started day care, and she is turning into a little brat, so now her and clay are always "at" each other. which most of it is clay, "teasing", but this girl screeches (at the top of her lungs i might add) at everything and it drives me insane! then clay is always on the 8 year old, i think it is cute as all get out, but it tends to driver her nuts sometimes, which in a way i can understand, but how can she just not love it!!! clay is so damned cute!!!!!!!!!!!! so i always have to hear, jennifer, can you tell clay to leave me alone. and i feel bad telling him to leave her alone! a lot of times it is cause they are sitting watching tv or something and i think he wants to play! so now it is getting to the point that i know as soon as they get here my child turns psycho and i have to yell at him every 3 seconds, and that is getting real OLD!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i just soooooooooooooooooo regret 2:45pm nowdays! and man do i need to be out of here by the time school is out. what then?!?!?!?! who is going to watch the kids all day?!?!?! right now the oldest sister 21, doesn't leave for work til about 1pm, but she is planning on moving out, then what?!?!?!?!?!?! i am getting a headache just thinking about it!!!!!!!!!

oh more house stuff.........then the load lady kind of pissed me off, well she didn't, but told me news i didn't like. i guess that FHA will only finance $172,000! well the house i want is going for $194,900 right now!!!!!!!!!!!!! then she went on to say something about debt to income ratio, blah, blah, blah.........so i am trying to look at cheaper houses that only have about 80% of what i want in a house when the one i want is about 99% of what i want!!!!!!!! again we aren't really trying to get "into" a house yet, we don't want to get our hearts broken like we did with that house in canton south. hopfully we can have an open house the 23rd with the new realtor. she seems to be on the ball, plus she drives a nice lexus, so she must be doing something right! hopefully she can get us out of here.

i go to the girlie doctor next week, then we are going to be trying for baby #2. i really want to be out of here by then, but we are running out of time! i planned on already being moved and pregnant by now!!!!! damn it!!!!

it is just really hectic here. by the time clay is fianlly out and i get downstairs it is after 9pm, so then we try to watch all our shows so bob can be to bed by 11pm. then i watch my soaps and what not and try to be done with that by 12:30am, and i would like to be in bed by then (look at the time now!!) so by the time i actually get in bed it is about 1:30am. who knows what time i actually fall asleep, i am starting to have THOSE THOUGHTS again, and can't get to sleep. that soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo sucks!!!! bob's alarm usually goes off around 6am, and i swear he doesn't get out of bed til 6:30-7am!!!!!! i haven't really been awake for that alot lately thank god!! i doubt i am getting more than 5 hours of sleep a night! so then when i finally drag myself out of bed in the morning, that is only cause i can just imagine what clay is into, and i usually am right, i am dead tired and just lay on the couch dozing off and on all day. i don't usually "wake" up til about noon. then i am busy racing around trying to figure out what to make for supper and clean up the house just in time for the kids to get there and mess it all up again!

well i better end it now, it is almost 1:30am!!

geeze, aren't you glad i finally updated! haha!!! watch what you wish for!

~9-27-05~ Why me??????

2005-09-27T09:13:00.000-04:00

my child was up before the sun again today!!!!!!

and i got almost noooooooooooo sleep!!!

bob was up puking all night!! i've infected him! i feel bad, even though it really isn't MY fault. i wish i knew who gave this shit to us!!!!!!!!!

i am thankful that clay didn't get it as bad as we got it though, i couldn't bear to see him like that!

poor bob seems worse than me though. he threw up several times last night. thankfully i only did once when i had it. hopefully he will be better tomorrow and this bug will be out of our house!!!!!!!!!!

i hope i didn't give it to anyone else!!!!!!!!

ok, need to check on my son.......when i said that yesterday he was in the spare room pouring powder everywhere.......AGAIN!!!!!!!!!!

stay well all!!

~9-26-05~ WHEW!!!!

2005-09-26T12:11:00.000-04:00

well that new realtor lady just wore me out!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

the stuff she wants us to do! i mean i totally understand, and i was prepared to do that BACK IN MARCH WHEN WE FIRST LISTED, and hell half of that shit WAS DONE 6 MONTHS AGO!!!!

but 6 months is a long time for shit to start piling up and clutter to be back in full force!!!

our storage unit is FULL, so i don't know what we are supposed to do with all this shit!! and NO i am not throwing anything out. i already did that! as a matter of fact, all that was really left here was stuff we are using. frivilous stuff, if there is any, is already at storage!

then she also mentioned painting and such, i really don't want to go there. most of the house we never painted when we bought, so we don't have the matching paint to just touch up. and my whole downstairs is the same color of paint. so i don't even want to think about repainting the whole entire downstairs!!!!!!!

but i do understand about the clutter. i just don't know what to do with it. when we have showings, it is all mostly hidden, but today my house was just horrible! i attempted to clean before she came, i got so hot i thought i was going to pass out, not to mention that clay was being a terror!!! that flu really takes the energy out of you!

she is doing a market analysis, and is coming back on thursday. hopefully we can get some little stuff done by then. look out mommy, i'm going to need you this week!

hell, half of me just wants to say forget it! and just stay here, but then i keep looking at this house, and this house. they are my favorites now!!!!

the first one is great, not as much land as i want, but check out the last few pictures!!!! love it!!! and the second house, i think i showed you all before, i LOVE the kitchen!!! and of course the land!!!! but i HATE the price! they have actually just came down $5000, but still the other price looks much nicer!

i am so tired! clay actually slept in til 7:30, but i was up at 6am with bobs continuous alarm!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

i don't even know how many kids i am going to have today!!! and with it raining, that means they will all be inside!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! what am i going to do in the winter?!?!?!

well i must be off, my child is being awful quiet, i have to make sure he isn't killing the cat......that isn't a joke either!!

have a great day!!!

~9-25-05~ SIGH

2005-09-25T17:24:00.000-04:00

well wednesday wasn't as bad as i thought.

MY child qas up at 6am, so i was already up at 7:30am when she brought her kid. i put a blanket for them on the floor and they basically laid there and watched cartoons, while i snoozed on the couch (what a wonderful babysitter i am!!) anyways, she was back about an hour later, her surgery was cancelled cause her doc had an emergency.

well it was a DAMN GOOD THING my child already had me up, cause if i would have got up JUST to watch her kid, i would have been PISSED!!!!!

so the usual happened the rest of the week, KIDS, KIDS,KIDS,KIDS!!!!!!

do you know i have even begun to dream of these people!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

friday i was expecting an easy day. i knew all the kids parents were off, so i wouldn't have any.........boy was i wrong!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

for some reason i still had all of them while their parents were off who knows where!!

i am leaving a TON out cause it is non-stop kids til about 8. i finally told that "other neighbor" girl that she could not use the phone after 9pm. which was a mistake cause she was here UNTIL 9pm last second on the phone! so i finally was like it is now 8pm!!!!!!!

so then friday night, actually saturday 4AM, i was in the bathroom for almost 2 hours, i will spare you all the details, but it was BAD!!!!!!!!! it was awful, and as soon as i bascially CRAWLED back into bed clay was up!!!!!!!!!!!!! i was soooooooooooooooo sick! bob asked if i wanted him to call off, but i couldn't have that, so i called my poor mom at 7:30am to see if she could come get clay, cause i didn't think i could make it out of bed. thank god for her! i know i said it a thousand million times, but it is the truth, i don't know what i would do without her! she came and got him and had him all day. and i slept ALL day!!! i even put a note on my door that said i was NOT going to answer the door cause i was sick!! pretty sad you have to put a note on your door not to be disturbed. it worked, except for a 6 year old, but i can't blame her for not being about to read.

when bob got off work, mom left, bob and clay went and got me some medicine and some soup. i finally got out of bed about 7pm so i could spend a little time with my child before bed. he is getting his butt in bed early now. if he insists on being up at the butt crack of dawn, not even dawn, the damn sun isn't even begining to come up at 6am when he is awake, he will be going to bed before 9 damn it!!!! so he fought that a bit, but finally went down.

bob and i finally watched the last big brother, which i really didn't care about since i had no desire to see which of the 2 people i couldn't stand win. and we caught up on a few more things. he got some movies, but those too will wait cause i still have to watch the apprentice and er. also that martha apprentice and that dance thing. monday we can catch up since there is NOTHING on, where the hell is fear factor?!?!?!

anyways, i am feeling better now, for the moment. i just know i am STARVING!!!!! bob and clay are off fetching taco bell, i am sure that is not the best thing for my stomach right now, but i have a craving!

i am meeting with a new realtor tomorrow. the house is a mess, and i have no energy to clean, but oh well! i just want to hear what she has to say. hopefully she can help us out and sell this damn house!!!!!!!!

those people did come on thrusday. they were here for quite a while. they were an older couple. the man looked like he could barely walk, so i don't know why they were looking at 2 story houses. as usual, i haven't heard anything, so oh well!

home makeover and housewives start tonight. so at least there is something on to watch aside from sports!!!!

i really hope my child will sleep past 6am tomorrow, but i am starting to think that is a constant now.........SIGH!!!!!

welp, i think my taco bell is here so i am outy............bye!!

2005-09-21T00:30:00.000-04:00

what the hell blogger????????????

~9-21-05~ SERIOUSLY!!!!!!!!!!!

2005-09-21T00:19:00.000-04:00

i think i am really, quickly being taken advantage of!!!!!!!!!!

yes, my fault for not being able to tell people NO GOD DAMN IT!!!!!!!!!!!

i really wish i could get into the whole thing now, but i don't have the time.....i have to get in bed since i have to watch a chile at like 7:30 A-fucking-M, even though my child doesn't get up until 9, not to mention he is sick!!!!!!!!!!!!!

but what was i supposed to say????????? no?????????? and at almost 11pm?! what the fuck?!?! how do you not know you have NOONE to watch your child, when you are getting surgery the next day?????????? and um, WHY would you schedule a surgery when you don't know if you have anyone to watch your child??????????????????

these past few days are seriously about to give me an ulcer!!!!!!!!!! i was sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo tempted to open up this bottle of wine that i have and start chugging it the other day!!!!!!!!!!!! and i don't really drink!!!!

to top it all off, i have people coming to look at my house tomorrow between 2-3!!!!!!!!!!! so i am going to have a 3 year old wild child and an 18 month old wild girl running amuck in my house while i am trying to get it presentable!!!! i was stressing out on just having mine here trying to clean, now i am going to have 2!!!!! and recently they have NOT been playing nice together!!! so on top of everything else i am going to have to watch them 2.

lord give me strength!!!!!!! i seriously need to get to bed, my stomach is getting more and more upset as i sit here and think/type about all this!!!!

good-night....lets hope clay actually sleeps through the night tonight, NOT like last night!!!!!!!!!!

~9-16-05~ ALIVE!

2005-09-16T14:21:00.000-04:00

yes, i am still alive!! even after the "vacaton from HELL!"

been busy the past few weeks. clay's birthday was the 27th, then we went on vacationt he 1st. whew! i am finally relaxing now! well, not really.

now i have the little neighbor girls, not to be confused with "the neighbors", coming over after school, til their parents get home. and yes it is a GREAT help with and for clay, but lordly! those girls wear me out!!

i am going to be getting paid. i told the mom NO, since it was actually doing me a favor as well, but she insisted. so she is going to give me $30 every other week. i do feel bad taking it, but those girls sure can put away some food! the mother said she is going to get some snacks for them too. they are cute though, and they play wonderfully with clay. it doesn't wear him out like i thought it would though, so i am still not getting his butt to sleep til after 10pm!!

he is napping right now ~SHOCK~!!!! we went to the doctors today for his 3 year check. he is little! he is like 30 pounds, and like 36" tall. he is at about 50% for his weight and just under 25% for height. my little munchkin! all seems well though. EXCEPT i had to get that damned lead test i have been putting off, and also an anemia test, since he doesn't eat much meat. so i INSISTED that i was only getting it done if they would poke his finger, cause i am not putting him or myself through the whole needle in the arm thing we had to do before.

well i think the needle in the arm may have been better!!!!! the poke on the finger wasn't bad, i didn't know she was going to have to squeeze about a pint of blood out of his finger!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! then by the second tube she had to feel, his blood clotted!!!!!!!!!! so she had to RE-POKE his finger!!!!!!! that time he did cry for a second, thankfully i already had the m&m's out for that!!! so all in all it wasnt' bad, and now he is napping. the girls will be here in about a half hour, so he can take a quick nap.

on to one of my favorite topics..........TV!!!!!

survivor started!! woo-hoo!!! i am sooooooooooooooooo glad that stephanie is on AGAIN!!!! i just loved her!!!!!!!!!!! i hope she goes all the way this time!

i just finally finished watching hell's kitchen. although who i wanted to win didn't make it to the finals, at least the guy i wanted to win there did.

the cut, i am STILL catching up.......we are also a couple of episodes behind on that you think you can dance thing. is that one guy not INCREDIBLY HOT! the one with the foreign name. LORD IS HE JUST HOT!!!!!!!!!!!!!! and that little spanish bulfighter dance he just did!!! WOW!

big brother is coming to an end next week. i PRAY that janell wins! since kaysar is gone she is my choice. i love her! she is too funny! and very smart about the game too!

well i will leave you with this for now, hopefully i can start writing again soon....

~8-25-05~ Good morning!

2005-08-25T09:29:00.000-04:00

it is 9:30AM, the kids are HERE bright and early already! :)

~8-24-05~ lordy....

2005-08-24T22:38:00.000-04:00

i'm beat! i just cleaned my house ALL DAY!!!!!!!!!!!!

someone was supposed to show the house tonight, which i don't even think they came damn it!!! but all that is the end of my story. i have been busy!

well not really busy, busy. the girls 2 door over, not "the neighbors", have been coming over as soon as they get up and don't really leave until supper, then they are back til well after 9. don't get me wrong, i LOVE it for clay's sake!!!! one is 8, one is 10, and their niece is 1. they are really cute, and very well behaved. they love clay and clay just LOVES them!! especially the 10 year old. now they boy doesn't say much, but whenever she leaves his sight, he is all "where shay-shay go?" her name is shailan. and her siblings call her shay-shay. that is so cute that clay picked that up.

i told them yesterday, they were going to have to come and entertain clay so i could clean my house today, for the showing. sure enough in their jammies they were here. just in the nick of time too, cause i was about to lose it with clay.

it sort of took longer with them here. first the 1 year olds mom was here, so i sort of felt obligated to talk to her, she is 20. so when she finally left it was lunch time, so i cooked everyone lunch. AGAIN you all with more than one little one, how in the world do you feed more than one at a time! i mean clay is damn near 3 (3 days!!) and yes i still have to feed him if i want him to eat more than 2 bites, and i had to feed the 1 year old. that was a pain!! lorday did those girls eat!!! they each had 2 bowls of mac and cheese, even the 1 year old! my kid.......yeah he ate about 2 bites! he is never going to grow!

so after that we got down to business! i cleaned the upstairs and when i was almost finished the girls finished picking up downstairs, all i had to do was vacuum, that was nice! and very considerate of them.

i felt odd cause i actually had to talk to their mother on the phone. i am an official parent now!!!! i know their mother thinks they are driving me nuts being here all the time but it really does NOT! i mean clay loves it! and frankly i like the company myself. a lot of times clay is playing with the 8 and 1 year olds and i am talking with the 10 year old. i hate, HATE that school starts next week! i am going to go nuts!! clay may have to start taking naps again!!

also.......look what i got!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

isn't he cute!!!!!!!!!!!!! actually he is stolen. yes, i stole my cat! and yes, i know i am terrible!!!!! but my child LOVES this cat!!!!!!!!!!! and the cat loves him apparently, he lets him do stuff like this:

and doesn't move, scratch, bite, nothing!!!!!!!!!!!! as a matter of fact i feel pretty bad for the cat!!!! and now my whole day is spent saying, "leave the cat alone clay" "put the cat down clay" "don't push on the cat clay" "let go of the cat's tail clay". i think i may just record it and play it on a loop.

i think it is my punishment for stealing it!! see it belonged to some neighbors down the way. and really, they didn't take care of it at all. they would leave it out all night, and not pay attention to it, and it was LOADED with fleas!!! yes my dreaded nemisis!!!!!!!!! check out last year at this time to know what i am talking about!

we knew it had fleas, i mean as soon as i talked bob into letting us keep him he was right in the sink for a flea bath. i PRAY we don't have a repeat of last year! i aleady had that stuff on spook, that supposedly lasts for 3 months, and as soon as OREO was dry he got it on him too.

anyways, i stole the cat. now i feel guilty! i didn't even want to see the people, i broke down and went over their today, noone seems upset! the little girl didn't even mention it! so i really think it was for the best. except that those little girls that play with clay KNOW, so i am afraid that, they in their youth, will slip up and say something! we he was just neutered and declawed, so if they want him back they will have to fork over some money for him now. yes, i am going to hell!!!!

but this cat is amazing! i mean he puts up with clay. he and spook are great together, and he is a LAP CAT! i finally got me a lap cat again. and he sleeps with us! so now of course i am an ITCHING bitch! he is just sooooooooooo cute, you should see how he eats........

he puts both his paws up on the bowl! how cute!! and boy did that cat eat the first night we had him!!!! poor thing was starving!!

he just came home today from the vet. he is in much better spirits than i thought he would be. he is just a great cat!

so what else is going on here??????? well i went off my birth control. so we should be trying for baby #2 very soon. i really want to lose some weight first, so after our vacation we are going to go on a diet or 2 that i have here. so maybe next month, for sure by october, if all goes well i'll be good and pregnant AGAIN!!! gasp! how scary!! but sort of exciting too.

our trip is coming up very quickly! so is clay's birthday. i still can't believe he is going to be 3! it is so amazing!

did i tell you all he knows how to get on the internet?!

he knows to click the explorer icon, then go up to favorites, then go to his folder, then click on elmo or noggin!! he even knows how to click on the arrows to scroll up and down! and i never even really showed him!!! he got it from watching me! that was a real trip!

anyways, i don't think the people who were supposed to come look at the house tonight did. pisses me off! not that we were real into it or anything at this moment. we are sort of like, whatever. i am not really looking forward to being poor, but i really do want a nice house, where i want it, OUT of the city! but again, i am going to miss the girls!!! my mother was nice enough to point out that if i get a house in east ja=pee=pee (sp???) i'm sure not going to have any neighbor kids who can pop over all the time. so as much as I want to be out in the country, nice and secluded, i guess i have to take in consideration my child(ren). so that is another thing we have to consider! and not knowing what is going on with bob's job scares me right now. i don't want to move into a new, doubled, house payment, then all of a sudden bob is on strike for god knows how long! that won't work with NO income coming in!!!! oh well, like i always say.......if it is meant to be, it will be.

well i will leave you all with a picture of my new hair cut, i wish i had an old one to compare it too. i'll look. see ya!!

OLD me (easter 05):

NEW me (gotta love SELF-taken photos!!):

well i will leave you with this cute picture, even though we both look silly!

i lied! i'll leave you with one where we both look cute :)

~8-13-05~ I'm MELTING!!!!!

2005-08-13T15:48:00.000-04:00

SERIOUSLY!!!!!!!!

it is flippin HOT!!!!!!!

it is 88 degrees, but with the heat index it is 94 degrees!

i was smart enough to finally figure out, or at least try to find out, that my wireless internet works out on my front porch. so here i am! UNFORTUNATELY the only spot it works i am NOW directly in the SUN, so i am sure it is more than 94 degrees!!!!

i tried to move about 3 iches forward to be out of the sun, but no, no connection!

and it has been this hot all freakin week!

so now here i sit, worried that every vagabond, or what not who walks down my street is going to run up and jack me for my laptop! paranoid much?!?! but you never know people these days! but i am sticking it out, cause sitting out here is driving me insane! but my child wants to be out here, so i am obliging him. that is just one of the things a parent will do for their children! :)

well i am all hunched over now trying to type and it is not comfortable. so i will let you all go for now.

have a good weekend!

~8-8-05~ Classes?

2005-08-08T19:35:00.000-04:00

do they have classes on HOW TO TELL PEOPLE NO?????????

i really need such an education!

so "the neighbors" (previous post)were back....surprise, surprise!

well, i was partly out there hoping they would come and play with clay, but i REALLY need to set down some "rules" REAL quick!!!!

so again they ask for juice first thing....ok no problem, i bought some of those cheap little hug things, YES, just for them coming over! i sure am not going through my damn juicy juice boxes everytime they are here! so fine, i go in the house to get them, next thing i know that 10 year old is REIGHT behind me! she just walked in my house! and NO that wasn't the only time it happened! so that was driving me bananas!

then she started messing with my keyless entry, she wanted to do it.....so what do i do...........LET HER!! now this 10 and the 8 year old too, knows my fucking code to get in my damn house!!!!!! WHAT THE FUCK AM I THINKING????? so now i have to change that!!

so i am now praying that my food HURRIES up and gets here! it does, then the girl AGAIN asks, "can we eat wit you?" i felt horrible, but i had to say the truth, sorry, but we don't have enough tonight. but REALLY i didn't have enough for 7 extra people!!

so then i said we had to go in and eat. the one girl wanted us to eat outside, but i said we couldn't****did i tell you all we started to eat at the ACTUAL table? YES!!**** then she asked if they could stay outside in the yard while we ate. again i said, the truth, clay wouldn't eat if you guys were out there playing. so they FINALLY let, much to my child's dissatisfaction. i said they could come back later, but my mom is here now, and i am not taking any chances of going out and them seeing us. hopefully they won't come up to the door and knock!!

THE THINGS I DO FOR MY CHILD'S HAPPINESS!!!! sigh.....he loves the kids though, and i feel bad for them, so i have to give in i guess. i really think i need some medication though!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

i AM going to make some rules though. they are:

*1 juice per day
*all trash MUST go in the trash can
*NO walking in the house
*as a matter of fact NO house at all unless we come in, or PLAYROOM only
*and of course they HAVE to listen! they already broke my damn bouncy and i told them not to jump on it, but they were....in all fairness though, it may have been my kid that turned it on and got in it first, i wasn't there, so i don't know. i think i will have bob get it out of the yard, until he fixes it.

well my mom just got here a bit ago, and it is already almost 8 so i will go spend some time with her.

take care!!

~8-8-05~ Long post......

2005-08-08T14:50:00.000-04:00

what have we got ourselves into??????????

i thought i posted on this topic before, but i couldn't find them to link back to, so i guess i am going to have to start at the begining.........LONG!

so i guess back at the end of june beginning of july bob and i were at walmart. i don't exactly know where bob was, but i was doing my shopping and this guy comes up to me. he said he "was having a problem he was trying to get a box of "peppers" but they would let him use the foodstamp card for them, mumble, mumble, mumble, could i help him?"

i really didn't know what the hell he was talking about, i couldn't understand why he couldn't buy "peppers" with the food stamp card. so i finally asked how much the "peppers" were. so he takes me to his cart and shows me this box of PAMPERS!!!!

so then it finally clicked what the hell the guy was saying/asking. he wanted to pay for my groceries with his food stamp card and me give him the cash! so i was like, dude, look at my cart i have like $200 in here, i don't have $200 in cash!!!! i told him i'd find my husband and look for me later.

so, yes i know it is against the law and all, but his kid needed diapers!!!!! so i found bob and we dug $30 dollars of groceries out so we could give him the money to buy diapers. so bob got to go do all of that....

next thing i know bob comes back and tells me that these are the people who are renting his friend's mom's house 2 doors down from us, who just moved in!!!!!! we have seen them a few times, all 800 of them, bob recognized one of them that is how he made the connection. they thanked him and all of that. so we felt good, we did our good deed for the day. (this all took WWWAAAAAAAAAAYYYYYYYYYY longer, than a few paragraphs!!!)

then as we were checking out we saw him going up to OHER people with the same story!!! whatever, bob did see the mom taking the diapers out to the car, so we know that the baby actually did get diapers.

so move forward a bit, now i see the guy walking down the street all the time, he says hi, i can't understand what else he is saying, so i just wave and smile.

a few days later, the one girl comes to use the phone. about 3 times that day!! we were having an open house that day and when our realtor shows up an ambulance comes tearing down the road and it stops at their house! i was trying to be nosy, but i had some things to finish up in the house, but when i left, it wasn't there anymore. later that night after 10pm and my doorbell rings. i answer the door and it is that girl AGAIN and she asked if she could use the phone to call 911 one little girl there burned her leg on a cord or something. i don't know??

the next day we are in the back yard with clay's new bouncy thing and i see some lady come walking up with bob. i was hoping it was someone about the house, no here it is the MOTHER wanting to use the phone to call steve, bob's friend, that is renting the house. so i go in to be nosey. here i guess a few days earlier their electric was screwed up and she lost all of the food in her freezer. she had to pay the electrician $250 and steve's mom was supposed to be sending her a check for that, but now she was out of food and out of money. she wanted to see if steve could give her some of her deposit to go buy some more food.

so me being the kind heart i am went to the basement and dug out a bunch of food and gave it to her to hold them over til they got some money. awwww....i'm so nice!

well an hour later....DOORBELL!!! it is the girl again.........wanting to know if they could borrow $20!!!!!!!!!! i just gave them a ton of food!!!!!!!!!! WTF????

that was a sunday. their phone wasn't getting on til tuesday, so they were here a few more times.

here is a little background on the people. the mom is 28. all the kids except 2 are foster kids. the girl i am always talking about is 21, she is a foster kid too. and i guess is a little slow. i really can't tell, she just seems a little young for her age i guess. so the mom said there are 5 kids, i don't know if she was counting the 21 year old or not.

then wednesday comes and i breathe a sigh of relief! thinking i am going to be left alone now.....no. the girl, ashley, comes over. she is always trying to talk to clay, it is cute, but he is always shy and hides behind me. so she comes and says she doesn't have an excuse to come over anymore since thier phone is on. she chats a bit to clay then goes about her business.

the next day the guy stops....kid in car, and comes up and asks for a cigarette. he chats for a bit...he is just weird!

so ashley is always walking. clay has finally warmed up to her. she would always come over and tickle him, he loved it.

i'm starting to feel bad for ashley. i think the reason these people "got" her was to be a babysitter for the rest of them!

i knew ashley had a doctor's appointment on thursday. i asked her how her appointment went and she told me her mom, donna, went to cleveland for her birthday, so she didnt' get to go to her appointment!! i thought she was going to be back in a day or so. the other day, saturday, she came with some of the kids, clay was loving it!!!!! they were in the back and the kids were loving all the toys! the littler girl asks if they can come back later, ashley said to ask me......me the person who doesn't know how to tell people no.......sure.....i asked if her mom made it back and she said no, she wasn't going to be home til tuesday or wednesday!!!!

****OOOHHH backtrack.....the other day the dude was walking, i was like GREAT! i saw him coming up my walk. he said he was going to do some wash. he had a big trashbag. i was like, oh. then he said he was going out of town, i said oh. then he was like "i might not come back man"........."can i get a hug, i might not be back" and he proceeds to come up and give me a hug!!!!!!! i'm sitting there like HUH??? so later ashley comes over and we ask about him and if he left. she says she doesn't know what he is doing. here it isn't even donna's husband, it is just a boyfriend! bob asked ashley if she liked him and she said no. bob asked why? i was like, please don't tell me something i didn't want to hear..she just said he could be mean sometimes.**** back to the present.

well i felt bad, cause clay NEVER gets to play with other kids, so i told bob he should go see if the kids are going to come over for a bit. next thing i know he comes back with 6 KIDS! and NO ASHLEY!!!!!!

don't ask me names, cause i still don't have that down, but this is what i had:

18 month old
2 year old
4 year old
7 year old
8 year old
10 year old.........and clay!!!!!

next thing i know i know ALL of clay's toys are outside and kids are running around everywhere........

then the 10 year old comes up and asks, "can we eat with you?" i said sorry honey we already ate. so then i felt bad, so i went and got some hotdogs out and made hotdogs on the grill. while i was cooking the 4 year old came up and asked, "do you have any food?" my eyes welled up and i about cried, and told her i was making it.

god i feel terrible for these kids!!!!!!!!!! i don't really think they are being abused, but i just feel bad that i don't think they are getting everything they should. i seriously thought about calling child services, but then i thought they might have it better there than with an other family.

then i feel bad for ashley. that poor girl doesn't EVER get a break! so i wasn't too upset that she wasn't here with the kids. i figure it would give her a break. and the kids weren't bad at all. they were nice, they really look out for the younger ones too.

this all started at about 7:30pm........they did not leave til after 9pm! and after bob emptied our fridge! they left with a ton of juice and yogurt!

oh AND MY DAMN BOUNCY THING IS BROKEN!!!!!

but the good thing is is that clay had a BLAST!!!!!! he loved it!!!!!!!!!

then today ashley comes over with the 10 year old and asked if i could watch her for a bit. i won't get into why, since i still don't get it. so it was actually nice, she occupied clay, and i CLEANED MY WHOLE HOUSE!

CLAY BLEW A GASKET WHEN HE FOUND OUT THAT SHE LEFT! he ran out of the house screaming and crying running towards their house!!! i felt so bad!!

lord! i really regret not having another baby sooner! so it is definitely going to be this year that we get pregnant again!

well i am trying to talk on the phone and type so it is getting pretty hard, so i am out of here, it has already taken an hour to write this.

type more at ya later!

~8-5-05~ TIRED!!!!!!!

2005-08-05T13:23:00.000-04:00

i have been up since 5:30am!!!!!!!!!! why??????????????

i have no clue why i woke up in the first damn place. then every time i would open my eyes i would see flashes of light, so then i had to keep opening them and closing them to see if i was seeing things. finally, i heard DISTANT rumbling, so i was like FUCK. then i hear bob go, what? i said it is about to storm. the damn blower to that $150 jumpy thing i bought for my child who has played on it for about 10 minutes total is out there and it probably shouldn't be getting wet.

bob said he would go get it and he did. by this time you could start to hear that it was actually thunder. so i said FUCK again. bob said, what? i guarantee clay is going to get woke up by the thunder. (which by the way my child did not end up falling asleep last night til almost 11pm!!!!! and that is after about 20 trips for me UP the steps to put him back in bed!!)

sure enough 6am rolls in, with MUCH thunder, and he comes storming in...MOM!!!!

so i put him in bed with us. he is laying there but not being too still. i knew it was about time for bob to get up, and i knew if that happened he, clay, would definitely be UP for the day. so i took him back in his room and laid with him. it kept on storming, and he finally had enough of laying in bed at about 7:30am, so we were up....or should i say he was. i tried to get back on the couch for some shut eye, but read the previous posts, you know how that goes!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i swear to god it did not stop storming til about 10am!!!!! that was one damn long ass storm!!!

we are supposed to go to the rib thing tonight. it is SUPPOSED to clear up, even though now, at 1:30pm, it still looks lousy out. but at leat it is only 71 degrees!!!!!!! LOVE IT!!!! it is still a bit humid, but gotta love temperatures when they are well below 80!!!!! so i guess we will see when bob gets home if we go or not. i'd really rather not cause i am TIRED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! but if i try and come between the man and his ribs, it will just be grief, so i might as well just suck it up and go!

by the way my child has been asleep since 1pm! that is the ONLY good thing about being up since 6am! but i still can't get sleep!!!!!!!!!

well now i am off to balance my checkbook to see if we even have any money to go get ribs!

see ya'll later!

~8-4-05~ Woo-hoo!

2005-08-04T14:26:00.000-04:00

a few woo-hoo's today....

my son is sleeping! and with only mild fighting and resisting.

my hair looks sooooooooooooooooo cute! got it CHOPPED and highlighted again. i just finally had them grown out, but gave in to my inner temptation and got them. and oh my god does it look great!!!!!!!!!! gotta love my nail girl! who i guess is now my hair girl too! :) i'll try and get a pic later. wish i had a before one to compare it too. but i got at least 4 inches cut off.

guess that is it for my woo-hoo's! i'm not complaining, i'll take em when i can get em!!

i'm out of flippin koolaid!! well not out, out, but out of black cherry! i was on a pink lemonade kick, but then it started giving me the acid reflux again....and of course i am craving some damn koolaid!!!! i usually don't drink pop til dinner time, and water........who drinks JUST water?!?!?! ha! not me unless i am dying of thirst! you know me and the healthy stuff....we just don't click!

my catfish tank is doing much better. i still smell a little funk if i keep the french doors open. so i feel bad cause without the door open it gets NO central air in there and is HOT!!!!!!!!! but i really cannot handle that smell. and i have candles lit, and it doesn't cover, it just combines and that is even worse than just nasty fish tank smell!!!!!! pina colada nasty fish tank.....uuummmmmmmmmm! NOT!!

so anyways, i fixed the other filter that came with the tank, so i think that helped out alot. i am still going to have bob do another water change tonight, and hopefully that will do it. so far no fish deaths to report either, which is very odd! well now that i said that............

i really need something to drink........i'll be back.............ok, i had to cavea nd drink a pop, but it is orange pop, so it is sort of like koolaid!

we were going to head to the rib burnoff tonight, mom said she would watch clay for a few hours, but it is damn hot out there!!!! it is already over 90 degrees! i'm not about to walk around in the heat with the sun beating down on me! tomorrow it is supposed to be like 10 degrees cooler, thank you god!!! so we will probably just go tomorrow and maybe saturday. gotta go stuff our faces and spend much $$$$.

well i am kind of just rambling and making myself (and i am sure you too!) bored, so i will go for now.

have a great day everyone! see ya!

~8-2-05~ Torture!

2005-08-02T14:32:00.000-04:00

well i have my child shackled and bound in his room.....kidding, but i do have his gate up. i really hate that, but it is the ONLY way to get him to take a nap lately!

i give him several chances and several more warnings, but then the gate goes up, the tantrum, screaming and crying starts, then in about 10 minutes he is out! it really does work every time, but i just feel awful doing it!!

just went in to check on him. LOOK AT HIM! i don't even know how you would get in this position, then fall asleep!! haha!!!!

i was going to move him to his bed, but my luck he would wake up and not go back to sleep. i'm only going to let him sleep about an hour, heck he may get himself up before then sleeping like that! :)

while i am at pictures...here are 2 of my poor mousies.....RIP little guys!! they were alive here! as a matter of fact i was all excited that they were out of the nest and moving around! i guess they were like "where the fuck is my mom, we haven't had anything to eat in days....." (she died, so the babies didn't get fed and they died.)

here is my new aquarium set up:

here is where the mice used to be, but now home to my catfish....

yes i am aware it looks pretty nasty. i don't know what the deal is with it, it really, REALLY stinks too!!! my whole house reaked today, thank goodness i have french doors to close! i'll probably clean it out AGAIN here when i am done typing.

last aquarium. not many fish in here. i did add a few more last night, after the pic. but i just love the background in this tank!!

ok.....i have to get off of here and get something done....

just thought i would let you know, i am eating these pretzels i got from walmart, their brand...sam's choice..........OH MY GOD!!!! THEY ARE DELICIOUS!!! they have peanut butter inside of them! i don't know if other brands make these, but i am in love!!! and it is sooooooooo hard to stop eating them! clay bites them open and eats the peanut butter, that is it. he likes pretzles, so i don't know what the deal is there!!

have a great day!!!!

~8-1-05~ Well........

2005-08-01T14:58:00.000-04:00

as i expected, all my mice are DEAD!!!! so from now on, instead of being a caring, compassionate, loving person, i am going to be a cold hearted bitch!!!!!

all of my caring and nurturing gets me what????????? broken hearted and sad!!!!!! so i guess now i will just lay out some poison traps, or if i do catch one, i'll just throw it out in the pouring rain, no more trying to be nice and "save" it.

so, with the mice gone we can now set up the aquarium for its intended purpose....for my enormous cat fish. so we did that last night, lord what a pain. it wouldn't have been bad, but we had to rearrange some of the other aquariums to get that big one set up. we did not get finished til almost midnight. thankfully my mom came over once we got started, so that really helped out (with clay), or we probably never would have finished.

so now that my catfish finally has room to move around, i'm sure he will die now too!

on to my next topic.........HAVE YOU SEEN THE PRICE OF CIGARETTES?!?!?! HOLY FUCK!!!

OVER $40 FOR A CARTON OF MARLBORO'S AND OVER $38 FOR A CARTON OF BASIC'S!!!!!

all i can say is thank god for the internet!!!! i'm oblivious to the prices of cigarettes ever since i started buying them online. i get carton's of basic's for $23!!!! i am saving $15 per carton!!!!

well, now that i said that something will happen there to dick me.........i just know it!

just like in a previous post i wrote, "we are getting at least 1-2 people a week to come look at our house." know how many we have got since i wrote that.....ZERO!!!!

i think it is mostly our realtor. if you are reading this jerry, sorry....i LOVE ya to death! you are a great guy and all but i think more could be done. like i think my house should be advertised in that homes magazine EVERY issue! i was told it was every other issue, well it has been 2 issues now and my house is NOT in there either times!!!!

i think he has to pay for this himself, that is why. i really think we need to go with someone else. there are realtors in there who advertise EVERY issue, and they even have their own personal website to advertise houses, along with the realtor site. i think the reason we were getting so many hits there for that span is because our house WAS in there that issue. i don't know. i am just getting disheartened (??) again. this process is taking waaaaaaaaaay too long! but like i said 5 bazillion times now, if it is meant to be then it will be. so i can't stress about it.

after fighting with my kid i think he is finally asleep, now that it is time for him to GET UP!!!!!!!!! sigh.....i just can't win!!!!!

speaking of the kid, he is going to be 3 in 26 days!!!!!!!!!! i just cannot believe it! sob, sob!! where does the time go?? he was kissing the fish in the pet store today. he go up to the glass and then kiss. it was so damn cute! he even kissed them when they were in the bag. he can be so cute and adorable 99% of the time. it is that 1% when i think he is going to totally drive me insane!!!!

one last thing. what the fuck big brother?!?!?!? why is it when things finally start to go good and the way i want, BAM, it gets totally screwed up?!?! oh that is right, my luck (see above!!!!!) so i am pissed at that show currently. if maggie puts up janella i'm gonna be pissed!! if kaysar gets booted i am going to be pissed!!!!! i hate maggie and all her little maggots!!!! if kaysar does go i pray to god that janella get HOH, the others will shit and it will be soooooooo worth it! even my tv shows drive me insane! AGAIN....i can't get a break!!!!!!!!

now that he is alseep i should go do something productive! i hope you all have a nice remainder of the day! take care!!

~7-30-05~ I Am...........

2005-07-30T22:16:00.000-04:00

This is kind of cute, got it from Kitchen Logic:

Directions: Type "(Your Name) Is" (use quotes, into a google search then pick out 10 quotes then share them with us.

Sartain added that "Jennifer is not a criminal." (I agree with this one)

Jennifer is Great: (definitely agree!! haha!!)

Little Jennifer is a genius (again, agree :) )

Jennifer, is she your friend? (i hope!)

Jennifer is pregnant with their first child (true, about 3 years ago)

it turns out that Jennifer is the only Jewish kid in the
class (sorry, no jewish here!)

You got your stories wrong, Jennifer is the selfish one! (i guess i will admit i am at times...sshhhh!)

Jennifer is married to a wonderful man........ (true, most of the time :) )

Jennifer is helping me remove the filters from my eyes (i try, but noone listens to me!)

Jennifer is unemployed and desperately looking for a job. (OH HOW WRONG!! definitely NOT this jennifer!!!! :) )

~7-29-05~ Mommy claws!!!

2005-07-29T23:43:00.000-04:00

my mommy claws came out for the first time tonight, and i almost smacked the shit out of a little girl. yes, i know that is wrong, but here is my story.......

so we are at the balloon thing tonight. everyone is having a good time, enjoying the balloons. i hear this little girl beside us saying something over and over, but i am not paying attention to her. finally i think i hear her, so i ask bob what that girl said, and he said exactly what i thought, "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND STOP!!" ALL SHITTY!!!!! SHE WAS TALKING TO MY SON!!!!!! CAUSE, HEAVEN FORBID, HE WAS TOUCHING HER BLANKET!!!!!!!!!!!!!

i sort of tried to ignore it and told clay to stop, but it was just fucking ridiculous! so then she was all "stop touching it, stop touching it, stop touching it....." i about lost my shit, but i was calm and i said, "he is 2 sweety, he doesn't understand!"

then about 5 seconds later the little snot said, "he understands!!" i damn near lost my shit again! so i told clay that "girls are bitches and he will have to get used to that!!!" YES, I KNOW THAT REALLY WAS NOT APPROPRIATE ON MY PART! but it was alot more appropriate than smaking the shit out of her!!!!!!

so then after that, i haven't told anyone this, not even bob and he was right there with me.........but then i about broke down and cried!

HOW DARE SOMEONE BE MEAN TO MY CHILD!!!!!!!!! then of course i had to flash forward years, thinking about other kids being mean to him. and it just broke my heart! i don't want anyone to ever be mean to him or hurt his feelings. and YES, i know it is a part of life! it happens to everyone! BUT HE IS MY SON!!!!!!

so i sort of just had to redirect my attention back to the balloons! bob made a remark too about the girl, but i reminded us BOTH, that she too was a little kid and "you know how little kids are", but really she had to be at least 8! so come on....and what the fuck were her parents doing?!?!?! you think they would have at least heard or SEEN me commenting to her! don't you think they would have wondered what was going on?!?!?

so anyways......bob and i had our first experience with parental "protection". lord help me! i don't know if i am ready for all of this stuff!!!!!

just thought i would share.....i'll add some pictures now..........

night! have a good weekend!!!

BALLOONS!!!!

2005-07-29T23:40:00.000-04:00

HOW CAN YOU BE MEAN TO THIS??????

~7-28-05~ My excitement for the week...

2005-07-28T21:41:00.000-04:00

i caught a mouse on monday! can you stand the excitement!!!!!!

well, i went out in the garage to check on my flowers, yes we bought MORE flowers! i heard a scratching noise. i was like what the hell. i could tell it was coming for the bag of bird seed. i was like GREAT, what the hell is in there?!

i got a flashlight and peered into the bag....it was a mouse!!!! so i started thinking, how in the hell am i going to catch this one....all my other attempts have been fruitless. i just took the cup that was in there, scooped him up along with a bunch of bird seed, covered the top, and put the whole thing in this aquarium we have in the garage! i caught a mouse! i was successful!!

as cute as i think they are, i was going to put him outside, but it was pouring rain and i would have felt awful. so i figured i'd put him in the aquarium for the time being.

well, tuesday it poured buckets! i mean tornado siren and everything.....jump ahead to today. i couldn't find him! it is sort of hard cause there is a bunch of coral and shells in there, along with the newspaper i put in there for him. so i thought maybe he got out.

bob said he seen him this morning, so i figured he was in there. i did the same thing the night before and couldn't' find him, then 5 minutes later he was sitting on one of the rocks.

so i come in tonight and go to the bathroom. bob yells up, i probably shouldn't tell you this............but your mouse had babies! i flew down the steps and out to the garage. SHE was under a piece of coral, you had to look up through the bottom of the aquarium, there with here were 3 pink blobs. the actually looked sort of gross. like it sure wasn't time for them to come out. i mean they are bright pink! no hair, nothing! their eyes aren't even open, just 2 little dark specks. he then told me to NOT freak out, they were not dead, he had seen them all move.

I HAVE BABIES!!!!!!!!!!! baby mice!!!! that is a first to me! i'm sorry for my excitement!!!!!!!

then bob jokingly said, damn it, i knew i should have got that thing out of here yesterday!!!!! why does my wife have to be so nice!!!

on the downside, i am going to have to get rid of them! NOT NOW! but when they are old enough. i just feel bad putting them out into the wild. i know, they ARE wild! but they are so damn cute!!!!!!!!!!!

it is so funny cause just before all of this i was thinking about going and getting a hamster cage or something for it, but then my brain kicked in and said that is all you need, something else to take care of!!!! then this! guess i was meant to have them!!

i don't care what anyone says, mice are just so damn adorable!!!! not so much the babies, but the adults! so i guess tonight will be spent looking up how to take care of baby mice........my luck they will all die, i should really know better!!!!

so fingers crossed, that they all turn out to be healthy adult mice! at least for my sake! not for who's house they will venture into next.

ok...i think my son is finally asleep now. i can finally go watch big brother, so bob can go to bed.

night all!!!

~7-25-05~ Hello there

2005-07-25T13:20:00.000-04:00

well my little one is sleeping. since noon actually. yes, that is great, but the reason his butt is sleeping is because he was up at 6:30am AGAIN!!!!!

i too should be sleeping, but i had to go through and figure out some bills.

i'm frustrated about this whole house selling thing, bob took a vacation day sept 2nd, so i decided we were going on vacation!!!! where you ask???? for those of you who know me, where is the ONLY place i go.............niagara falls!!!!

not just for me though, for clay. they have a marineland (us equivallent to sea world). since they took our sea world away, the closest one happens to be up in my favorite place on earth! works out well!!

so all weekend i have been online checking out stuff up there. i am pretty particular about what i wanted. i wanted a room actually overlooking the falls. as many times as i have been there in my life we have NEVER stayed at one of those places.....why????? cause it is butt expensive!!!! but oh well, our first family vacation, i want it to be nice. especially since we will have to be in somewhat early everynight to put clay to bed, at least we can look out the window and look at the falls. i don't know about you all, but i could just look at them forever, they are soooooooooo beautiful! especially at night when they are lit up. we haven't been there since march of 2001!!!! bob and i used to go every year for the past hell like 8 years!!!

i wanted a room with a balcony and for some reason none of them have them!!! that really sucks! i thought at least bob and i could go out on the balcony and smoke!

i found this package at the embassy. i think this is the one we are going with.

we were originally going to leave on friday the 2st and come back on the 4th. but now bob is going to see if he can get of the 1st too, that way we will actually have 2 FULL days to do stuff. i know marineland will take a whole day.

so we are pretty psyched about it! what i am most excited about, aside from clay seeing everything, is that we are finally going to be able to use our new camera and video camera!!!!!!! granted we got them for clay, the camera for when he was born, and the video, for his first birthday, but now we can actually take vacation pictures!!!! if you all only knew me and pitcures!!!! like i said before i have been to niagara falls a bazillion times and everytime i take a millon rolls of film, no more film!! woo-hoo!!!!!!! maybe, just MAYBE i will FINALLY get some good pictures of the falls at night. i am going to take my tripod this time!

oh well enough about that.

i'll leave you with a new house i found that i LOVE!!!! i want it!! it is as close to my dream house that i have found. the only things it is lacking, is that i don't really care for ranches, and i would like it closer to my mom (it is about 28 minutes from her and bob's work), or at least more south AND of course it is like $20,000 more than the one we have that bid on (no word on that yet either), but i think our contract on it expires the 16th. oh well, again, what is meant to be will be...........gotta think like that or i will drive myself batty, or more batty i should say!!

take care every one!!

~7-21-05~ My day so far......

2005-07-21T13:34:00.000-04:00

i am going I-N-S-A-N-FUCKING-E!!!!!

it all started about 4:30 AM, when my child wakes up and comes in my room. i get up, barely, and take him back in his room. 4:50 he is back!!!!!! i take him back. then next thing i know my cat is fucking with something in my room, making a ton of noise!!!! i may or may not have fallen asleep, but next thing i know bob's alarm is going off at fucking 6am! of course he turns it off and goes back to sleep, meanwhile my cat is still at it and i have to get up to move the damn box he is playing with! next thing i know bob is getting up, about 7. i sigh, and say to myself finally i can get back to sleep. then MOM!!! nope, no sleep!!!!!!!!!! so i get up cause bob is getting ready to leave, just as i plop on the couch he tells me clay has a poopy butt. yeah so?!?! he changes it, then says "your welcome!". i'm welcome....i'm supposed to thank him for changing his sons dirty diaper?!?!?! whatever.

so again i am trying to chill on the couch, but of course that means in clay speak to get into everything possible that i am not supposed to do. which i should know better. the first time i got up and checked on him he had strawberry syurp all over the kitchen counter as he was telling me "chocolate milk". so that got cleaned up and the milk was made. back to the couch i went. i check on him again in about 5 minutes, now there is WD-40 all over the window and he is yelling "paper towel"!

why me?!!? now i am listening to him yelling mommy! i have been trying to put him down for a nap since 12:45, it is now 1:45!!!! i even laid with him for 1/2 hour, which worked yesterday!!!!!!!!!!!!

yes, i know, some kids this age don't need naps anymore, but MOMMY DOES!!!!! no, but if he doesn't nap around 5pm, he starts dozing and i have to do everything in my power to keep him up. i mean picking him up, bothering him, while he is screaming and crying "night-night"!!!!!!! that just breaks my heart! but i CANNOT let him go to sleep at 5pm. hell he goes to sleep at 10pm now and is still up at 6am, if not earlier. god only knows when he would be up if i put him to sleep at 5!!!!!!!

when the hell is this "phase" going to end?! i am about to my wits end. how am i supposed to deal with this when i am pregnant and REALLY tired and worn out?!?!? and bob wonders why i am stalling on getting knocked up again?!?!? hhhmmmmmm......i wonder!!!!

did i mention that my child doesn't eat either?! so where the hell is all this energy coming from that he has?!?!?! i don't think the child eats a whole meal combined the whole day! and now all he basically eats is those lunchable things. that is all he wants. occasionally he will eat a nugget or 2. and maybe a bite or 2 of other things, but that is it. all he wants is junk. which is weird cause he really doesn't get stuff like that. somedays i am ready to sit him down with a bag of chips just so he will EAT SOMETHING!!!!!

well one more cigarette and then i have to go get him, cause him there yelling is driving me just as insane!!!!! plus i am sure if i give him anymore time he will surely figure out how to climb over the gate. then the threats of that will be void. even though they don't work in the first place!

have a wonderful day everyone!!

~7-17-05~ I just can't take it...

2005-07-17T17:43:00.000-04:00

i am just FILLED with good news this weekend! (sarcasim)

first i found out that the house we have a bid on is sold!!! i thought i was supposed to get 48 hour notice!!!! not like we could do anything anyways, but FUCK!!!

secondly NOONE came to our open house yesterday, or the impromtu one we had ourselves today!!!!!

and third, clay got his first bee sting today!!!!! wasn't as bad as i thought it would be. i knew it was coming for quite some time now, seeing how our backyard isn't grass, but mostly that clover those fuckers like so much.

he is fine. he just cried for a bit, but i think it was mostly cause i was messing with it to get the stinger out and to make sure i got it all. it's been almost 2 hours now, it is swollen or anything. you can barely even see it. i am still a bit stressed, but i think he is fine. THANK GOD he is not allergic!!!!!!!!!!

he and bob are off to get my chinese food now. i'll try and post soon with pictures of clay's new toy. were toys so expensive when i was little?? no, cause they didn't have cool shit for us like they do now days. well he only played on the damn think for like 2 minutes. i should have known. i swear, the more expensive, the less they get played with!! i am half tempted to take it back, but the child throws a fit when i deflate it. he doesn't want to play on it, but he wants it up. my child is just weird!!!!!!! i think he would play on it if other kids were on it, he keeps wanting bob and i to get on, but we are just too big. oh well, maybe he will grow into it. same thing i keep saying about that damn slide thing i got him.

take care!!

P.S. i'll miss ya trish! without you on here, guess we will have to actually call one another and stop and see each other! :)

~7-16-05~ Sweatin again!

2005-07-16T10:33:00.000-04:00

lord am i hot! not mad this time.

i'm bustin butt to get this house clean for the open house at 1. it really isn't bad, and when mom came and got clay i actuallly thought about going back and laying down for a bit. but no, i was good, i have been cleaning. i even packed some more stuff up.

it is amazing how nasty stuffed animals get from sitting for 3 years!!!! they were bad!!!!!!!! i mean pink pigs were no longer pink, some were black! how gross is that!!!!!!! and you know i can't part with my pigs, so i may try and throw them in the wash. spot cleaning just won't get it. if they survive, then i'll keep em, if not, then maybe i'll just stuff them in a box! i have memories there people, i can't throw them away!!!!! you know how i am!!!!

so on a good note, clay didn't get up this morning til after 7:30, don't know the exact time, bob's friend called here on accident at 7 fucking 30 and woke me up, clay was up not long after.

i don't know what the trick was?! he did nap yesterday, longer than i had planned. bob got him up when he got home after 4, he had been sleeping since a bit before 2! it did take sort of a time to get him to stay in bed, but he was asleep before 10. i don't know if the nap had something to do with it. i also put pants on him last night too. he always kicks his covers off, so i thought maybe he gets cold in the morning and it wakes him up. i just don't know, but i would like to repeat it today, but since my open house is 1-3 there is no way he will be getting a nap! damn it! i wish he would just sleep at my mom's. i feel bad for her cause she isn't feeling well, and now she gets to deal with him all day! he is a handful! but i know she doesn't mind too much. she hasn't seen him all week and i know she misses him. especially since bob is on straight days now she doesn't come over as much. she feels like she is intruding. i tell her that is not the case, but she still feels odd. when bob was on swing shift she would come over everyday that he was on afternoons. so we miss seeing her too. she does come over at least once a week, then usually gets clay on the weekend sometime, but since she was sick this week we didn't see her.

oh well, guess i am stalling. now that i am done with the upstairs i have to go do the down. that is the hardest, cause my kitchen just doesn't stay clean for anything!!!! fun, fun!!!!!!!!

hopefully THIS is the day, someon will come and fall in love with my house and want to make an offer!!!!!!! god i hope!!!!!!!!!!! fingers crossed and prayers said!!!

take care!!

~7-15-05~ So......

2005-07-15T14:53:00.000-04:00

sorry Patricia, for not posting more, i really do miss venting!!!! if i posted lately it would all be cuss words and yelling!!!!

my poor child is driving me insane, and HE is getting the brunt of it all. i fell awful lately. i actually said the words to bob the other day, i am going to murder your child! then of course i felt just awful after i said it, but my head was about to explode!!!!

how come almost all week that bob was on vacation, AND GETTING UP WITH CLAY IN THE MORNINGS, he was sleeping til AFTER 8!!!!! one day we had a showing at 9:30, and we basically had to wake him up at 9am!!!!!!!!

but now that mommy is back in "charge", why is it 6am?!?!?!?!?!? or the other day BEFORE 6am?!?!?!?!

of course the day he was up BEFORE 6am, was the day we were supposed to have a showing. so i tried to relax on the couch for a bit, but to my child that is the big green light to get into everything humanly possible that he is NOT supposed to get into!!!!!!! so NO relaxing. since my upstairs is now covered in nail polish, and various forms of makeup i FINALLY put everthing the hell up. and as i have learned the hard way on top of a very tall dresser, and on top of a console tv which sit high on a stand is STILL NOT the place cause he will just climb up on it or move a chair over to it to STILL CLIMB UP ON IT AND GET INTO IT!!!!!!!!!!!!

so i ask.....WHERE THE HELL AM I SUPPOSED TO PUT SHIT HE IS NOT TO GET INTO?!?!? A FUCKING SAFE WITH A LOCK?!?!?! which he would probably get into anyways. did i mention that he knows how to unlock the deadbolt and just about every door in the house?! yes! my child is WAY too smart for his own good.

anyways.........so i'm tying to pick up my house for the showing, on about 4 hours of sleep if that.....and what is he doing. he is practically behind me UNDOING everything i just did!!!! that is when my head was about to explode and i said the awful thing i said to bob when he called, and WHY THE HELL IS HE CALLING WHEN HE KNOWS I AM BUSTING MY ASS TRYING TO GET THE PLACE PRESENTABLE TO SHOW?!?!?! yes i was in a mood!!!!!!

so then after all of that, and the walk in the HOT ass sun, in UNBEARABLE humidity, THEY DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING SHOW UP!!!!!!!! WHAT THE FUCK?!?!?!?! so i was way pissed. i mean we did get free ice cream and lunch, since grandpa showed up and went with us on our walk, but that is not the point. i want my damn house sold!!!!! don't make me run around like a goof and yell at my son every 30 seconds like a HUGE goof and make it all for nothing!!!! yeah my house is (WAS) clean, but damn!!!

so i called my realtor so see what the hell the deal is, the people that were scheduled to come last friday at 6pm, but then switched it to saturday at 6pm NEVER SHOWED UP EITHER!!!!!!! luckily for them though we also had a showing earlier in the day, so i didn't do it just for them. and we were also going to a party that night, so we didn't leave JUST for them to come look at the house. BUT i havent' heard back for my realtor yet, so i don't know what the deal is. well we are having another open house tomorrow, i think i mentioned that in a previous post, so AGIN fingers crossed!!!!

another house just went up a few houses down from me HERE. i don't know if i showed you all this one, it too is down the road, but on mcgreggor, not the main road, but i still think mine is better, and looking at what they are asking for theirs i am SURE that the price of mine is not too high. i don't know what the deal is!!!!!

my child is actually napping right now, which isn't that much of a good thing. when he does nap it is about 850 million times harder to get him to stay put for the night! so we will see tonight! last night i kept his little butt up til about 10pm, hoping that would help, NOPE!!!! so it is back to 8, which i know sounds a bit early, MOM, but 8 means that he doesn't finally go to sleep til 9!

i know, i know, i just have to start taking my ass to bed early, but damn! i need MY unwinding time!!!!! which my unwinding time is taking much longer since i can't get downstairs to watch my shows til AFTER 9. YES, i unwind by watching my tv shows. and ya'll know i have a lot of them to watch, so it takes a while!!!! i have been doing better lately though. i am usually in bed by 12:30, and these days i am having NO trouble falling asleep once i am there, like i used to!!!!!

oh well, to end this on a cute note.....i started saying bedtime prayers with clay. it is just tooooooooooo damn cute! i do the whole now i lay me down to sleep thing. i say one word and he sometimes repeats it. the cute, well cutest part is that when i say "down" he says "up". yes he is doing it to be difficult, and he is a huge tease and does everything you tell him not to do or the opposite, so he has to say up cause i am telling him to say down (that is how my whole day goes!!!), but anyways it is cute! then we go, god bless daddy, grandma, gradpa, family, friends, everyone! amen. he likes that one the best and it is always AGAIN, and i wish you all could hear how he says again, it is sooooooo precious!!!! and seeing him trying to do the sign of the cross is just a hoot as well! what a cutie he is. even though half the time i am surprised he isn't struck down while praying since he is such a little devil! haha!!!!

well there ya go trish! at least it is a post!! haha!!

take care everyone, and in the most definite likely hood that i won't post again til the weekend or after, you all have a good and safe one!! take care!

~7-12-05~ Remember me???????

2005-07-12T12:32:00.000-04:00

well i haven't been around much lately for a couple of reasons.

last week bob was on vacation, so we were busy.

the main reason is because of clay's sleep issues. STILL!!!!

i sort of given up on naps, he seems to go to sleep better at night, but it still takes almost an hour to finally get him down and asleep!!!!

he is napping now though, yeah it is only noon, but his little but was up at about 6:30am. WHY, i have no idea, since he didn't get to bed til about 10pm!!

i don't know what the deal is. i think it is just a phase. i mean if the boy has my genes of course he doesn't want to go to bed at 8 or 9pm!! come on!!

then again those SAME genes should not be letting him wake up at 6am!!!!

so that has been my struggle the past few weeks. by the time i do get him down then i try to go spend some time with bob watching our shows, then when he goes to bed i try and watch my shows, and by that time it is after midnight, and time for me to get to sleep. no blogging time!

on the house matter. we have had quite a few showings, at least 1 or 2 per week, but no damn offers!!!!!!!!!! at this point i may just take whatever is offered, just to get this shit over with! we are having ANOTHER open house this saturday. so fingers still crossed!!!!! i think our contigency offer on that other place is only for 60 days. and i am sure that is quickly approaching. they even brought their list price down to what our bid is, so that sucks! i know they want out bad. they are moving to utah. so really, someone please buy my house!! i was looking forward to having clay's birthday party at the new place, but seeing how that is quickly approaching was well........doesn't look like that is going to work out.

my baby is going to be 3!!!!!!! i can't even believe that!!!!!! where does the time go?!

well i am seriously considering a nap myself, so i am off. of course i have a ton of shows to write about. hopefully soon i will have some down time to write about them.

hope everyone is well! take care!!